Our Christian Walk

Stop Thinking Just in Terms of Past-Present-Future

deborahanndykeman

Stop Thinking Just in Terms of Past-Present-Future. In light of a wonderful evening service this past Wednesday, I have been thinking a lot on what our lives should be…what our churches should be. This post from Hope Stands says it all, in much better terms than what I could express, so I wanted to share it with all of you.

For any Believer that has said church is boring or I can worship God in my own way…you haven’t experienced the power of being with other like-minded Believers. God’s plan for us is to worship and learn from His word…learn about Him, with other Believers. This is His plan for the church-age. Yes, there are times when we pray alone, worship alone, study alone, but being with other Believers is HUGE. We are to pray for one another, bear one another’s burdens and keep one another accountable. We can not do that alone.

Maybe we should be more focused on what God’s plan is for the church and our lives, rather than our own plan. Maybe we should stop trying to entertain and match the world’s system of ‘bling’ in our church services. After all, if we want to go to a show, we can. God’s word, the place where we worship is not a ‘show’.

Thank you to all of you that were part of last Wednesday evening. It was a privilege to learn God’s word and lift our voices in praise and unity to worship Him and give Him the glory. It’s an honor to know that each and every one of you, ‘has my back’.

Parenting 101

Happy First Anniversary, Jon and Courtney…June 7, 2015!

deborahanndykeman

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Life rushes by. We learn to walk as toddlers, skip through our teenage years, run through our young adulthood and now it’s galloping, me holding the reins for dear life. Anyone that has been on a run-away horse knows the feeling well. I want the horse to stop, (slowly of course and not dump me on the ground.)  I want to sit under a huge tree, munching an apple, the sun filtering down through the leaves, a breeze caressing my face and setting the grass around me to a nice sway. I want to lean against that tree, the rough bark gently scratching my back and I want to sit there…for a long time. Then I would replay all the wonderful moments of my life in slow motion, savoring the memories of them, the emotions that assailed me at the time. I would take each one and stroke it gently, holding it close to my heart and locking it there for the years ahead.

My early, growing-up years with my family, my grandfather whistling as he worked. The first time I saw my now-husband walking into church. Our wedding day, him standing so slim and tall at the front of the church…so handsome. The birth of each of our five children. That moment when you meet them for the first time…and your heart, just melts. Our times as a family at Silver Dollar City. The weddings of our two oldest daughters and the births of our three grandchildren. So many other memories as well, but those are the REALLY special ones that always come to mind.

I want to relive them…see them in full, vibrant color. Breathe deeply of each memories’ unique aroma. And I want to experience the rush of each excited heartbeat and little shiver down my spine, the warmth of knowing…you are loved.

Because this time…I would appreciate those memories, I would savor them and slow down, experiencing, reveling, wallowing in each emotion. Okay, probably not, but it would be fun to have a shot at it.

I wrote all of the above to say that I missed our second oldest daughter’s FIRST wedding anniversary. Yes, the first one! I planned for what I wanted to do and thought about it for the week leading up to it…and then I forgot all about it. It was a Sunday after all. Being a pastor’s wife gives me an excuse…right? Wrong!

So, Jon and Courtney, Happy First Anniversary! Know that you are both loved and not forgotten. But I’m riding that runaway horse and looking for the softest mound of dirt to land on. I pray for you a better second year of marriage. We have all been there. The first year is wonderful because you are together…finally. But the first year is a challenge because…you are together. I pray for you a marriage that is built on a strong foundation, each layer laid carefully and thoughtfully. I pray for you a marriage that blends your two worlds as it grows and flourishes. I pray for many wonderful memories. Savor each and every one! I love you both! xoxo

Our Christian Walk

Facebook…a life shared.

deborahanndykeman

Once upon a time I had a Facebook account. Back in the early stages when it was young. I had a farm, (for a very short time,) and I ‘met’ many people from my past. I ‘checked out’ people, just as we all do. My daughter’s friends, friends from years ago…”Wow, they’re aging pretty well, or not so well.” I used it primarily to stay in touch with our two oldest daughters, far away in upstate New York, going to school. I could say, “Hi!” with very little time expended and watch their lives through all the pictures they took.

Once upon a time I had a Facebook…then our oldest daughter married, their oldest son, our first grandchild was terribly burned by a water distiller, I took a full-time job at our local nursing home as an Activities Assistant, we put our two youngest children in school because I was working full-time…and life rushed by.

It doesn’t take a brain scientist to figure out that the above paragraph was a recipe for disaster. Too many HUGE changes in too short of time. I stopped going to the gym, connecting with my children and I stopped writing. And I closed my Facebook. I couldn’t handle what was going on in my own tiny, little world, much less keep up with everyone else’s’.

We all look back on our lives and see situations that we wish we had handled differently. We wonder what life would have been like if we had made a different decision. In some areas we KNOW we should have tackled it from another angle…but it can’t be changed now. So we start down the new, rocky road, kicking aside the stones that bruise us and forge ahead, praying that smooth pavement isn’t too far over the next hill.

I can look back now and know I shouldn’t have taken that full-time job. I should have kept my girls at home with me, just as I had for so many years. Not that it was terrible to put them in school, but it was terrible to make such a huge change at that time. I should have traveled to Ohio to be with our oldest daughter and our grandson. She had a wonderful support system there…her husband’s family. God worked that out much better than we all could have planned. But our daughter should have been the priority…just being there.

I don’t write this with regrets or guilt…well maybe, just a little, I’m a mother. But more to say that we all have a journey, a rough and rocky road to travel. That road is very seldom smoothly paved, dark and glistening in the sunlight. But we do have to travel it. We each have to prioritize our lives.

Once upon a time I had a Facebook.

Writing

How is YOUR imagination?

deborahanndykeman

As you can see, I’ve been kind of playing around with this site. I did that with my furniture when I was first married. I moved it pretty often, sometimes once a week. Now my living room furniture stays where it is for years at a time. I’ve become comfortable with it there, (or too lazy to move it). But I prefer to think of the first option.

That all leads me to the picture on my header. (I think that is what it’s called!) Although the ‘hall’ is heavily ornamented, there’s something about the way the light is coming in the windows that makes me want to jump in there and run to the end. Of course I would have on a wedding dress with a long train and veil, both flowing behind me…lifting on the breeze stirred by my quick retreat. And yes, it would be a retreat. Not a retreat in a bad way. Not running FROM something, but running TO something or someone. Maybe running from the confines of the room or the situation to the openness of the garden beyond and all that sunlight that is streaming in. And yes, there is a garden beyond. Filled with fragrant roses and graveled paths, ornamental benches waiting for an occupant or two. Did I say I would be barefoot as well? With pink, sparkly toenails?

How is YOUR imagination? What do you see or imagine when you see the above picture?

My love of reading and writing come from creating those pictures in my head. I used to tell my children that reading was so much fun because you could ‘watch’ the book in your head, kind of like a movie. I’m sure they thought I was crazy in that area and many others, but they didn’t watch much TV or movies while growing up. They all loved to read at one point in time. I was so excited when each of my children learned to read and then enjoyed it. It is such a simple pleasure!

So share your thoughts on the above picture. I love to hear what people’s ideas are on things like that. There are so many possibilities…

Just For Fun!

Remember when…

deborahanndykeman

Cover Girl make-up was all the rage? I’m thinking of the late ’70’s. All the girls at school were wearing it. During that time there was a commercial running. I want to say the model was blonde and tossing her hair. (Aren’t blondes always tossing their hair? I have few in my house.) This little picture made me think of that and it made me smile. I wanted to share it with you and make you smile too. Thank you to my children for showing me the picture! Have a great day!

Now this makes me smile!
Now this makes me smile!
Our Christian Walk

Thank you for faithful men!

deborahanndykeman

As I was typing the title for this post, I was thinking it might mean a whole different thing to some people. But I like the title so I will keep it. If you read the entire post, you will then know.

My husband, our second to youngest and I just spent this past week in Hot Springs, South Dakota. We went there to collect the rest of our daughter’s ‘stuff’ from Cornerstone Bible Institute and to attend a Pastor’s Conference there. And…to bring our daughter home.

The purpose of this Pastor’s/Bible Conference is to give pastors and those in ministry a time of encouragement and relaxation. This ministry is just in its beginning stages, this was the third year we have met together, but the founders of this would eventually like to have a retreat area there in South Dakota. Pastors and their families could stay in cabins with a stocked pantry and just have time to rejuvenate, be encouraged and relax. This is called Black Hills Ministries. I personally think it is a fantastic idea!

And that is why I am so thankful for these faithful men. Each year we have had men, usually pastors or teachers that come and speak for several sessions for three days. It has been a time of such learning and encouragement for my husband and I! These men present God’s word in such a way that these days just fly by. God’s word comes alive and is an encouragement. It teaches and at times steps on our toes, but we always feel refreshed and ready for the battles ahead. These men take time out of their very busy schedules and teach us…and that is a privilege.

So why isn’t it a privilege for all Believers? Why is it that church and learning God’s word is something to do if you don’t have anything better to do? A hundred years ago, families gathered in their homes and read from God’s word. If a pastor came through the area, they were thrilled to be taught by a man that had studied God’ word and could teach them deeper truths. Now, we have churches sitting almost vacant with no one wanting to be taught. And going to church IS about learning God’s word. It is for the equipping of the saints, the Believers. It’s not about what you can or can’t wear, how exciting the Pastor is, how long the music program is, etc. It’s about truth being taught. If truth is not taught, you should not be there. The only way you know and understand if truth is being taught is by learning God’s word and having sound discernment.

Are YOU thankful for these faithful men? Do you support them by attending services that they have spent many hours preparing for? After all, we only sit for maybe an hour or two out of our entire week. We devote more time to exercising, cleaning house, gardening, watching TV…you name It, than we do for Godly pursuits. And yes, I struggle with the same things. I too have to prioritize my life. I do know that I don’t want to stand before God and give a list of ‘things’ that were more important than Him. What about you?

A Day to Remember

Remember Memorial Day

deborahanndykeman

Today is Memorial Day…the unofficial start to summer, picnics by the lake, grilling hamburgers and hotdogs in your backyard…the unofficial start to summer?

Remember Memorial Day…when ALL small towns had a parade, veterans marching in their uniforms, small children waving the American Flag? High school bands marched proudly, playing patriotic tunes. Remember Memorial Day?

Remember the Civil War, Flanders (October, 1914), Omaha Beach (June 6, 1944), Vietnam, Iraq (Gulf War) and the continuing battles of today. Remember the men that fought in those battles, some giving their lives for us and our freedom, so many living with the memories of those battles. That is what today is for, remembering those that have died.

PLEASE remember Memorial Day. Fly your American Flag proudly, teach your small children the significance of today. Watch a parade if you can, wear a red Poppy. If you see any of our armed forces on the street, thank them for their service…and REMEMBER.

A Day to Remember

Where are you, rotary phones and typewriters?

deborahanndykeman

Remember the days when your telephone rang and you went to a certain location in your HOME and answered it? You stood by the base in your kitchen or sat down in a comfy chair, (because you placed your telephone by a comfy chair) because you were attached to the base of your phone? How about typing? You hit the keys with force on those old typewriters…typing a letter was a workout and really did a number on your nails. There wasn’t an ‘enter’ key on those old machines. Or a ‘delete’ key. You kept bottles of white stuff around for the eventual mistake.

There are times when I really miss those days. I’ve never claimed to be any kind of a ‘tech’ person. Don’t even know or understand the lingo. But I think of myself as fairly able to get around a computer or set up a new phone, etc. Until hours like this morning. Yes hours. Hours of trying to figure out how to work this site. About the time I think I have it down, I lose something and I can’t remember how to get it back again. I guess I will have to ask my 10 year old what to do. Children today seem to be born with the ‘tech’ gene. Their little fingers know how to type and they can abbreviate before they turn a year old. I thought it was kind of neat when other kids my age spoke pig Latin when I was a child. I could say my name. Children today have a whole other language that you have to decode to have a conversation with them. If you don’t have Facebook, Twitter, etc. you can even forget the conversation!

Yes, I do miss the slower, less complicated days of technology. But I do appreciate my laptop and my cell phone in case I need it for an emergency. If I text you, you will know how much effort went into that message. So, please bear with me as I learn to use this site. Strange things may show up and you may try to ‘click’ on something and find nothing. Just give me a few days…or hours. I’ll catch up…eventually.

Parenting 101

Parenting 101…Boundaries make happy parents and happy children…really!

deborahanndykeman

Have you ever driven down an interstate, swerving over white lines and rumble strips? Scraping the car next to you and bumping the one in front? How about pushing a grocery cart down a fully stocked aisle, crashing into shelves? Or decided to use your neighbor’s swimming pool because it was a hot day and you didn’t have one? These are rather silly scenarios to make a point.

Boundaries are not the enemy, they’re our friends and children need to understand this at an early age. It makes for happy parents and happy children. Think how frustrated you feel when you walk into a situation and you don’t know the rules or ‘boundaries’. If you spent your day everyday in this type of setting, you’d be throwing temper tantrums as well!

Children of all ages structure their security by their boundaries or what is expected of them. They know the rules. No rules or boundaries, frustration sets in. Babies cry, toddlers throw tantrums, older children nag, scream, fight, and teenagers tell their parents to take a hike and do whatever they want. No, I’m not a professional in the strictest sense of the word, but I’ve had five children and I’m sharing what I’ve observed and lived over the years. Boundaries make happy children…really.

As I’ve shared with my daughter many times over the almost six years of her parenting life, the best way to establish boundaries, especially in younger children is to be consistent. As a parent, don’t establish, say or threaten ANYTHING that you won’t be willing to adhere to. Then, SAY it once and ACT the second time. It won’t take much time to establish the boundaries if you as the parent stick by this religiously. Example: as soon as a child is born, have a routine and stick with it as best as you can. Yes, you have to be more flexible with babies, you have to learn to communicate with them. But they are extremely smart little individuals and they will know your weakness very quickly. Have getting up,nap, play, eating and going to bed routines. If you stick with this most days, your children will know the boundaries at a very early age. They will become frustrated when that routine doesn’t happen. They will be secure in their little life and understand that mommy/daddy love them when they know what is expected of them. As children grow up, adjust the routine, but still have one.

How many times have you been shopping and seen the child wanting something? It can be toys, candy while checking out, clothing when they’re older. The parent says maybe or no, the child asks again and again and the parent starts to doubt the answer they gave. The child senses this and goes in for the kill. The nagging and begging starts and can accelerate into tantrums if not addressed. Many years ago I witnessed a five or six year old child kicking and screaming on the floor at the checkout because they still wanted the cereal I saw the mother tell the child ‘no’ to several aisles before. Guess what? The mother went and got the cereal and threw it into the cart saying, “Will you stop asking now?” Only until the next time the child wants something they can’t have.

The scenarios I gave above were pretty over the top. But I guarantee you, they’ve happened at some point in time. Usually in those situations the law will be called in before someone gets hurt. When you drive on the interstate, you stay within the lines. Those are your boundaries. When pushing a shopping cart, you don’t bang into the shelves. On a hot day, you don’t swim in your neighbor’s pool unless they invite you. So, teaching your children the boundaries at an early age will make for a happy life…really.