Author: deborahanndykeman

Writing has always been a love of mine. Except for school reports! I didn't cherish those moments. I began with poems in grade school, and short little stories that I illustrated. I created something for each family celebration and probably wore my family out. But I graduated to a longer 'book' by the time I was 18. Following traditional romance novel writing, I pounded out a pretty cheesy story on a Royal typewriter I had found at a garage sale. You didn't worry about your nails when using one of those! When four of our five children were still young, I wrote my first full-length book back in 1998. I followed it with three more in that series. Those are my current WIP, needing many updates and editing. I'm happy to say as of this writing, the fourth in the Love Defined series is written and waiting for edits! I can't wait to get this final book in the series into my reader's hands! Currently, I have published twelve books, creating the covers on most of them. The cover work is something I really enjoy! Stay tuned for more on that. My husband and I have been married for forty-one years, and we have five children and nine grandchildren. I've been a homeschooling mom, Sunday school teacher, AWANA director and a pastor's wife. I've worked as a CNA and an Activity Director. When I'm not busy writing...which I love, BTW, I'm working on home projects, marketing and attending events, where I love to meet you...my readers!
A Quick Thought

Shop Local…Because you WANT to

deborahanndykeman

I’ve been reading more and more lately about being an author, and handling it like a small business, especially in your town.

I don’t know if I like that or not. So I will think on it for while.

Yes, I do see the point. If you are an indie author especially, you have to market, promote and sell your books. That is the business part of writing. And that’s the part I’m not too fond of.

But in reality, I do have a small business. I want others to purchase a product from me. And when you live in a small town, there is not a lot of room to bungle your small business  and you will, if you’re not careful.

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In any business you want to offer a product that others want, and desire enough to pay for. In a large city, the products are wanted and needed by many people. There is competition for that product, whatever it may be. In a small town, there aren’t so many choices.

In a big city, a smart business person will offer a product at a competitive price. They will offer that product in a clean, attractive way. They will be friendly and want repeat customers. They know if they do not do those things, the customer will go elsewhere and give someone else the money for the services needed. They want to keep that customer and their money.

The small town business should up their game even more. Because people can and will travel for better service and products. The attitude shouldn’t be to support the small town business just because it is in your town. That’s a nice thought. But you also still need to give that customer something, some reason to stay local. The small town business still needs to offer great prices and sales. They have to run their business well. Treat their customers like they are royalty, offer services that are not offered other places. One place that comes to mind is our local grocery store. They carry your bags to your car! I was flabbergasted the first time I saw this twenty years ago. What big grocery store chain can you think of that does that for their customers? This same store offered tremendous sales on baking items, etc. during the holidays. They wanted you to shop there and not drive out of town to get those same items. Another great aspect of this store was seeing the owner sweeping the parking lot, carrying out groceries, and talking with the customers. The store was always clean and friendly. I wanted to shop there! It was a pleasant place to be. Our local gift shop has lovely items and they gift-wrap for free. Where do you think I go when I need something pretty and special? Not Walmart! One local restaurant offered a terrific meal for a great price, drink included. We ate there many, many times over the year or so that took place. Again, making customers feel special and giving them a fantastic deal.

I want to shop local, but not just because I should.  I want to be treated better because I’m part of a community, offered better prices, shop in a cleaner, more friendly environment because that’s what a small business should do! You want your community to put their money back into it. So make it easy for them to do, and pleasant at the same time. As a small business you have the time and ability to treat your customers like royalty. And if you do consistently, they won’t want to be anywhere else.

This applies to the small business owner across the board, whether you own a restaurant, car dealership, grocery store, auto parts store, hair salon, heating and cooling, clothing, or write books. Offer your services in a friendly manner, make your business stand out and someplace people want to support and be a part of. Don’t put a guilt trip on your community about shopping local if you aren’t offering services above and beyond what they can find elsewhere.

Christmas shopping is just around the corner. Do you want to be a part of a huge chain store, an overworked clerk checking you out? Or would you rather stroll along a pretty street, popping in and out of bustling shops, music playing, being greeted by others you know and want you there? Do you want the store owner happy to see you, offering you a great deal and knowing your family, or a store clerk that could care less if you’re there or not? If you own a small business in a small town, think on that one. If you’re a savvy business owner, it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out! Happy shopping!

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Our Christian Walk

Don’t Be so Hard on Yourself!

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For some reason, a commercial I remembered from my childhood started floating through my brain sometime during the night. I do know the reason why, but I want this to be a happy post! So I won’t go into the details of why that particular commercial sprang back to life.

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“I can bring home the bacon, and fry it up in the pan…” were some of the lyrics. It was advertising the perfume, Enjoli. I don’t even know if the perfume is still available. The commercial I was thinking of was from 1978, and they remade it 1980. So sales must have been really great and it worked. It worked for me enough to remember the jingle! The part I didn’t understand at fourteen was bringing home the bacon and making it! I thought that was pretty much crazy. Why would you want to do both? Of course the goal of the commercial was to show that you could do everything as a woman… look gorgeous, and smell fantastic while doing it all! And that was a big deal back in the 1970’s.

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I must confess, and I really don’t want to get on anyone’s bad side. But I don’t want to do it all in any area of my life! Each of us has talents, gifts, and things that we are good at, and other items that aren’t so wonderful. I love to learn new things, and I’m happy that I’m pretty self-sufficient in most areas, but I don’t want to do it all.

I believe that God designed us to work well together. Each individual has areas of strength and weakness. And when we are functioning together, those talents, gifts, and areas all fit, just like the cogs on a wheel. When we apply patience and love toward those around us and not focus on the bad…life can be wonderful.

Do I apply what I just said? No! But I have applied it enough times in my life that I know it does work. And there are days when I need a kick-in-the-pants as well!

I’m perfectly happy to let someone else earn the money for the bacon while I fry it up. And I don’t mind purchasing it while someone else cooks it and does the dishes. But I would really prefer not to do it all. The same goes while I’m at work, attending church, raising my children, etc. Each of us needs to be a part of a whole.

Are women able to manage, multi-task, work hard at work and at home? Are they able to raise children, run a business, bake Thanksgiving dinner, or run the country? Yes! But what’s wrong with concentrating on just a few things rather than being fantastic at everything, and feeling lousy when you fail in some area?

Just do what God has designed you to do as a person. And do it well. Only you know what that is. Don’t let others guilt you into doing it all! Let others do their part…share the load.

If you want to be a stay-at-home mother, and you are able to, do it! You are raising the next generation. Take your job seriously and don’t feel small. Pass on the extremely important information those children need in so many areas. Teach them how to survive in this life, equip them in all areas. If you are working, be a hard worker and do your job well. Be an asset to others around you. Encourage others to use their talents and be part of that wheel.

Jump off the treadmill we call life, and live your life. Share it with others, be a part of the whole. We only have one shot at this. You make it want you want it to be.

 

A Day to Remember, Where do I go?

Up, Up and Away!

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We’ve all been there. And we’ve sat on one side of the aisle or the other. We’ve been the parent of a child or children traveling by plane, or we haven’t been.

Deep words… right? But you know what I’m talking about!

I used to love to fly, back in the late seventies. Remember when you boarded the plane, carrying half the items from your house with you? You crammed them into the overhead storage, holding the doors shut and hoping they wouldn’t pop open. You checked in the other half of your house. If you were on a long flight, they served a leisurely meal, asked if you would like a drink…anything of your choice. They stocked the beverage aisle of a grocery store on those jets. Then you could watch a movie, take a nap…and they even offered you hearing devices, pillows and blankets at no extra charge. What a concept! Oh, and you could stay dressed before boarding your flight.

Those were the days, and I miss them!

Those were also the days when I didn’t have children.

I really don’t know why I flew so much when our children were young. I was not a career woman, very content to stay home. But I did fly a few times, and once with three children under the age of seven. The youngest two months old. We landed in New Jersey, and that’s a complete post all on its own! Needless to say, I was very happy for a few minutes to have my oldest with me to crawl under the stall door and unlock it so we could use the facilities. I didn’t happen to have change on hand while juggling a baby to pay to use them!

But I digress…again! When you are traveling with children, you board the plane with armor on. You walk that long aisle, trying to focus on your seat assignment, and you make eye contact with no one. Those that see you coming lugging your child, your stroller, car seat and diaper bag, scoot down in their seats and pretend to sleep. Cover their faces with a magazine or begin looking for people to trade seats with. Seriously!

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And I have done the same.

While having the privilege to fly child-free a few times, I prayed that family would pass several seats beyond me. I just wanted a few hours all to myself. But, as you can guess, I was the lucky one. A little boy of about three was my seat companion for one flight. He was fairly well-behaved, coloring and chattering. I could deal with that. I just went into Mommy-mode once again. The six-year old on another flight that stood on his seat behind me, taking the clip from my hair and spilling juice down my arm was another problem. If the flight hadn’t been so crowded, I would have been begging to trade. I would have even served drinks.

Flying with children is a challenge and I was blessed several times with seat mates that were special. While traveling with our son when he was very small, one older lady actually said out loud…I was shocked…that she was hoping I was next to her so she could travel with a baby. I almost ran because I thought there had to be something wrong with her and I had better protect my child! We sat with her for three hours. She held our son so I could eat, and while he was napping. She even fed him a bottle. We had very pleasant conversation and that flight was a joy! Another flight  with our three oldest, a gentleman asked if he could assist me with the diaper bag and car seat on my way off the plane. He said his wife traveled alone with their children and he never understood what she had gone through until he had watched our little family.

The flight attendants were always very helpful and cheerful. Such a need for a worn-out, travel-weary mother.

Yesterday, our second oldest flew with our grandchild for the first time. And yes, she had the same looks. I think it was her second flight that she had the seats to herself and she said that was just fine! Does this little one look like she would give any kind of grief?

Thank you to those of you that see a need and help. And to those that hide and pretend to sleep…I won’t fault you. I understand the fear! Have a great Saturday!

Just For Fun!

Time to Change the Sheets!

deborahanndykeman

No, I don’t recommend that you drink that cup of tea. I just thought the picture was pretty, and it reminded me of how very little time I’ve had lately to sip tea and read. If I poured a steaming pot of water over an aromatic tea bag, it would sit until it gathered leaves, just as the picture above demonstrates.

Autumn is becoming more of a favorite time of year for me. When I was younger, it always seemed as though it was a bit depressing, watching everything die back and get ready for a long, cold winter. Now I appreciate the colors more and the anticipation of life slowing down for a few months. It would be lovely to be able to sit beside a roaring fire, watching gentle snow as I sipped hot chocolate, but we’ll have to see how that turns out!

The change of seasons also means change the sheets. The first of October the cotton sheets go into the trunk and closet, and out come the flannel sheets along with the heavier blankets. The rooms are thoroughly cleaned, curtains washed, windows if needed. Fans are set to the winter mode and wiped down as well. Our youngest volunteered to do this for me this fall, and I let her. One less chair to climb for me! And of course, every year, the day I put on the flannel sheets, we have a heat wave. But, at least the job is done!

What made this job even more enjoyable was our cat, pictured below. And yes, she is a bit perturbed in this picture!

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She spent the morning in our bedroom, sitting in the middle of everything I needed to do! Aargh! At one point, after fifty times of going around her, trying not to topple the mound of bedding on the rocking chair, I managed to almost step on her. In my effort to miss her, I did finally send the bedding to the floor, and I flung the extension wand of the vacuum into the whirling fan blades before I caught myself on the way to falling on my face. Those fans have quite the ability to jerk something out of your hands and fling it across the room! Thankfully, no one and nothing was hurt. The fan still works, and the plastic pieces of the vacuum wand seem to be all in one piece as they should be. Cassie had her feathers ruffled a bit, and so she finally decided it was safer outside. She would not smile for the camera!

 

The above pictures are the finished product of a morning of cleaning. And yes, the storms blew through and now it is cool enough to enjoy the flannel sheets upon the bed. Soon, I will spend my evenings beside the fireplace…eating ice cream. But that’s another post!

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Have a great Saturday, and give your cat a little love!

Writing

Indie Publishing

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I absolutely love that I am self-published! For a control freak such as myself, it fits me wonderfully. I can write, design, book release, and write what I would like all at my own pace. And it is mine! I have had some amazing help along the way…couldn’t have done it without those two ladies…but I’ve still had a sense of control. And for me, that is huge!

So, when big-name companies are recognizing indie authors, that’s even more amazing. There are so many writers out there that have wonderful stories to tell, and now they can.

During the month of October, Amazon will be celebrating great writing self-published via Kindle Direct Publishing, CreateSpace and Audio Book Creation Exchange.
Share why you love being an indie author in social media and on your blog. Feel free to create videos, photos and posts about your experience! Remember to use the hashtag #PoweredByIndie so we can share your stories as well
Visit the official landing page www.amazon.com/poweredbyindie to discover great indie titles and learn more about indie authors – share the page with fellow authors!Like the KDP Facebook page so you can join author Q&As, stay connected to the campaign and get tips on publishing from AmazonLet’s celebrate great writing together!

I received the above from the Kindle Direct Publishing team and wanted to share it on here. It’s been a pleasure working with CreateSpace and Amazon to get my manuscripts into book format and available to the public. And now I’m very privileged to be participating in several events this fall where I can have my books available to the public, and meet my readers.

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This one was at the Wichita Public Library back in September.

I never dreamed of being a writer, and I’m still in awe when I think of all that has transpired on this writing journey over the past year! I’ve written a four-book series and self-published five books. That’s incredible to me! And it all took place in this little corner:

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I do love to sit down and write, and I love to design. But as I’ve said so many times before, that’s only the tip of the iceberg. These two ladies, one a very dear friend and the other our oldest daughter, step in and take care of all the hard parts. Julia Ryan at http://www.DesignByJulia.com has created amazing, beautiful covers for all my books. She has been invaluable help to my daughter in showing her the ropes of editing, typesetting and making that interior look fantastic! I can get the words strung together, but that’s about all it is without those two. Britta Ann Meadows is beginning her own journey with Peas in a Pod Editing and Design. Thank you both so very much!

So join me in celebrating great, self-published writing!

 

 

Our Christian Walk

Life is Real

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Life is Real…and so are the Answers. I use this on my blog and my business cards, my Facebook page and group, and just about anything I can. Because it is extremely important to me. Those words communicate a lot as to the way I live my life. And I hope they do to you as well.

As you all know, I am a Christian. I have accepted Christ as my Savior. I did so when I was very young, around nine years old on the way home from church. Suddenly, on that bright Colorado morning, everything just clicked for me. It finally all made sense, it added up and it was right.

Did I go on to live a perfect life? No mistakes, smooth sailing? NO! Because I was saved so young, I really do think that at times, I took it for granted. It was just always there. I took God’s grace to an extreme. I’ve often admired those people that I know that have been saved when they were adults. At times I feel they appreciate it more. They understand a bit more about the sacrifices that have been made for them.

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Life is Real. Even as a Believer, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve doubted my faith at times, and I have not lived the life that God would have liked. But He has allowed me to live it the way I’ve chosen, just as He does with all of us. I’ve made bad decisions…really bad decisions. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I’ve had the wrong priorities in my Christian walk and I’ve even yelled at my husband and children. I’ve not been the perfect parent at times and I’ve really messed up the wife role on more than a few occasions. Life is Real for me.

There are answers for every situation in life. Often times we don’t want to hear them. And even if we do listen, we don’t want to think we have that problem. We don’t want to apply God’s Word to what is happening. Because sometimes it’s just not fun to do what’s right. Many times it’s a struggle, it hurts our pride, or keeps us on the ‘straight and narrow’ when we really want to just ramble wherever. I know, I’ve been there!

When I write, I write from my soul. That’s not odd or different, I’m sure most writers do. But I address problems that have been part of my life…my Christian life. And at times it’s not very pretty. The answers that I give in my books, are real answers. They aren’t what someone wants to hear, or some smooth words to ease the hurt. Because at times, we all need a little kick in the pants. The answers that I give are not always the ones I’ve used, but they are the ones I should have used.

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God can and will direct our paths, if we let Him. If we throw out our plans, and listen to His plans for our lives. If we forget the pride and hurt feelings we harbor, He can work in us. He can give us real answers to solve the problems. At times, I haven’t wanted to listen. I have turned my back and handled it my way, and have gained disastrous results. And you know what, I’ll do it again.

The Christian life isn’t a stroll down a flower-strewn path with birds singing happily in our ears. Becoming a Christian won’t do away with the worldly problems we are all faced with on a daily basis. But it will give you the answers you need to be able to deal with them. As you grow in your Christian walk with Him, those answers are seen more readily, and the temptation to follow things that aren’t so good, will lessen. Accepting Christ as your Savior isn’t a one-time fix, it’s a life-long endeavor. And it’s a journey I’m very happy to be on.

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Life is real, and the answers are at your fingertips.

Just For Fun!

His Eye Is On the Butterfly

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Once upon a time, my husband was a photographer. He took photos for a newspaper for a very short while. When I met him, he was always taking pictures. He literally wore his camera wherever he went. Because of this, we had loads of pictures of our first days together as man and wife. I even have one of me eating a pop tart for the first time! Our first baby was photographed much more than the other four. And we still have all those pictures, in a box…somewhere.

He was very talented in catching just the right moment. He had a great eye for colors and the way items showed in their best light. I say all of this in the past tense because he no longer wears his camera. He hasn’t had a good camera for many, many years.

Which is why I thought these pictures were even more beautiful. They remind me of the colors of autumn, a theme for me the past few days. And who says a cell phone is just for talking? Beautiful pictures, husband of mine! Maybe it’s time to purchase another camera?

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A Quick Thought

Autumn Hue

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To walk a wooded path on an autumn day is glorious! The crispness is the air with each intake of breath. The smell of decaying leaves, crunching under your feet. If you pause, you may feel the stillness all around, the drift of a leaf to the ground.

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The beauty in the various colors of red, yellow and orange, sun caressing the array, is sometimes difficult to believe. You stand in awe.

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Enjoy the colors all around you. Creations flaming show. Sit on your deck, take a walk through the woods and absorb the hues, sounds and smells of this new season. Welcome autumn!

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Our Christian Walk

Working For a Living

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Working for a living. Just about all of us have to do it. I was very fortunate to be able to stay at home with our five children for 20+ years…but that meant that my husband was gone…working for a living.

Some people are able to work at a job or profession that they love. But a very high percentage have to just work, and that makes life not so pleasant at times. So what can you do to still live your life and enjoy it, in spite of having to be gone for several hours out of every day?

You can be the answer.

Yes,  most of the time, you can control your environment and make it as pleasant or as miserable as you want. And I really do think this applies to many circumstances in life. And as a disclaimer, I’m not talking about abusive relationships here. There are times in your personal life and your work place it is just best to leave the situation, but that is for another post.

I’m digging out of the muddle of being at work for the past week or so. Doing double shifts, covering for others, as have many at my place of employment. It seems to be the same everywhere and it is becoming very discouraging. People don’t want to work, they want a paycheck. So here is a quick run-down of what it means to have a job.

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Work when you are scheduled to work. If you have a job, know what your schedule is and be there, every time.

Report for work on time. Not five, ten, etc. minutes late. Plan your day to be there, where you are supposed to be, where you are being paid to be.

Do your work. All of it, everyday and in a timely manner. Don’t take the easy road, wasting time, leaving stuff for others to finish. Find out how something is supposed to be done, and do it, the correct way, every time.

Put the phone away. You are being paid to work, not talk or text. Have some integrity and do what you are being paid for.

Be considerate of others. This is the big one. If you are considerate of others, then you will follow all of the above. People matter, and when you follow the guidelines I’ve given, you show that others matter to you. When you don’t follow them, you show that you care for no one other than yourself.

For me, this post is a ‘duh’ moment. What I’ve said is not difficult to follow and just common courtesy. It was something that people always did when they had a job. You weren’t entitled to be paid without working for it. And you were thankful to be paid and you wanted to be a good employee. The people that didn’t care were few and far between. Now they are the majority, and it makes it very hard on the rest of the people that still do care, and want to do a good job.

You can be the answer.

Strive to be the employee and the co-worker that others really appreciate, and want to be around. You change your working environment for the better. You be the answer to the problems, not another problem.

Yes, most of us are going to have to work for a living. But you can make  a difference in how those hours are spent, and you can make them count for good. You can be a benefit to those around you.

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Marriage, Parenting 101

Another Anniversary

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When I was young, a wedding was a happy celebration for me. It was a day to dress up in a beautiful gown, have flowers overflowing every surface, and you walked down the aisle to your handsome husband-to-be. It was the most tremendous of happenings in a young girl’s life. And I looked forward to my wedding day with great expectation.

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When our first daughter was married almost eight years ago, it wasn’t a happy day for me. Yes, I know that is a rather blunt way to put it, and it seems a bit selfish, but that was the way I felt. I was losing my oldest daughter, and all the attributes she brought to our family circle…and I was depressed. That tiny baby I held at birth, and cherished, was no longer mine, she belonged to someone else.

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As I look at my husband in this picture, I see sadness on his face. And I know he was feeling many of the same emotions I was.

Fast forward a few years to our second daughter’s wedding. No, I wasn’t any more happy about it. I was sad and depressed. Again, a part of our family was once again changing, and it would never be the same. She was leaving us by choice, and that hurt.img_0539

I think the most difficult part of each wedding ceremony for me was watching my husband walk our daughters down the aisle, and then kiss her goodbye. It really symbolizes the ending of one way of life and the beginning of another.

Our third daughter is celebrating her first wedding anniversary today. Her wedding, one year ago was just as hard on the emotions. Even more poignant was the fact that she wore my wedding dress and veil. It was an honor, but flooded my mind with so many memories of my own wedding day. All those years shuffled away under the load of babies, jobs, bills, and responsibilities. Where had they all gone is such a hurry?

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When I was young, I never thought of weddings as being a sad day. I pretty much thought people were shedding tears of happiness. I didn’t understand all that was behind those tears…just as our daughters do not understand right now. And that’s how it should be.

Our three daughters, (we have one more to go), have all married wonderful young men. They have lives of their own now. Yes, it’s been very difficult to let go of each one, and I know I’m not successful at it most of the time. Those girls were MY babies not many years ago. I fed them, rocked them, and sang them to sleep at night. I dressed them up in matching clothes, and fixed their hair every morning. I was frustrated with them as teenagers, hoping they would leave home very quickly on many days over the years. But now they are no longer mine as they once were, and in reality, they never were really mine.

I was allowed a very short number of years in their life in my role as their mother. Yes, I’m still ‘Mom’ but not in the same way. It’s hard to let go, and it’s sad. I think I cry each time one of them celebrates another anniversary. But I am happy for them, proud of them, and thankful that they still choose to include me in their lives, sometimes almost on a daily basis. And someday they will understand. I pray that by the time that day arrives, I will have matured enough to hold them, and give comfort. That I will be able to tell them there is happiness in watching their children grow as men and women, husbands and wives, and fathers and mothers.

And that’s just as it should be.

Happy First Anniversary, Mitchel and Alyssa Lynn! You are loved!