Author: deborahanndykeman

Writing has always been a love of mine. Except for school reports! I didn't cherish those moments. I began with poems in grade school, and short little stories that I illustrated. I created something for each family celebration and probably wore my family out. But I graduated to a longer 'book' by the time I was 18. Following traditional romance novel writing, I pounded out a pretty cheesy story on a Royal typewriter I had found at a garage sale. You didn't worry about your nails when using one of those! When four of our five children were still young, I wrote my first full-length book back in 1998. I followed it with three more in that series. Those are my current WIP, needing many updates and editing. I'm happy to say as of this writing, the third in the Love Defined series is almost ready to be released! Currently, I have eleven published books. My husband and I have been married for forty-one years, and we have five children and nine grandchildren. I've been a homeschooling mom, Sunday school teacher, AWANA director and a pastor's wife. I've worked as a CNA and an Activity Director. A new love of mine is book cover designing! Stayed tuned for more on that. When I'm not busy writing...which I love, BTW, I'm working on home projects, marketing and attending events, where I love to meet you...my readers!
A Day to Remember

Wow!!!

deborahanndykeman

Do you see those gorgeous pink blooms above? I am so thrilled to see them pictured here in their simple purity! I would just take a big sniff, if I could, they look just that beautiful.

You all know I’m a ditz when it comes to techno stuff. I’ve complained about it multiple times on here. But again, thanks to my daughter, a.k.a. my editor and helper for all things computer challenging, I now have those very pretty roses.

Who knew you had to download them in a certain way?! “Not I,”replied the computer illiterate writer. To give myself a little, teensy-weensy bit of credit…I did get them onto my site all by myself. And I could just weep with happiness since I didn’t lose anything or mess up something else. I was even able to make a couple more little tweeks to the site! Wow!!! This is a big day for moi!

I realize some of you may think I’m a bit over-the-top with this excitement about something you may find so very simple. But let me relish in my achievements for a little while. You have to take the joyous moments where ever you can find them! Have a fantastic Tuesday!

Parenting 101

“Mommy!”

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Being a mother is a joy! And then there are days when these words make you shrivel up inside and you want to run to the high country.

“Mommy, I don’t feel good. My tummy hurts.”

I’m going to decode this for you. Make sure the vomit bucket is close by, (preferably hung around their neck), the bathroom is clean because someone will be sleeping on it, and the washing machine is available because every piece of linen in your house will be washed within the next 48 hours…if you have one child. If you have more than one…it may take a week and several loads!

“I think I did.” 

No thinking involved here on any level!

“I’m all done cleaning my room.”

This statement, usually proclaimed with a big smile is the same for a three-year old and an eighteen-year old. Stuff is stashed under the bed, piled in the corners and the dirty laundry hamper is overflowing.

“I didn’t get into the cake, (fill in your own food item here). Promise!”

Said with chocolate or your choice of food item smeared over face.

“Mommy, mommy, I did it all by myself!”

If a child under about ten says this to you in any situation…run for cover. Don’t enter the bathroom they just exited, or the kitchen area. It will probably ruin your day.

“Mommy, mommy, Susie, (again fill in the blank here) is bleeding!”

Run with trepidation to the scene of the accident. This could mean a pinprick of blood to copious amounts emerging from a sibling or friend.

And the classic…“But that’s not fair!”

This is not voiced when a contemporary is given a chore…generally, unless that chore has not been tried yet. But it is used for everything else you could possibly think of!

Yes, I do love my five children, and our current four grandchildren. But there were days when they were still living in our home when I seriously wanted to pull my hair out or hide under the house! I didn’t think they were ever going to grow up…and when they did, they would have serious mental handicaps because of the way their thinking seemed to wander around their brain.

No, I was not the nicey-nice mom! I spent the day in my work clothes and ran a tight-ship. Drill instructor was mentioned a few times…okay, more than I would like to remember! But…all my children survived, and yes, they have pretty good mental capacities…most of the time.

That’s why I got such a kick out of this picture. If I had seen it twenty years ago, I would have pasted it on my refrigerator…and laughed. I really did want to be like the first mom…promise!

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Marriage, Our Christian Walk

We Are What We Think

deborahanndykeman

Chapter One
Late Summer of 2003

Kathy Miller applied the last stroke of mascara and pushed the applicator back into the bottle. She dabbed at a stray fleck of brown beneath her lower lash and stepped away from the mirror to take a critical assessment of her appearance. The same thing she did almost every Sunday morning before leaving for church. The last few years of the routine had become increasingly difficult with the addition of several gray hairs as well as pounds. Her curvaceous figure of twenty years ago was resulting in a lumpy look that she did not find attractive at all. Her ample bust had lost to gravity, keeping the eye away from her once trim and small waist.
She tried to fluff her brown hair, succeeding to make it even frizzier in the late summer heat and humidity of the Hudson Valley. It was desperately in need of a good cut, but she never seemed to find the time to locate a good hair dresser. Several bad ones over the years had made her a little leery of trying anyone new.
She sighed and turned away from the mirror, feeling as though she had just wasted another five minutes of her already hectic morning. She straightened the little jacket of the floral dress she wore. She felt old and tired.

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The above was taken from the first part of chapter one of my book, To Thee I’m Wed. If you are a woman, and have been married for any length of time, and you have children…multiple children… you understand the above. You have lived it while getting dressed for the day or going someplace special. Women can be very critical of themselves…probably their harshest critic.

Why?

I started my marriage full of hope and expectations. I wanted to be the perfect wife and mother, have the perfect house, and I was always going to be thin and attractive. My thoughts at nineteen, almost twenty were that I would never let myself go, as I had seen other women do. Gaining weight and becoming haggard-looking were choices…and I was going to be sure to not let that happen to me!

Now, I’ve spent the past thirty years being overweight. Yes, I’ve dieted and exercised in between having five children. I’ve never been a couch potato…but in my mind, I certainly look like a bag of potatoes! My hair is starting to go gray around the temples and there are many days when I look pretty haggard. And to me…that seems cruel!

It’s cruel because I’ve had the best of intentions. Cruel because life marches on and doesn’t wait for you to get your act together in any area. Cruel…I never wanted to look as I do now!

Yes, it’s difficult to write this. I’m baring my soul and acknowledging things I don’t really want to face, much less put down on my computer. But I know many of you feel the exact same way…we are not alone .

So…is it really about the weight and the gray hair? Probably not. And that is also true for many of us. We try to fix the outward appearance or the items that seem ‘fixable’. But we don’t deal with the real issue at hand.

To Thee I’m Wed deals with the real issue of Kathy’s loneliness in her marriage. Her children are older, her husband has a job he loves, and he is wrapped up in that. Kathy doesn’t really feel needed or wanted. I think many women attack themselves because of those feelings. They don’t know where to go or what to do, and that leaves us very vulnerable. We take comfort in many ways. Sometimes eating, drinking, and spending hours with friends so we don’t have to deal with the insecurities of our home life. And yes, sometimes male companionship enters in when we think our needs are not being met at home.

Of course those are wrong responses…usually…and no, I don’t have the answers. If I did…I wouldn’t be writing this post!

I do know that women need to take more time to be thankful for what they do have…me included. Look around and consider your life. If you are married, be thankful for that husband. If you have children, be thankful for those little blessings in disguise. Because there are many, many days, when the good side of having children can be hard to find! Be thankful for your home, your job, your church and your friends. These are all given to us to help us live this life and have enjoyment. As it says in:

Philippians 4:8 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

We can all find bad in almost any situation. Believe me…I’m a critical person. If it’s there, I’m going to find it! But that attitude also takes our joy out of life. So concentrate on that verse. Apply it to your life.

Practically…if you are overweight, take steps to lose weight. Actively get involved with changing your appearance and health for the better. Instead of watching TV and snacking, go for a walk. If you’re lonely, think of volunteer work or a job. If you’re overweight and lonely, look into a gym membership. My point being…make a change. Baby steps toward something different and positive, usually result in great strides at some point. Just start!

Writing

The Top 50 Sites for Indie and Self-Published Authors

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This post was very helpful to me, so I wanted to share it with you! Indie authors are coming into their own. As a self-published author, this list was very interesting. I have used Smashwords and CreateSpace. CreateSpace is a bit more user-friendly in my opinion. If you are thinking of publishing your own book, check out this list and read all that you can on the topic. I would highly recommend it!

Future Self

I stumbled across this fantastic resource and wanted to share with you. I’d love to hear any feedback.   # URL Category 1 KBoards – Writers’ Cafe ALL 2 The Newbie’s Gui…

Source: The Top 50 Sites for Indie and Self-Published Authors

Our Christian Walk, Where do I go?

Walk the Talk

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Sunday morning…a day when most people would think of attending a church of their choice. Now it’s just another day in most people’s minds. A day to sleep in, barbecue, go to the park or watch a ball game. I can understand the thinking behind that. People today are rushed from one activity to another, usually working a couple of jobs to get by. We are tired physically and emotionally…and we want a break.

This post came to mind because of the readers on here that have clicked on the link, The church is called to be churchy, so deal with it. I don’t know why, but this site is no longer there. So I do apologize for those of you that have tried to read the article. It was a good one. He had several posts that really made you think. Maybe that’s why the site is gone…too much conviction going on.

I was also thinking of something our second oldest daughter asked about. She and her husband are experiencing some testing. She didn’t understand why it seemed like every time they decided to make a commitment to read the Bible, attend church, and just generally get things together in their lives spiritually…life became tougher.

What a question!

When a person first accepts Christ as their Savior, the world is pretty bright and new. It’s a wonderful feeling. You skip along, finally understanding a bit about the Bible and trusting in your destination.

But then life happens.

Many times a new Believer does not have follow-up. They don’t continue to grow in their relationship with God. They don’t find a church to attend where they can have fellowship and support, and learn about God’s Word. They don’t make time in their lives to read the Bible or pray. That new-found joy begins to evaporate until all there is left is the burden of life. This is a very sad scenario, because the new Believer never has a chance to develop that relationship with God and other Believers. They don’t have the opportunity to have the rewards and blessings of the Christian life that make this worldly life more bearable.

Then there is the older Believer. They have been plugging away for years, and that first joy has disappeared. Sometimes the thinking is, “What does it matter if I go to church or read my Bible?  Who cares if I pray? I don’t see any results.” They lose heart and just rest on the fact that they will go to Heaven someday. That is good enough.

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But is it? God sent His only Son to die for us.

1 John 4:10 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

1 John 2:2(NASB)
2 and He Himself is the [a]propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world.

So why can’t we as Believers put a little effort into our Christian Walk?

I think that God allows a new Believer a chance to get their feet wet. They can stroll down the path of that new gift of salvation. The canopy of trees overhead shades them from the bright sun, and the birds chirp merrily. No stones impede the progress as the Babe in Christ drifts along.

But God doesn’t want us to stay there! A mountain climber isn’t content stepping over an ant hill. A surfer doesn’t want to dabble their feet in a brook. The long-distance runner won’t be motivated by a casual walk around the block. A pastor won’t only teach on salvation, but give the whole council of God. Any new mother loves her baby, but she wants them to grow up someday. And that’s what God wants of us…His children.

A mountain climber doesn’t get better by stepping over ant hills. He or she has to climb higher and more rough terrain to progress. The surfer has to find bigger waves to hone their skills. Someone that runs marathons has to run…a lot, or they aren’t ready for that race. A pastor that really wants to lead his flock and teach them God’s Word has to study and pray so that he knows what his congregation needs. Parents gain knowledge of their children over the years by caring for them and then instructing them in the ways of life.

So why do so many Christians just want to be saved…and call it good?

The Christian Walk is all of those items I mentioned above, put together and then some. In order to grow in Christ and abide in Him, you have to put the time in. The more time you grow, the harder the journey becomes. Often that path is strewn with rocks and boulders, deep crevices beside the road. The shade is intermittent and the glare of the sun is blinding. There are days, weeks and sometimes months when the birds stop singing. The Believer that perseveres finds great blessing and reward at the end of their journey, just the same as the mountain climber, the surfer, the runner, the pastor and the parent.

But the rewards for the Believer are so much better! I love this conversation that Jesus Christ has with his Disciples in John 14. It shows that people have always been human, struggling with the answers. It also shows Christ’s patience with us.

John 14 (NASB)

Jesus Comforts His Disciples

14 “Do not let your heart be troubled; [a]believe in God, believe also in Me. 2 In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. 3 If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, thatwhere I am, there you may be also. 4 And you know the way where I am going.” 5 Thomas *said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, how do we know the way?” 6 Jesus *said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.

Oneness with the Father

7 If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; from now on you know Him, and have seen Him.”
8 Philip *said to Him, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.”9 Jesus *said to him, “Have I been so long with you, and yet you have not come to know Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own initiative, but the Father abiding in Me does His works. 11 Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me; otherwise believe because of the works themselves. 12 Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; andgreater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father.13 Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.
15 “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.

Role of the Spirit

16 I will ask the Father, and He will give you another [b]Helper, that He may be with you forever; 17 that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.
18 “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19 [c]After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also. 20 In that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you. 21 He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.”22 Judas (not Iscariot) *said to Him, “Lord, what then has happened that You are going to disclose Yourself to us and not to the world?” 23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine, but the Father’s who sent Me.
25 “These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you. 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. 28 You heard that I said to you, ‘I go away, and I will come to you.’ If you loved Me, you would have rejoiced because I go to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. 29 Now I have told you before it happens, so that when it happens, you may believe. 30 I will not speak much more with you, for the ruler of the world is coming, and he has nothing in Me; 31 but so that the world may know that I love the Father,[d]I do exactly as the Father commanded Me. Get up, let us go from here.

For me, I desire the close relationship with God. I want to abide in Christ and seek Him first in all that I do. No, I’m not always successful…and no Believer is. My path is often rocky and full of crevices and there are days when I want to sit down and not continue. But prayer and God’s Word strengthen me so that I may get up and forge ahead…because I know the rewards…the medal, is there at the end.

We’ve all just watched the Olympics. We’ve seen people from all around the world dedicate their lives to one event…for a medal. That medal won’t last into eternity. Think about your own life, your priorities, the daily chores you put so much effort into. Will they be there for you in eternity?

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As a Believer, my life should be centered around God and His priorities. Spending a Sunday morning in church with other Believers, reading my Bible, spending time in prayer rather than complaining, shouldn’t be too hard. Let’s put forth the effort.

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Writing

Imagination

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When I was younger…much younger, I loved to read. My favorite genre was biographies and autobiographies. I really enjoyed anything historical, and that is still one of my favorites. In high school, Victoria Holt became a favorite author. It always took a bit to get into one of her stories, but once you did the twists and turns took you on a wonderful journey.

I loved reading so much that I would rush through chores at home so I could find a cozy corner. To spend hours ensconced in a great tale was better than anything else in the world, in my young life. In teen years, I spent my lunch hours in the library reading. I could eat any time. But to have all those books at my disposal was more temptation than I could handle!

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For me, reading was better than a TV program or a movie. I could read and the story would unfold in my mind. The characters would show up vividly in spectacular color, their features, hair and clothing all of my creation with a little help from the author. Landscape and houses would all come under my direction as each scene paraded through.

When I first saw these pictures, I was so excited. They show just what a reader does in an artistic way. Kudos to the photographers and artists that thought of this and captured it so well.

Reading a great book, whatever the genre, takes you to scenes in your head. The story plays out in your mind until you reach the end. If the author has done their job, you are involved and part of that. And it is in vivid color.

As the first picture shows, the sky is the limit with your imagination. Shut off the TV, turn off your phone and find a great place to read. A green meadow, a rowboat on a pond, waves crashing at your feet, or a chair beside a crackling fire. All make wonderful havens for the story to unfold.

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Just For Fun!

Millennials

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I admit it. I’m old! I’m at the place that I said I would never be. I was going to be young and hip my entire life. I was going to understand my children, their music, their clothing and their decisions. I would be young at heart and fun to be around until the day I died. I wasn’t going to be a fuddy-duddy like so many older people that I had seen when I was young.

To say a phrase I dislike…”Not!”

I have arrived at the destination I was not going to take. But I’m still a step behind. I think of younger people as yuppies, and that was how many years ago?

So the term today is millennials. I must say, I don’t even know what that all entails. But this video seemed to wrap it all up in one pretty little package. I mean no disrespect in sharing this…just a light-hearted look at what is going on in the world today. If you have been out in public at all recently, you have seen some of the things that are spoken of. If you are old like me, you’re nodding your head. If you are young like my children…you are shaking your head saying, “What?”

So, just enjoy. Start your day off with a smile on this Wednesday.

For those of you that watched this video earlier…I do apologize. There was another video after the song that I hadn’t realized was included. It was using language and expressing views that I would not state on here. Again, my point to this was to look at the millennials in a fun way.

Writing

The Rolling Hills

deborahanndykeman

I love creating the Facebook memes I post a few times a month. Two Tuesdays a month I post something from one of my books. On Fridays I post something inspirational. Either a Bible verse or a few words to get people thinking. Few words can say much!

Today, I posted this. I absolutely love this picture! It just seemed to bring it all together. Even though the picture is of Ireland, it reminded me so much of the Flint Hills where we currently reside. There are many places around us where you can top a hill and have a view such as this one. In the spring time, or a wet summer like we’ve had, the hills roll along, green mounds under the very blue sky.

The words under the picture are from the first book in the Rubyville series, A Place to Call Home. And yes, Annabella Barton would have walked around the Flint Hills, dragging her beautiful gown through the bluestem pastures. Sometimes the rigors of the late 1880’s mandates for women didn’t sit well on her shoulders!

Since I love this picture so much…Rubyville - A Place to Call Home

Have a great Tuesday! Take a stroll through your neck of the woods. Watch the late summer wild flowers sway in the breeze. Listen to the rustle of the leaves of the trees, dark green filtering the sun. Lift your eyes to the blue sky, lazy clouds drifting overhead. Have a perfect late summer day!

Writing

This Life We Live

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It seems that people that are creative are usually creative in many different areas. For example, if you play a musical instrument, you may also sing. If you can draw or paint, you probably have a good eye for photography or landscaping. Of course those are general observances. In my opinion, your brain just works along certain lines. That doesn’t mean that you aren’t able to appreciate music, art work or photography if you only sing in the shower, and color at the kindergarten level.

Sometimes it’s been hard for me to narrow down what I wanted to do with my life. When younger, I loved to draw and I loved art. I talked about this in another post. I also wanted to be a  ballerina, a famous singer, famous artist and maybe dabble in photography. As I grew older, modeling appealed to me and then an interior decorator seemed the way to go. At one point I even thought of being an architect.

So, I became a wife and mother! At times through the years, I thought of all those exciting careers and lifestyles I could have had. Of course I would have been extremely successful with all of them. Because in your dreams…you always are! That’s what’s fantastic about dreaming…you can make it whatever you want.

But you know what? Because I became a wife and mother I was able to do all of the above. I played the piano for church and sang in the choir. Our children and I had a singing group for awhile and we were asked to sing at several places. I’ve ‘designed’ and decorated so many of our homes over the years. Landscaping our yards was always fun. I’ve created an English garden at our current home…on a bleak Kansas driveway. I’ve had the privilege to attend several balls, wearing the gowns that I designed and made. My children have endured me singing to them at night, and dancing with them around the room. I’ve fulfilled all my dreams.

Have I been successful? Well the score is still out on that one. I have one more child at home and several grandchildren. And yes, they will have to endure all my interests. Someday, I will stand before my Heavenly Father and I hope to hear, “A job well-done, my good and faithful servant.”

Life isn’t about the career you choose or all the goals you set. You can have a career and have goals. But life is what you do along the way…the life you live. Have a Blessed Sunday!

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A Quick Thought

Solitude

deborahanndykeman

I worked the night shift for a year, two years ago. I didn’t work full-time, and I am thankful for that. I don’t think I could have stood it as long as I did if I had worked a forty hour week.

I’ve never been much of a sleeper. Everything has to be about perfect for me to get a good night’s rest. The correct pillow, mattress, and room temperature. For me, around fifty degrees, snuggled under a bunch of covers works out very well. Then I sleep.

So, to have me up to work from 10 pm to 6 am a couple nights a week, usually meant no sleep for that day. By the time I arrived home, it was wake-up call for everyone else in the house at the time. Dark curtains at the window, and the temperature as cool as I could reasonably have it, didn’t seem to help when the sun was shining outside. After a year of that, I was pretty much exhausted.

What I loved about that shift was the solitude. In nursing, generally the patients and the residents are sleeping…until you go in to wake them up. Yes, I had tasks to accomplish before the next shift came in, but it wasn’t crazy with the hustle and bustle of day-time hours. The lights were low, it was quiet, and it was peaceful. Solitude.

For me, being alone isn’t a bad thing. I do appreciate my family and friends. I love a day away, or a few days when we can manage it, with my husband. An afternoon with a dear friend is very special. I look forward to our family times when we are all together, eating around the table or playing games. But I do enjoy the times like now, when I’m alone for a bit.

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Yes, I should be sleeping, and I will probably regret this decision to write at two in the morning. I’ll regret it when I’m at work later today, dragging through the last couple of hours until I can go home. But for now…it’s really nice. Just the hum of the ceiling fan, the air-conditioner coming on every now and then, and solitude. My mind works much better during these times. How about yours?

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