Change. If you’ve been reading my posts lately, you know there is a theme going on here. Not planned, my writing rarely is. That probably shows on many levels to some people! For me, writing is a way to express myself, a time to reach within and bring out those thoughts, emotions and ideas I’m not always great at expressing. My writing is usually about what is going on in my life at a given time.
So, back to change. Maybe it’s the fall colors beginning to dance in the Kansas wind. Perhaps the cool breeze lifting the bedroom curtain each night. A recent wedding and an announcement of a new grandchild greeting the world this coming April. All the above are changes in my life, and changes cause me to reflect on what once was. Maybe it’s my OCD, but I go back to the beginning and set everything in tidy order. It gives me a chance to remember, to make adjustments in my way of viewing certain circumstances that have occurred. Hopefully I’ve matured along the way and the conclusions I come to now…sometimes years later, are more thought out, less congested with emotion…and much more appreciated.
So this morning, I’m remembering my siblings. I’m thinking back on what once was. Most of us have siblings. Most of us don’t appreciate them at the time…the years when we are growing to adulthood. But whether we want to accept it or not, those years shape us to a certain extent. We can grow older, move away, take different roads in our lives…but those years together are still there. Some could take this in a negative way if those growing up years were not the best, but I choose to remember mine with fondness. No, they were not perfect, but I venture to say most of us probably didn’t have perfection. That is not what matters…you had a relationship. This post is dedicated to my siblings, all younger than me since I was the oldest. (A little math for your early morning!)
Growing up, I was thankful, (yes, even at the time) for my siblings. My father worked for IBM and we moved a bit. During my teenage years, this was more frequent and for me, my home base was my safe zone. I could go home after a day at school, trying to adjust to all the new faces and classes and find comfort in the familiarity of my family and my surroundings. With all the moves, my mother was excellent at setting up a house and making it homey. It was my refuge. My siblings were always there, a sure thing in an upside down world. When I didn’t have friends at school or in the neighborhood because we were ‘new’, I could always play, talk and be with my siblings. Even if it was the same-old bickering about silly little things, it was MY family.
The memories for me come in bits and pieces. A certain smell in the air, a laugh or a mannerism our daughters share that is so like my sister. Flowers make me think of my brother, Kreston and his artistic talents in so many areas. Curly hair always reminds me of my sister, Jennifer and the blonde curls springing from her head when she was a child. And it makes me smile. My youngest brother, Todd…where there is a will, there is a way and he ALWAYS found a way! Fair time brings to mind all those August days in upstate New York. I was pretty much doing my own thing and then married by the time my family was showing horses, but I remember those days well. All the holidays we shared, the games we played on those days and the great food…especially a certain pie my brother ‘enjoyed’ all on his own!
These are times and relationships that have helped to shape me into what I am today. And even though my siblings may never see this post, I pray they know and understand what they mean to me…the part they have played in my life. I wish all of you happy memories to take out and savor. I pray these memories for my own children and caution them to protect their relationship among the five of them. You may move, develop different opinions, but the relationship and the closeness you once had can be cherished. And if possible, it can continue.