Category: Our Christian Walk

Our Christian Walk

Hope In Something More

deborahanndykeman

Are you having a rough day? Maybe a few days? What about days stacked upon one another, tumbling into weeks and months?

Life on this earth can be like that at times, whether it’s one day, or even a couple years. And we’ve all heard it before, usually when life really stinks for awhile. Standing beside a loved one’s hospital bed, or during a funeral service for a person dear to us. “This is only for a season, this too shall pass. Life will get better.”

And it will.

This post is more for those Believers out there. Of course I wish that all would read it, all are most welcome to read it. But if you are not saved, you are without hope in your future, and I cannot even imagine what that would feel like. I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was nine years old, and I’ve always had the assurance that no matter how rotten this life becomes, my hope is in heaven. And that’s huge for me! I pray and wish that for all. Without that, this life is a dead end, a road traveling to nowhere. The journey is difficult, bumpy and lousy at times, and without God, without the salvation Christ has provided, there is no hope.

My life has not been a walk in the park as a Believer, and God did not mean it to be. The things that we put time into and struggle with, we appreciate more at the conclusion. Just as we trim and prune our rose bushes and shrubs to guide them into something spectacular, God works on us in the same way. After our pruning, which really hurts at times, we are better on the inside.

Listen to the words of this song. We’ve all been there. Whatever our struggles are…physical, financial, emotional, and many times all at once until we feel as though we want to curl up and die. We are stronger than we think, the sun will rise in the morning and we can begin again…and again. Just keep taking one step, then another. Breathe deeply, and then once more. God is there, and He has a plan, and it’s for your good. Trust in that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjF9IqvXDjY

Our Christian Walk

Live Your Life Well

deborahanndykeman

Our oldest daughter shared this song with me just a few minutes ago. It has a great beat and it makes you happy, but the words are what draw you in. Here’s a message from the song writer about the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS5CtTVoZoU

He said it well, and my reply to the Facebook share was this: And when you look back over the years…it’s even better than you imagined. Even with all the ‘yuck’ moments. 

Life is good! And you can live your dreams. Don’t spend so much time looking back on ‘what was’. Look to now, this moment, and ‘what is’. Here’s the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oK6IfY-gE8

Life is Real…and so are the Answers. Live your life well. Thank you Downhere for a fantastic song!

Our Christian Walk

Simple Pleasures

deborahanndykeman

I absolutely love receiving pleasure from the very simple things in life!

It’s a reminder that you don’t need a lot of money to be happy. Your house doesn’t have to be enormous or in an exclusive neighborhood. The car you drive needs to be serviceable, or even a sturdy bike will do to get you from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’. And most people have two great feet that will do the job. The climate in your part of the world doesn’t have to be perfect. Contentment in…wherever you live, wherever you’re at, however you look, and how much money you make is where it’s at.

Today, I wanted to concentrate on those simple pleasures. The things in my life that give me comfort,  make me smile, and make a day that’s not going so well, just a little better. I hope they make you smile as well.

Watching the birds at my back door. Hedges planted just for them, so they would be safe and have a home for their families. I’ve now been rewarded with six pairs of cardinals, and they give me great joy.

The hummingbirds that return every summer. They sneak up, hovering over my flowers, pausing for a short visit in their busy lives.

Beautiful scenery of the seasons. The photos and pictures that take my breath away. And no, I didn’t include winter. That may not make some of you smile! But you can look forward to spring.

Simple houses in country settings. A place that I would like to one day live. If it was beside water, even better!

Landscapes that cause you to just say, “Wow!” There are so many of those. Beauty can be seen any place in the world, no matter if it’s a forest, field, mountain, river, ocean, desert or sky view. Just take a moment to visually enjoy what the photographer, or painter has seen.

Sitting beside my little fireplace, whether reading or watching a movie. It’s extra special if my husband is there with me.

The smell of coffee brewing, sunny pictures, and cute animals always make me smile. My husband took the picture of the butterfly.

Our cat when she was a kitten. She loved this little ‘chair’.

And of course, my family brings me great joy. A husband to share my life with, children, their spouses and grandchildren that make it all worth while.

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We  all have these simple pleasures in our lives. Take time to seek them out, relish the feel of them, smile at all that you have accomplished. It makes your heart swell with joy…and that’s what life is about.

Our Christian Walk

Assessment Power

deborahanndykeman

Do you remember those bar graphs in school? We all had to learn different ways to monitor progress for a variety of items. I liked the pie charts and bar graphs because they were colorful and made more sense to me. I should say again that they were colorful. Any time I could bring in some creative, artistic stuff into school work, I was great with that!

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Many of you that use WordPress know that there is a bar graph showing how many people visit your site. (I guess they are people, I’m hoping they are people!) There is also a cute little map showing where the people are from. I find this highly addicting. Every day I’m drawn to see what the bar graph is showing and what parts of the country have made a visit. “Wow! Someone in Ireland checked out my blog!” That is very exciting for me and a real honor. I always think it’s pretty neat when someone reads something I’ve written. I guess I’m just new enough to this that it still thrills me.

But unfortunately, I’m still human as well. And I notice that when I don’t post for a few days, those cute, little, blue bars get shorter and shorter. And that’s depressing.

We all know and understand that marketing and promoting is very difficult in any area. So difficult that some people have gone to school just for that and they are hired at companies to do only that job. And some make a lot of money doing it. So when you’re trying to market and promote yourself, it’s like racing across a frozen lake in April, just trying to stay ahead of the breaking, disintegrating ice.

Why do we as humans focus so much on what people think? Why are we constantly striving for that reward, acknowledgement, or tall blue line? A friend of mine commented the other night while we were giving a book talk in our little town. She was referring to Facebook and what a draw it it to see who has liked something, or commented. She said it was like receiving candy. And it is! It’s another boost to our over-sugared egos. And we want more and more.

Do we function in such a manner because of our feelings of inadequacy? Is any little positive comment, or pat on our back a reason to celebrate and change the course of our day? And then the reverse be true if someone kicks us in the gut, or tears us down verbally? I would hope not, but I know it to be a fact in my own life. As I’ve aged, the jabs don’t hurt as much as they once did. My skin is a little tougher. But the positive feedback means even more to me.

We are human, and we were created with a soul and emotions. We were designed to be loved and needed. The mean words and actions from others cut deeply. The rewards and encouraging words do make our day, and I’m glad for it. There was a time in my life when those feelings were numb, and I don’t want to go through life in that manner. I want to feel the highs and the lows, the crushing hurt and the exhilaration. It’s what makes this life exciting. The hard times make us appreciate the easy ones. Just as a runner would enjoy a cool drink, a shower and a soft chair after a race, we revel in a time of peace and happiness.

So, I’ll continue to check the little, blue bars on here. I’ll be excited when I see another country check in that I haven’t heard from yet. If the bars are low, it will encourage me to post again. It’s just another way to evaluate my progress and see what I need to be doing. What do you think? (Because I really need to know if you liked this post!)

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Our Christian Walk

“I Know the Plans I Have”

deborahanndykeman

Anyone over the age of about thirteen can look back on this year and say, “Wow!”

It didn’t really matter if you were Republican or Democrat, rich or poor, owned a home or rented, had children or not, etc. I think we can all agree that it was a rough ride in many ways.

Every year I see something in the news about the people we lost over the past year. This year has been especially shocking to me. I don’t know if I’m just getting older, so I’m aware of more people, and have followed them over their careers. Maybe it’s more of a surprise because so many have been young…around my age. And yes, that’s young to me. To only reach your fifties or not even…half your life in the way I look at it.

And of course I always wonder what their belief system was. For me, to think that a person did not know Christ as their Savior before their death is scary and sad.

So many celebrities had it all while they lived their lives on this earth. So very many had tumultuous lives. It seems to me that they were searching for that perfect combination, that balm to the soul and all the money and fans could not appease that hunger.

That is not to say that if you accept Christ as your Savior your life is monetarily successful. That you have all that this world deems important and affluent. And I have had people say, “Then why bother? I’m fine on my own.”

But are we?

I like to have a plan, a goal, and know what’s ahead to some extent. No, you can’t know everything and life is full of surprises. Some wonderful and rocking our world, others not so much. At times those unexpected little things are just down right depressing and pretty formidable. But for me, wondering about where I would go after I’m no longer here on this earth would be unacceptable. I want to know and be sure. And I think most people do.

Because God created us that way. He created us to need other people for encouragement, support, accountability and love. He gave us a desire to have others in our lives. He designed us with emotions, feelings, taste and a decision-making process…for a reason. It was planned.

And for me, a plan is pretty fantastic. I want to know what’s ahead, and what I’m expected to do. And you can.

I look back on 2016 and think, “Wow!” But I look back on my entire last 52 years on this earth and can say the same. It’s been a pretty exciting ride, most of the time. Looking to the future of 2017 is a bit scary. There are many unanswered questions. And I don’t like that. But faith is where it’s at. I know God has a plan, and I’m part of that plan, and He’s the ultimate planner.

Jeremiah 29:11 King James Version (KJV)

11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Jeremiah 29:11 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

11 For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

Tomorrow is the last day of the year 2016. The year has flown by, many changes have occurred over the past twelve months. We know, take by faith, that the sun will set tonight and rise again in the morning. Time is short, for all of us. None of us know how long we will be here. Make the most of the time you have, make the best decision of your life. Accepting Christ as your Savior, is a plan you can be sure of. And it sure beats having no clue! hourglass-1703330_1920

Start the New Year with a clean slate. Decide to live your life differently. Each day we are given affords that opportunity. If you are saved, make 2017 the year you put your Christian walk first in your life. That will be my goal.

John 3:16 King James Version (KJV)

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

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Our Christian Walk

Don’t Be so Hard on Yourself!

deborahanndykeman

For some reason, a commercial I remembered from my childhood started floating through my brain sometime during the night. I do know the reason why, but I want this to be a happy post! So I won’t go into the details of why that particular commercial sprang back to life.

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“I can bring home the bacon, and fry it up in the pan…” were some of the lyrics. It was advertising the perfume, Enjoli. I don’t even know if the perfume is still available. The commercial I was thinking of was from 1978, and they remade it 1980. So sales must have been really great and it worked. It worked for me enough to remember the jingle! The part I didn’t understand at fourteen was bringing home the bacon and making it! I thought that was pretty much crazy. Why would you want to do both? Of course the goal of the commercial was to show that you could do everything as a woman… look gorgeous, and smell fantastic while doing it all! And that was a big deal back in the 1970’s.

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I must confess, and I really don’t want to get on anyone’s bad side. But I don’t want to do it all in any area of my life! Each of us has talents, gifts, and things that we are good at, and other items that aren’t so wonderful. I love to learn new things, and I’m happy that I’m pretty self-sufficient in most areas, but I don’t want to do it all.

I believe that God designed us to work well together. Each individual has areas of strength and weakness. And when we are functioning together, those talents, gifts, and areas all fit, just like the cogs on a wheel. When we apply patience and love toward those around us and not focus on the bad…life can be wonderful.

Do I apply what I just said? No! But I have applied it enough times in my life that I know it does work. And there are days when I need a kick-in-the-pants as well!

I’m perfectly happy to let someone else earn the money for the bacon while I fry it up. And I don’t mind purchasing it while someone else cooks it and does the dishes. But I would really prefer not to do it all. The same goes while I’m at work, attending church, raising my children, etc. Each of us needs to be a part of a whole.

Are women able to manage, multi-task, work hard at work and at home? Are they able to raise children, run a business, bake Thanksgiving dinner, or run the country? Yes! But what’s wrong with concentrating on just a few things rather than being fantastic at everything, and feeling lousy when you fail in some area?

Just do what God has designed you to do as a person. And do it well. Only you know what that is. Don’t let others guilt you into doing it all! Let others do their part…share the load.

If you want to be a stay-at-home mother, and you are able to, do it! You are raising the next generation. Take your job seriously and don’t feel small. Pass on the extremely important information those children need in so many areas. Teach them how to survive in this life, equip them in all areas. If you are working, be a hard worker and do your job well. Be an asset to others around you. Encourage others to use their talents and be part of that wheel.

Jump off the treadmill we call life, and live your life. Share it with others, be a part of the whole. We only have one shot at this. You make it want you want it to be.

 

Our Christian Walk

Life is Real

deborahanndykeman

Life is Real…and so are the Answers. I use this on my blog and my business cards, my Facebook page and group, and just about anything I can. Because it is extremely important to me. Those words communicate a lot as to the way I live my life. And I hope they do to you as well.

As you all know, I am a Christian. I have accepted Christ as my Savior. I did so when I was very young, around nine years old on the way home from church. Suddenly, on that bright Colorado morning, everything just clicked for me. It finally all made sense, it added up and it was right.

Did I go on to live a perfect life? No mistakes, smooth sailing? NO! Because I was saved so young, I really do think that at times, I took it for granted. It was just always there. I took God’s grace to an extreme. I’ve often admired those people that I know that have been saved when they were adults. At times I feel they appreciate it more. They understand a bit more about the sacrifices that have been made for them.

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Life is Real. Even as a Believer, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve doubted my faith at times, and I have not lived the life that God would have liked. But He has allowed me to live it the way I’ve chosen, just as He does with all of us. I’ve made bad decisions…really bad decisions. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I’ve had the wrong priorities in my Christian walk and I’ve even yelled at my husband and children. I’ve not been the perfect parent at times and I’ve really messed up the wife role on more than a few occasions. Life is Real for me.

There are answers for every situation in life. Often times we don’t want to hear them. And even if we do listen, we don’t want to think we have that problem. We don’t want to apply God’s Word to what is happening. Because sometimes it’s just not fun to do what’s right. Many times it’s a struggle, it hurts our pride, or keeps us on the ‘straight and narrow’ when we really want to just ramble wherever. I know, I’ve been there!

When I write, I write from my soul. That’s not odd or different, I’m sure most writers do. But I address problems that have been part of my life…my Christian life. And at times it’s not very pretty. The answers that I give in my books, are real answers. They aren’t what someone wants to hear, or some smooth words to ease the hurt. Because at times, we all need a little kick in the pants. The answers that I give are not always the ones I’ve used, but they are the ones I should have used.

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God can and will direct our paths, if we let Him. If we throw out our plans, and listen to His plans for our lives. If we forget the pride and hurt feelings we harbor, He can work in us. He can give us real answers to solve the problems. At times, I haven’t wanted to listen. I have turned my back and handled it my way, and have gained disastrous results. And you know what, I’ll do it again.

The Christian life isn’t a stroll down a flower-strewn path with birds singing happily in our ears. Becoming a Christian won’t do away with the worldly problems we are all faced with on a daily basis. But it will give you the answers you need to be able to deal with them. As you grow in your Christian walk with Him, those answers are seen more readily, and the temptation to follow things that aren’t so good, will lessen. Accepting Christ as your Savior isn’t a one-time fix, it’s a life-long endeavor. And it’s a journey I’m very happy to be on.

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Life is real, and the answers are at your fingertips.

Our Christian Walk

Working For a Living

deborahanndykeman

Working for a living. Just about all of us have to do it. I was very fortunate to be able to stay at home with our five children for 20+ years…but that meant that my husband was gone…working for a living.

Some people are able to work at a job or profession that they love. But a very high percentage have to just work, and that makes life not so pleasant at times. So what can you do to still live your life and enjoy it, in spite of having to be gone for several hours out of every day?

You can be the answer.

Yes,  most of the time, you can control your environment and make it as pleasant or as miserable as you want. And I really do think this applies to many circumstances in life. And as a disclaimer, I’m not talking about abusive relationships here. There are times in your personal life and your work place it is just best to leave the situation, but that is for another post.

I’m digging out of the muddle of being at work for the past week or so. Doing double shifts, covering for others, as have many at my place of employment. It seems to be the same everywhere and it is becoming very discouraging. People don’t want to work, they want a paycheck. So here is a quick run-down of what it means to have a job.

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Work when you are scheduled to work. If you have a job, know what your schedule is and be there, every time.

Report for work on time. Not five, ten, etc. minutes late. Plan your day to be there, where you are supposed to be, where you are being paid to be.

Do your work. All of it, everyday and in a timely manner. Don’t take the easy road, wasting time, leaving stuff for others to finish. Find out how something is supposed to be done, and do it, the correct way, every time.

Put the phone away. You are being paid to work, not talk or text. Have some integrity and do what you are being paid for.

Be considerate of others. This is the big one. If you are considerate of others, then you will follow all of the above. People matter, and when you follow the guidelines I’ve given, you show that others matter to you. When you don’t follow them, you show that you care for no one other than yourself.

For me, this post is a ‘duh’ moment. What I’ve said is not difficult to follow and just common courtesy. It was something that people always did when they had a job. You weren’t entitled to be paid without working for it. And you were thankful to be paid and you wanted to be a good employee. The people that didn’t care were few and far between. Now they are the majority, and it makes it very hard on the rest of the people that still do care, and want to do a good job.

You can be the answer.

Strive to be the employee and the co-worker that others really appreciate, and want to be around. You change your working environment for the better. You be the answer to the problems, not another problem.

Yes, most of us are going to have to work for a living. But you can make  a difference in how those hours are spent, and you can make them count for good. You can be a benefit to those around you.

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Our Christian Walk

My View is Not Your View

deborahanndykeman

This photograph speaks to me on many different levels. Each time I look at it, I try to figure out all the reasons why. I’m going to list my thoughts, and please share yours on what this photograph does for you.

The sunlight coming in gives hope and a feeling of happiness, but the darker surroundings, and the bare bushes create a sense of loss or sadness.

The neat and tidy bricks, clean and glowing in the sunlight appeal to my joy of order in life. The metal banister on each side contributes to boundaries and almost gives you tunnel vision, causing you to focus on the person.

The person, definitely a man in my opinion. Because of the bold stance, one hand in the pocket. If you look very closely, there may be another person standing to the right. That is something I just now noticed after viewing this several times over the past few weeks.

Now for the part that causes confusion for me. Does that walkway extend into the water, almost fading to the edge of the horizon?  Is it a seawall of sorts? Notice the calm waves to the left and the more turbulent water on the right. And if it’s a seawall, it must be high-tide.

Does this photograph give you a sense of happiness or doom? Is it hope, or hopelessness that you feel when you look at it?

When I view this, and I have many, many times, I feel as though I have been on a long, tightly controlled journey. At the end of that uniform, brick walkway, I stand and the options are open to me. There is a vast array of choices.Some of them are a bit chaotic, but there is hope, and a definite feeling of joy as I look at the brilliant rays trailing over the water. I have come from the darkness surrounding me, the gloom, and I have survived. For me, that partially submerged walkway means that there is direction and all I have to do is keep walking toward the welcoming light.

I know that many will look at this and think, “Yeah, it’s a person enjoying the sunset, nothing more.” That same person will think that the glass is half-empty.

For me, life is so much more enjoyable because of our abilities to see, hear, taste and smell. I know it is for most of us. But do we really use those senses as we should? Do we take full advantage of them on a daily basis? Probably not. Use your senses as you study this photograph. Hear the ocean waves, smell and taste the salt water in the air and on your tongue. Feel the breeze.

I love photographs and pictures that speak to me. I like to try to find the hidden meaning, or what the photographer or artist were thinking at the time that the work was produced. I like to ‘get’ what they were communicating.

This photograph is so much more than what you see. After all, my view is not your view. I think this scene could capture our Christian journey here on this earth. So much of our lives are a struggle, clouded in darkness and the daily trials and tribulations. But if your hope is in Heaven, you follow that brick walkway and the future is open and brilliant at the end of your journey. It can still be a little chaotic as you travel, but the path is there, and all you have to do is follow. The Son is beckoning.

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Marriage, Our Christian Walk

We Are What We Think

deborahanndykeman

Chapter One
Late Summer of 2003

Kathy Miller applied the last stroke of mascara and pushed the applicator back into the bottle. She dabbed at a stray fleck of brown beneath her lower lash and stepped away from the mirror to take a critical assessment of her appearance. The same thing she did almost every Sunday morning before leaving for church. The last few years of the routine had become increasingly difficult with the addition of several gray hairs as well as pounds. Her curvaceous figure of twenty years ago was resulting in a lumpy look that she did not find attractive at all. Her ample bust had lost to gravity, keeping the eye away from her once trim and small waist.
She tried to fluff her brown hair, succeeding to make it even frizzier in the late summer heat and humidity of the Hudson Valley. It was desperately in need of a good cut, but she never seemed to find the time to locate a good hair dresser. Several bad ones over the years had made her a little leery of trying anyone new.
She sighed and turned away from the mirror, feeling as though she had just wasted another five minutes of her already hectic morning. She straightened the little jacket of the floral dress she wore. She felt old and tired.

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The above was taken from the first part of chapter one of my book, To Thee I’m Wed. If you are a woman, and have been married for any length of time, and you have children…multiple children… you understand the above. You have lived it while getting dressed for the day or going someplace special. Women can be very critical of themselves…probably their harshest critic.

Why?

I started my marriage full of hope and expectations. I wanted to be the perfect wife and mother, have the perfect house, and I was always going to be thin and attractive. My thoughts at nineteen, almost twenty were that I would never let myself go, as I had seen other women do. Gaining weight and becoming haggard-looking were choices…and I was going to be sure to not let that happen to me!

Now, I’ve spent the past thirty years being overweight. Yes, I’ve dieted and exercised in between having five children. I’ve never been a couch potato…but in my mind, I certainly look like a bag of potatoes! My hair is starting to go gray around the temples and there are many days when I look pretty haggard. And to me…that seems cruel!

It’s cruel because I’ve had the best of intentions. Cruel because life marches on and doesn’t wait for you to get your act together in any area. Cruel…I never wanted to look as I do now!

Yes, it’s difficult to write this. I’m baring my soul and acknowledging things I don’t really want to face, much less put down on my computer. But I know many of you feel the exact same way…we are not alone .

So…is it really about the weight and the gray hair? Probably not. And that is also true for many of us. We try to fix the outward appearance or the items that seem ‘fixable’. But we don’t deal with the real issue at hand.

To Thee I’m Wed deals with the real issue of Kathy’s loneliness in her marriage. Her children are older, her husband has a job he loves, and he is wrapped up in that. Kathy doesn’t really feel needed or wanted. I think many women attack themselves because of those feelings. They don’t know where to go or what to do, and that leaves us very vulnerable. We take comfort in many ways. Sometimes eating, drinking, and spending hours with friends so we don’t have to deal with the insecurities of our home life. And yes, sometimes male companionship enters in when we think our needs are not being met at home.

Of course those are wrong responses…usually…and no, I don’t have the answers. If I did…I wouldn’t be writing this post!

I do know that women need to take more time to be thankful for what they do have…me included. Look around and consider your life. If you are married, be thankful for that husband. If you have children, be thankful for those little blessings in disguise. Because there are many, many days, when the good side of having children can be hard to find! Be thankful for your home, your job, your church and your friends. These are all given to us to help us live this life and have enjoyment. As it says in:

Philippians 4:8 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

We can all find bad in almost any situation. Believe me…I’m a critical person. If it’s there, I’m going to find it! But that attitude also takes our joy out of life. So concentrate on that verse. Apply it to your life.

Practically…if you are overweight, take steps to lose weight. Actively get involved with changing your appearance and health for the better. Instead of watching TV and snacking, go for a walk. If you’re lonely, think of volunteer work or a job. If you’re overweight and lonely, look into a gym membership. My point being…make a change. Baby steps toward something different and positive, usually result in great strides at some point. Just start!