Author: deborahanndykeman

Writing has always been a love of mine. Except for school reports! I didn't cherish those moments. I began with poems in grade school, and short little stories that I illustrated. I created something for each family celebration and probably wore my family out. But I graduated to a longer 'book' by the time I was 18. Following traditional romance novel writing, I pounded out a pretty cheesy story on a Royal typewriter I had found at a garage sale. You didn't worry about your nails when using one of those! When four of our five children were still young, I wrote my first full-length book back in 1998. I followed it with three more in that series. Those are my current WIP, needing many updates and editing. I'm happy to say as of this writing, the third in the Love Defined series is almost ready to be released! Currently, I have eleven published books. My husband and I have been married for forty-one years, and we have five children and nine grandchildren. I've been a homeschooling mom, Sunday school teacher, AWANA director and a pastor's wife. I've worked as a CNA and an Activity Director. A new love of mine is book cover designing! Stayed tuned for more on that. When I'm not busy writing...which I love, BTW, I'm working on home projects, marketing and attending events, where I love to meet you...my readers!
Writing

A Journey of Senses

deborahanndykeman

When you see this stone bridge, what thoughts and feelings come to mind? Where do you think it’s headed? Is the bridge itself welcoming or sinister with the gray rock and narrow path? Fall bridgeIt’s amazing what color and lighting, temperature and smell can do to transform our thoughts.

Picture in your mind this same setting in the winter. The frozen stream below, snow-covered path and charcoal gray branches shivering in the wind. If there is bright sunlight, the snow may sparkle as well as the sugared stream. You might want to investigate, breathe deeply of the cold, clean air as you crunch along.

Springtime would bring new leaves, swaying on their tender stems, sunlight shimmering on the gurgling water rushing through the stone arch. Maybe there would be flowers, painted here and there along the path. Birds would sing happily in the fresh air, joyous for the season ahead.

Summer would be bursting with dark greens, a canopy above as you meandered along the narrow bridge. You would stop at the highest point and observe the trickling, coolness below before continuing on your stroll.

Autumn has arrived. That is what has drawn me to this picture. The leaves scattered along the path, the water reflecting the colors in the sky. I can feel the cool breeze and smell the leaves and moist earth that only emanates in autumn.

The bridge is welcoming in all the scenarios described above. But let’s think of a very dark night and our thoughts change immediately. Maybe the bridge isn’t so welcoming anymore. You may not want to proceed down that narrow path. Each ‘splash’ in the black water or ‘crunch’ in the trees beyond may send you right out of that setting! Add a ‘dark and stormy’ night with the wind lashing at your head, branches crashing to the sodden ground…you get the ‘picture’.

Colors, lighting, temperature and smells play such a huge part in my daily life. They set the tone for so many things. I have purposely set up my entire yard to partake of all those items I just listed. Each season has its own set of the items. They are comforting to me in their familiarity and give me something to anticipate with the changing of each season. Without even knowing it, I think many of us are designed that way. Some of us just wallow in it more than others! Have a Happy Autumn!

Marriage

Happy Anniversary!

deborahanndykeman

Happy Anniversary, to my dear husband! Yes, it’s been 31 years today.October 20, 1984; George & Deborah Dykeman with Grandma McMillen & Auntie This picture shows my new husband and me after the wedding with my maternal grandmother and her sister, my great-aunt. Both have gone on to be with the Lord now. My grandmother was not able to make it to the wedding because of health issues, so we went upstairs to her room and had this picture taken. Both of these dear women are greatly missed in my life.

October 20, 1984 dawned bright and beautiful in upstate New York. The leaves were  hanging in there and some color was still visible. That day reached a high of 80 degrees, which is rather unusual for that area in the Catskill mountains. I had wanted a candlelight ceremony which was gorgeous and very special, but it also meant I had to wait the ENTIRE day to see my soon-to-be husband. I cautioned my three daughters on that very thing when they were planning their weddings. (Must have been the reason we had two early morning weddings!)

I remember I didn’t sleep much the night before and stayed up late washing my clothes to take with me and ironing them. The next day I couldn’t eat much and spent my time doing my nails, putting Nair on my face for that pesky, peach fuzz. That resulted in big, red splotches of color between my brows and on my upper lip. So of course I cautioned my daughters to not do that as well! It’s amazing what foundation can do! I had a flawless complexion by 5:30, the time of the ceremony. But…

My grandmother was staying with us, my mother caring for her in our home at the time. In the process of helping her in the bathroom, the toilet tank was broken. My grandmother’s room was above the living room. The reception was to be at the house. My mother had placed dishes of mints artistically around the room. You guessed it, the water, several gallons of it leaked through the ceiling and into the living room. Those mints were really pretty floating in their little dishes. So, my father, father of the bride, made a trip to town to purchase a toilet tank and spent the afternoon repairing the damage done.

Yes, we made it to the wedding on time, rinsed mints and all. (Yes, my father actually suggested this to my mother. But they were thrown out.) The sun was starting its descent, the last rays glowing brilliantly when the two doors were opened and my father and I walked into that little, white church in that New England town. There stood my future husband, tall and handsome at the front of the church. Thus began our years together.

I know celebrating 31 years is about ALL the years you have shared as a couple. I do remember and rejoice in those years as well. But my mind always goes back to that day in October, how young we were, how thin we were, how full of expectation and happiness for our future together. And that’s the way it should be. I love to think back on that day, all those emotions and relive them again. I pray I am able to do that until I am gone from this world. I keep our wedding pictures placed around our house…to remember where we started. To share that day with our children and now grandchildren…those people that God knew would share our lives someday but we were unaware of at the time.

Happy Anniversary, dear husband. Thank you for sharing the past 31 years with me, not always by my side, but in my soul and part of me. I look forward to many more. And you know what? It really does just keep getting better and better!

edited for facebook

Writing

A Rough and Rocky Road

deborahanndykeman

Yesterday, I received the printed version of my book to proof. I opened the box, unwrapped the brown paper around it…and there it was!

white 450x450Original Font Design

To Thee I'm Wed-2New Font Design I love!!! Thank you Julia!

I wrote, ‘To Thee I’m Wed’ in 2007. For eight years I have reread, rewritten and prayed about this book, wondering if it would ever be published.

Every writer pours much of themselves into their writing. We write from our experiences, our dreams, our heartaches and our laughter.

The same is for ‘To Thee I’m Wed’. In 1994, my husband and I traveled a very rough and rocky road for almost a year. It stemmed from many situations as trials and tribulations often do. Things don’t just ‘happen’. There is usually a cause and a reason behind it. People like my sister and a friend named Vicki were there for me. They talked at all hours of the day, supported, helped with our children and corrected my thinking where need be. Believe me…it needed correcting many times!

So, in 2007, after writing four other books, I wrote ‘To Thee I’m Wed’, elaborating, thinking about what ‘could have happened’. So yes, this book has much of ‘me’ in it.

I thank God for how He worked in my life especially during that time. He helped me to grow in ways I never thought possible. He helped us to turn our lives back around and focus on what really matters. We had another opportunity, something many people never get.

Unwrapping my book yesterday, was the culmination of so many difficult times in my life. It was tangible proof of going on after testing and tribulation. For me, that was pretty emotional and awesome! I pray that those reading ‘To Thee I’m Wed’ evaluate their own lives. Think of where you are in your spiritual growth, what marriage means, what kind of sacrifices you are willing to make so you don’t become another statistic. Sometimes the right decision isn’t the easy one.

A Day to Remember

A Time to Cherish

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Change. If you’ve been reading my posts lately, you know there is a theme going on here. Not planned, my writing rarely is. That probably shows on many levels to some people! For me, writing is a way to express myself, a time to reach within and bring out those thoughts, emotions and ideas I’m not always great at expressing. My writing is usually about what is going on in my life at a given time.

So, back to change. Maybe it’s the fall colors beginning to dance in the Kansas wind. Perhaps the cool breeze lifting the bedroom curtain each night. A recent wedding and an announcement of a new grandchild greeting the world this coming April. All the above are changes in my life, and changes cause me to reflect on what once was. Maybe it’s my OCD, but I go back to the beginning and set everything in tidy order. It gives me a chance to remember, to make adjustments in my way of viewing certain circumstances that have occurred. Hopefully I’ve matured along the way and the conclusions I come to now…sometimes years later, are more thought out, less congested with emotion…and much more appreciated.

So this morning, I’m remembering my siblings. I’m thinking back on what once was. Most of us have siblings. Most of us don’t appreciate them at the time…the years when we are growing to adulthood. But whether we want to accept it or not, those years shape us to a certain extent. We can grow older, move away, take different roads in our lives…but those years together are still there. Some could take this in a negative way if those growing up years were not the best, but I choose to remember mine with fondness. No, they were not perfect, but I venture to say most of us probably didn’t have perfection. That is not what matters…you had a relationship. This post is dedicated to my siblings, all younger than me since I was the oldest. (A little math for your early morning!)

Growing up, I was thankful, (yes, even at the time) for my siblings. My father worked for IBM and we moved a bit. During my teenage years, this was more frequent and for me, my home base was my safe zone. I could go home after a day at school, trying to adjust to all the new faces and classes and find comfort in the familiarity of my family and my surroundings. With all the moves, my mother was excellent at setting up a house and making it homey. It was my refuge. My siblings were always there, a sure thing in an upside down world. When I didn’t have friends at school or in the neighborhood because we were ‘new’, I could always play, talk and be with my siblings. Even if it was the same-old bickering about silly little things, it was MY family.

The memories for me come in bits and pieces. A certain smell in the air, a laugh or a mannerism our daughters share that is so like my sister. Flowers make me think of my brother, Kreston and his artistic talents in so many areas. Curly hair always reminds me of my sister, Jennifer and the blonde curls springing from her head when she was a child. And it makes me smile. My youngest brother, Todd…where there is a will, there is a way and he ALWAYS found a way! Fair time brings to mind all those August days in upstate New York. I was pretty much doing my own thing and then married by the time my family was showing horses, but I remember those days well. All the holidays we shared, the games we played on those days and the great food…especially a certain pie my brother ‘enjoyed’ all on his own!

These are times and relationships that have helped to shape me into what I am today. And even though my siblings may never see this post, I pray they know and understand what they mean to me…the part they have played in my life. I wish all of you happy memories to take out and savor. I pray these memories for my own children and caution them to protect their relationship among the five of them. You may move, develop different opinions, but the relationship and the closeness you once had can be cherished. And if possible, it can continue.

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Our Christian Walk

To Everything There Is a Season

deborahanndykeman

So many changes over the past year! Some good, some bad, here an easy road, then a long hill to climb. Happy, joyous moments and mournful, weepy hours. I know it’s been the same for you. We call this ‘life’ and we all have one.

To Everything There Is a Season, is a song performed by the Byrds and others. You can follow the link here and have the song going through your head as you finish this post, just as it has gone through mine as I have written it.

https://youtu.be/pKP4cfU28vM

That link will also give you more information about the song. No copyright infringement intended.

The song was taken from the book of Ecclesiastes chapter three verses one through eight. (3:1-8) Chapter one says, ‘The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.’ (KJV) King Solomon was the son of David. Wise words to remember as we live this life.

So as I look back over the past year, the struggles I’ve had physically, our son’s surgeries, two new people of importance in our children’s lives and the passing of my husband’s mother…there have been a lot of changes. It has been a season of adjustments and challenges.

It has also been a season of great joy and abundant blessing and that is what I want to concentrate on and revel in. Our son has healed wonderfully after each surgery and he has a very special woman in his life to help bear that burden. My husband’s mother had a long life, filled with children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She is now with the Lord. Our third daughter married and we now have another wonderful addition to our family and they are on the exciting road of building a life together. So many changes, but each had a purpose.

As I feel the cool change in the wind and see the colors changing in my garden, I know a new season is upon us. This month my husband and I will celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary…and then we begin another year. We don’t know now everything that will unfold, but we can be assured that change will happen…to everything there is a season. I am so happy that God planned it that way! It makes life so much more interesting! Enjoy and learn from the season you are in.

A Day to Remember

Such a Beautiful Day for a Wedding!

deborahanndykeman

Weddings and the day a baby is born are beautiful experiences for me and I’m sure many others as well.

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Our third daughter married a wonderful young man on September 19th. And it was a beautiful day. Not just the perfect weather, which was a blessing, but the blending of two families as this young couple begin their own life together. The above picture is with the parents of the bride and groom. The video you can link to below is from the photographer and friend of the bride and groom. I’m sure you would agree that she did a fantastic job. So, a tribute to our third daughter and her new husband, our third son-in-law. May God bless you with many, many wonderful and joyous years together. With much love…

http://www.alannasingerphotography.com/#!alyssa-and-mitchel/if5xn

Writing

The Secret to a Powerful Author Brand

deborahanndykeman

Wow! I read this post and was just so excited! It answered so many questions I’ve had about my platform and my author brand. So of course I had to share it on here! For those of you that are not writers, you probably won’t care too much, but I know there are several that would love to read this. You should check out her blog…lots of great information on there. Here it is:

I studied the neuroscience behind branding. What made content go viral? Was there something about content that the human brain reacted to positively or negatively? Was all content equal?

Source: The Secret to a Powerful Author Brand

A Day to Remember

With Honor and Integrity, a job well done

deborahanndykeman

Well, it has finally happened. Tonight, on my way home from work, I was pulled over by a policeman for speeding. This has certainly been an area of pride for me…never having been stopped  for anything in 35 years of driving. That doesn’t mean I haven’t deserved it in all those years, just never been caught.

police carI was in an area that I am usually very careful in. I was thinking of other things as we all do when we drive. I happened to glance down and saw I was going a little more than I should be, you know how it creeps up on you? Just as I did that, I saw the black and white SUV, sandwiched between two other cars. I glanced at my speed again and corrected it, not really thinking of it again until I heard the siren. My first thought was how I was going to pull over for the emergency vehicle on the rather unsafe road. Then I saw the lights of the same SUV. I knew it had finally happened.

police

I slowed down and pulled over as soon as I could, and pushed the ‘down’ button for my window. A very nice man cautiously approached my vehicle and I gave him a smile. When he said I had been going a little fast, I nodded and admitted that I had. Then he said he would need to see my license and proof of insurance. That was the bad part.

My husband has told me over and over that I shouldn’t put my purse in the trunk in case I get pulled over. He said my license needed to stay with me. What does he know? He only holds a CDL and has driven a few hundred thousand miles in his career. So, I politely told the policeman, (with a smile of course) that my purse was in the trunk. He said I could step out and get it and then he moved away from my car. I told him he could get it if he wanted to. I think of that now and shake my head. Every blonde hair on my head is standing at attention. But all I could think of was that you are not to get out of your car when stopped. He told me it was fine and he followed me to the trunk while I explained, very politely of course, that my husband had warned me to not put it there. The policeman said it was probably the safest place after all.

I went back to my car and found my insurance and registration while the policeman looked up my information. Probably pretty boring!  I talked with my eleven year old and explained why I had been stopped. When he cautiously approached my vehicle again, he gave me my license and said he was giving me a warning to slow down and drive safely and told me to have a good day. I wished him the same.

This 50th year for me has been a difficult one. I wouldn’t want to live it again. So many changes, so many hard times. Now I can add my first ‘being pulled over by a policeman’ to the list! Someday I will look back on the year and see the growth in my life and the need for the things that have happened. Right now, I just feel buried.

All that said…I thought I would be in a panic when I was pulled over. Probably cry out of sheer terror, not trying to save myself from a ticket as I’ve heard women admit to. But I was strangely calm, panic free and just waiting to see what was in store. Thank you God, for your peace!

What stands out in my mind from this newest experience is the job these men and women do on a daily basis. That is why I wanted to write and share this post. As the policeman approached my car, he was cautious, almost hesitant and I felt badly for that. I would not want to be that person walking up to the vehicle. You would not know what to expect. Today, it was an older woman caught daydreaming. Tomorrow it could be a criminal or someone on drugs that pulls out a gun. We live in a scary, angry world.

police badge

I have two son-in-laws that happen to be brothers that would like to be policeman. I keep telling them they are crazy. But I also admire them and those that do have this job. It needs to be done and it needs to be done with honor and integrity on their part, respect on ours. So, this is a big thank you to all those out there doing this job everyday. And a ‘thank you’ to the one that stopped me tonight and reminded me very nicely of what my responsibility was. I pray you have a good day also.

Our Christian Walk

Churches that Start in the Wrong Place (or Stop Trying to be like the Early Church)

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Source: Churches that Start in the Wrong Place (or Stop Trying to be like the Early Church)

Again, this post says it much better than I, so I wanted to share it with you. Gives you some food for thought. What kind of church do you attend?

Our Christian Walk

We all need a little Tigger in our lives.

deborahanndykeman

friends clipart.gif 2 It’s a Saturday morning, so it’s time for cartoons. How many of you were part of the generation that looked forward to this cherished time? No school, so you woke up early…even though you couldn’t the rest of the week. You crept quietly to where your television set was located, not wanting to wake your parents. Then you were in cartoon heaven for a few short minutes/hours until the sun came up and morning routine of dressing and breakfast began. Those years didn’t last very long for me, but I remember them well. No, Winnie the Pooh wasn’t one that was one the cartoon line-up then, but he’s just a cute little guy so I wanted to include him here. And after all…he’s a great friend! Just ask Tigger.

What’s a great friend for you? We all have a set of criteria in our minds for a true friendship. For me a list would include someone to talk to about ANYTHING. Someone that supports my endeavors, my dreams even if they don’t have those same ones. (No, I’m not asking anyone to jump out of a plane with me, but they should certainly be watching if I do!) Someone that encourages through difficult times and celebrates with the good ones. Someone that cares about me and wants to share my life, whatever that may entail.friends clipart

Am I that kind of friend? Do I fit the criteria that I require of someone else? Do I REALLY care if a friend is having a bad day, if they need to talk? Do I listen even though the topic is not my favorite? Am I there for the important times in their life, even if it means standing on the solid ground watching them jump from a plane? Do I truly have a desire to be part of their life and share in the ups and downs?

Examine these questions. Apply them to the people in your life that you call friends. For many of us, that group may be a select few. I’ve always said you can have many acquaintances in life. People you can enjoy being with, have fun for a time. But I think the people that meet the criteria for a true friend are much harder to find.

For me, I think that’s a good thing. I know I can’t even begin to be a true friend to hundreds of people. It would be an exhausting proposition for any of us. I can pray for many people. I can and do pray for needs of others, our country, encouragement when I know someone is burdened. I rejoice when I know a need has been met.

But a TRUE friend? I have several that come to mind. Those that have seen me through hard times and good. Those that have encouraged me, talked with me, given of their time when I know they have had better things to do. Those that have shown support in little ways, often not seen by others. I pray I have been and will be that person for others. friends-clipart 3

As a Believer, my friendship criteria comes from my relationship with God. Jesus Christ sets the standard and of course it’s a great one. If I apply what He has done for me in my relationship with others, I will be a true friend. Those ‘acquaintances’ will benefit as well. ‘What a Friend We Have in Jesus’ is an old hymn, but it has some great words to live by. You should ‘check it out’ sometime. Remember it the next time you’re sitting on a log with a group of your friends. Thank God for those people in your life that make this road we travel a little easier to bear at times and just down right fun as well. Have a great Saturday!