Heartbreak knows no color Violence has no shame. Hate is only destroyed by perfect love. Perfect love casts out all fear. Justice belongs to He who saves.  “The Son of Man came to save t…

Source: The Color of Heartbreak 

You may remember them from back in the day: the framed wall décor – crafted by needlepoint or cross stitch or calligraphy – proclaiming Home is Where the Heart is. The saying was usually flanked by tiny houses and hearts in a country blue setting. I may have made one or two of them myself. […]

via Where the Heart is — A Fierce Quest

Last week I had posted on my struggles with posting. Not about the ability to, but the content and the quality. Sometimes it is difficult to share our innermost thoughts and emotions. Doing so strips us of our coverings of pride and faith in our selves and our abilities. It leaves us open and bare for more hurt.

Writers, in my opinion, use writing in whatever genre, whatever mode, to express this. Some writers are very open and lay it all out there. Others, not so much, or they may step out and view it from afar, thus avoiding the pain or the opening of a wound.

This would be especially true in the case of abuse, whether it be emotional or physical, or a combination of both.

Such is the story line for my third book in the ‘Rubyville’ series, A Place to Heal.

All authors write what they know to a very large extent. Yes, you can research and write a very good story. But there is something about having lived it that always comes through to the reader, whether they know it or not. My third book in this series deals with spousal abuse. I pray that I dealt with it appropriately, without slogging through too much. Sometimes less is more.

No, in my husband’s defense, he has never been abusive. He has always been loving and kind, quiet and reserved. Just what I needed after having dated someone that was abusive. That time period in my life was very difficult and disastrous to my entire family because we were all young, and trusting. Damage was done that we’ve all lived with for thirty plus years. Some of us have had therapy, and that helped in certain areas. But we all still have to live with it.

Last week, I heard that this person had passed away. Very young in my opinion, had lived many years, very sick. Did it free me? I always thought it would. But it did not in my case. For many years ago, I made the decision that what had happened would not destroy me or my life. That was when I was free. That doesn’t mean that there weren’t days, weeks or months of struggles trying to live with my damaged soul. It means I wanted to go on from that time period. I feel very sad for that person, dying so young, but he had decisions to make and opportunities as well.

I pray my third story shows that you can make changes in your life. Abuse on any level doesn’t have to destroy you. I fully believe that we can decide how we live our lives. We can rise each day and be bitter, thinking about the past or even present and wallow in that hurt. Or we can make a change. No, it doesn’t usually happen immediately and there is usually fall-out. But you can start down the right path at any time. It is up to you.

I have chosen to live my life with God’s direction. Yes, He allows terrible things to happen in our lives. The book of Job is an extremely good example of this. Know, I don’t understand why He allows this. I don’t understand why the events that took place over thirty years ago were allowed in my Christian family. But they did happen. I personally feel that they made me stronger…but that has taken many years.

The biggest take-away from this is: It’s not the events themselves. It is what we do to handle those events and our attitude toward them. We choose what steps to take in our lives…all of us do. What is your choice for today?

Wow…think about that for a moment. “Our actions and decisions today will shape the way we will be living in the future.” 

A pastor of a church I attended when I was a teenager, really impacted my life. One of the many things he said was that, “bad decisions close down your options for future good decisions.” Now that is not to say that you no longer have an opportunity to make a good decision, just that your options are different than they would have been, and maybe you don’t have so many to choose from any longer.

For example, if you are a ballet dancer and you choose to go sky-diving and you don’t land correctly, causing you to lose the use of your legs…your ballet future is impacted. The scenarios are endless. That ballet dancer may go on to do just as fantastic in some other area…but dancing probably won’t be the option it use to be.

This is a lesson I tried to teach our children…and I think it is a lesson that almost always has to be learned, ‘hands on’. Going through something, reaping the discipline or rewards helps that experience solidify in your brain. It begins when we are very young. A parent tells a child, “Don’t touch the stove, the burner is hot.” Very rarely will that child process in their mind, “Oh, Mommy spoke and I will obey.” They usually have to give it a try. Hopefully, as that child racks up some experiences, they will learn to listen when spoken to. When they hit the age of thirteen…it begins again…only on a different level.

It boils down to being very cautious about the decisions you make in your life. No, we shouldn’t tread in fear, always wondering if we are going to mess up our future. But we should learn from our past mistakes…touching the stove when told not to and getting burned. It you want to be a prima ballerina, maybe jumping out of airplanes isn’t such a great idea for you.

There is a second stage to this process of thinking. It is why I use Psalm 118:24 on this blog and why I think about it each and every day. We ALL make bad decisions. We have ALL touched the stove when told not to. Most of us have had another opportunity to try again. I very firmly believe, that as long as you are on this earth…you have another chance. If you jumped out of that plane, you may not be a prima ballerina, but you could be something else just as grand…an inspiration to others.

And no, I don’t believe this is all just by chance. There is a plan. God has designed it…and it works extremely well. He is far more forgiving, offering many more chances than I would ever allow if I was in charge! He guides and directs our lives, if we care to listen. Yes, sometimes discipline is in order and many times there are rewards. Almost always, that discipline is far less than what I would have handed out if it would have been up to me! God is gracious, merciful and loving…just as we should be as parents. He is also just and righteous, disciplining when needed…just as we should as parents. The difference is that He is far more fair…He is God.

“Our actions and decisions today will shape the way we will be living in the future.”  Have you accepted Christ as your Savior? Do you know where you will go when your physical body dies? These are the two most important questions of all…and they will most definitely shape your future.

I think I have always been an old soul. I never felt as though I really fit into my generation. I generally gravitated toward people that were older than me. When I was a child, I was much more comfortable talking with older people. I would spend hours sitting on a front porch or in a living room, just asking questions to keep that person talking about life, ‘way back when’. 

Old movies were a favorite and I read biographies, or I should say absorbed books about people. I read anything I could get my hands on about people’s lives and history. I even spent my lunch hours in high school in the library…just so I could have more time to read. Was I a geek? Or whatever that kind of a person is called these days. No, I really don’t think so. I did manage to stay involved in the life around me…but maybe that is a question better left for those I interacted with!

History and people have always fascinated me. I would love to just be plunked down in a small, abandoned town, and then ‘see’ it as it was 50, 75, or 100 years ago. I wish I could put that on a bucket list! I would make it happen. I’m not even that particular about what section of history I would like to adventure into. Any one would do.

When I became a nurses aid for the first time, when I was 19 years old, 30+ years ago, I absolutely loved it. I had found my little comfy corner. What better job than to be able to help the elderly, and then talk with them about their experiences! I met so many wonderful, interesting people that shared their memories with me. It was a privilege to be a part of that last little section of their lives!

I talked with a feisty, tiny, woman from London. She had spent her teenage years as a prostitute on the docks, at the turn of the century. She had language to go along with it! The stories she could tell! She married an older man when she was 19, and they moved to America shortly after. She had a family, was married and had a ‘proper’ life.

One man had made hand brakes for the President’s car. Another woman was 104, that summer of 1984. Can you imagine the sights she had seen? I relished the conversations I had with her! I can still remember what she looked like and her name. Again, it was a privilege to be a very small part of her life. I learned to shave whiskers with a straight razor and how to sharpen it on a leather strap.I am still amazed that the man trusted me enough to have me do it! So many wonderful memories from the year before I married.

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So now, I have started working as a C.N.A. again, just part time, in the evenings. I worked at the same location a couple of years ago. But I worked the night shift for that year. I didn’t have the opportunity to talk very much with the residents.

I am excited to get to know the people there, and hear their stories. Although the age difference isn’t such a big gap anymore! I can actually remember some of the same things! It will take a bit of adjusting to get used to that one.

Please remember our older generation. They have a wealth of information unique to them. Take the time to chat and be interested in who they are. Someday…we will all be there. I want someone to care about me, and listen to my stories

There comes a time in all our lives when we have to tackle that dreaded, never-ending problem of losing weight and getting in shape. If you are one of those that has never been in that situation…I am happy for you, but I honestly don’t have any understanding of that! So this post is for those of us that are struggling…and it really hits this time of year…spring. Not only are the flowers in bloom, but the weather is warmer and we want to be outside, not wear bulky clothes, ride a bike, swim, and just have fun in the sun. And of course shedding that winter skin usually involves shedding a few pounds…or a lot, whatever your situation is.

The biggest temptation for me is…chocolate, and probably ice cream. But chocolate beckons with its velvety appearance and the mind remembers that glorious taste and texture. Believe me…gathering the pictures for this post was pretty daunting. But so far I have only looked and not touched.

Yes, I do miss chocolate…very much…but I know it is for the best. The priorities in my life have become more about the long-term benefits of health and the wonderful ability to spend time with grandchildren…without puffing like a freight train. The satisfaction of chocolate doesn’t seem to be as fulfilling as it once was. The call of biking through a canopy of trees on a smooth road on a spring day seems much more enjoyable. And someday, maybe even the swimsuit will be able to come out of the moth balls!

Am I doing this all on my own? No, I have several family members that are being tortured as well. I guess misery loves company, or something like that! But a verse that comes to mind over and over is:

Philippians 4:13  (NASB)

¹³ I can do all things ^[a]through Him who strengthens me.

This verse is short and sweet and says a mouthful. Rather like chocolate for the soul!

That moment when you are so very thankful for all that you have. Life is hard. We struggled with relationships, parenting, finances, friends, and all the ‘stuff’ we are supposed to do to be a ‘good’ person.

Set it all aside for a moment…and just BE. Be happy for those relationships, those people that tolerate you, and love you no matter what. Be thankful for your children, know matter how discouraging and trying they may act at times. Be thankful for your employment and those co-workers that drive you crazy. Be thankful for friends that help to bear your burdens, and keep you accountable. Concentrate on those things in your life and quit striving for the bigger and better…continually. Be content.

If we abide in Him, life isn’t such a struggle anymore.