Last week I had posted on my struggles with posting. Not about the ability to, but the content and the quality. Sometimes it is difficult to share our innermost thoughts and emotions. Doing so strips us of our coverings of pride and faith in our selves and our abilities. It leaves us open and bare for more hurt.
Writers, in my opinion, use writing in whatever genre, whatever mode, to express this. Some writers are very open and lay it all out there. Others, not so much, or they may step out and view it from afar, thus avoiding the pain or the opening of a wound.
This would be especially true in the case of abuse, whether it be emotional or physical, or a combination of both.
Such is the story line for my third book in the ‘Rubyville’ series, A Place to Heal.
All authors write what they know to a very large extent. Yes, you can research and write a very good story. But there is something about having lived it that always comes through to the reader, whether they know it or not. My third book in this series deals with spousal abuse. I pray that I dealt with it appropriately, without slogging through too much. Sometimes less is more.
No, in my husband’s defense, he has never been abusive. He has always been loving and kind, quiet and reserved. Just what I needed after having dated someone that was abusive. That time period in my life was very difficult and disastrous to my entire family because we were all young, and trusting. Damage was done that we’ve all lived with for thirty plus years. Some of us have had therapy, and that helped in certain areas. But we all still have to live with it.
Last week, I heard that this person had passed away. Very young in my opinion, had lived many years, very sick. Did it free me? I always thought it would. But it did not in my case. For many years ago, I made the decision that what had happened would not destroy me or my life. That was when I was free. That doesn’t mean that there weren’t days, weeks or months of struggles trying to live with my damaged soul. It means I wanted to go on from that time period. I feel very sad for that person, dying so young, but he had decisions to make and opportunities as well.
I pray my third story shows that you can make changes in your life. Abuse on any level doesn’t have to destroy you. I fully believe that we can decide how we live our lives. We can rise each day and be bitter, thinking about the past or even present and wallow in that hurt. Or we can make a change. No, it doesn’t usually happen immediately and there is usually fall-out. But you can start down the right path at any time. It is up to you.
I have chosen to live my life with God’s direction. Yes, He allows terrible things to happen in our lives. The book of Job is an extremely good example of this. Know, I don’t understand why He allows this. I don’t understand why the events that took place over thirty years ago were allowed in my Christian family. But they did happen. I personally feel that they made me stronger…but that has taken many years.
The biggest take-away from this is: It’s not the events themselves. It is what we do to handle those events and our attitude toward them. We choose what steps to take in our lives…all of us do. What is your choice for today?