Category: Other Posts

A Quick Thought

Autumn Hue

deborahanndykeman

To walk a wooded path on an autumn day is glorious! The crispness is the air with each intake of breath. The smell of decaying leaves, crunching under your feet. If you pause, you may feel the stillness all around, the drift of a leaf to the ground.

forest-1345747_1920

The beauty in the various colors of red, yellow and orange, sun caressing the array, is sometimes difficult to believe. You stand in awe.

woods-1072819_1920

Enjoy the colors all around you. Creations flaming show. Sit on your deck, take a walk through the woods and absorb the hues, sounds and smells of this new season. Welcome autumn!

autumn-is-here

Marriage, Parenting 101

Another Anniversary

deborahanndykeman

When I was young, a wedding was a happy celebration for me. It was a day to dress up in a beautiful gown, have flowers overflowing every surface, and you walked down the aisle to your handsome husband-to-be. It was the most tremendous of happenings in a young girl’s life. And I looked forward to my wedding day with great expectation.

lady-1112842_1280

When our first daughter was married almost eight years ago, it wasn’t a happy day for me. Yes, I know that is a rather blunt way to put it, and it seems a bit selfish, but that was the way I felt. I was losing my oldest daughter, and all the attributes she brought to our family circle…and I was depressed. That tiny baby I held at birth, and cherished, was no longer mine, she belonged to someone else.

brittas-wedding-sep-28-2008

As I look at my husband in this picture, I see sadness on his face. And I know he was feeling many of the same emotions I was.

Fast forward a few years to our second daughter’s wedding. No, I wasn’t any more happy about it. I was sad and depressed. Again, a part of our family was once again changing, and it would never be the same. She was leaving us by choice, and that hurt.img_0539

I think the most difficult part of each wedding ceremony for me was watching my husband walk our daughters down the aisle, and then kiss her goodbye. It really symbolizes the ending of one way of life and the beginning of another.

Our third daughter is celebrating her first wedding anniversary today. Her wedding, one year ago was just as hard on the emotions. Even more poignant was the fact that she wore my wedding dress and veil. It was an honor, but flooded my mind with so many memories of my own wedding day. All those years shuffled away under the load of babies, jobs, bills, and responsibilities. Where had they all gone is such a hurry?

October 20, 1984
September 19, 2015

When I was young, I never thought of weddings as being a sad day. I pretty much thought people were shedding tears of happiness. I didn’t understand all that was behind those tears…just as our daughters do not understand right now. And that’s how it should be.

Our three daughters, (we have one more to go), have all married wonderful young men. They have lives of their own now. Yes, it’s been very difficult to let go of each one, and I know I’m not successful at it most of the time. Those girls were MY babies not many years ago. I fed them, rocked them, and sang them to sleep at night. I dressed them up in matching clothes, and fixed their hair every morning. I was frustrated with them as teenagers, hoping they would leave home very quickly on many days over the years. But now they are no longer mine as they once were, and in reality, they never were really mine.

I was allowed a very short number of years in their life in my role as their mother. Yes, I’m still ‘Mom’ but not in the same way. It’s hard to let go, and it’s sad. I think I cry each time one of them celebrates another anniversary. But I am happy for them, proud of them, and thankful that they still choose to include me in their lives, sometimes almost on a daily basis. And someday they will understand. I pray that by the time that day arrives, I will have matured enough to hold them, and give comfort. That I will be able to tell them there is happiness in watching their children grow as men and women, husbands and wives, and fathers and mothers.

And that’s just as it should be.

Happy First Anniversary, Mitchel and Alyssa Lynn! You are loved!

A Day to Remember

In Memory…

deborahanndykeman

September 11, 2001

Sometimes there are no words. Only silence.

one-world-trade-center-690377_1280

We remember and reflect and pray. In humble memory of the lives lost, and the families that went on. For a city that rebuilt and a country that will stand united.

new-york-city-78181_1920

A Quick Thought

Oldies but Goodies

deborahanndykeman

I love music, and I can generally find appreciation for all genres to some extent. As I grow older, the louder and more repetitive beats associated with heavy rock and roll, and sometimes rap, are a bit much for me. Jazz has always been one of my least favorite, but I can even listen to that in a background kind of way.

Music from the ’50’s era and into the early ’60’s has always been very special to me. As a teenager I would listen to that whenever I had a chance. There is something that is happy and full of hope in much of that music, even though many of the songs could be a bit depressing. Teen Angel by Mark Dinning is one that comes to mind. But overall, I think the music was upbeat and positive. It made you feel good.

I was just visiting over at https://thepbsblog.wordpress.com/2016/09/08/throwback-thursday-jam-a-change-is-gonna-come-sam-cooke/. I check this blog often and enjoy what she posts. I was attracted to this particular post because of the Sam Cooke song. This song does have more of a message to it, and I don’t want to take anything away from that post with my words.

But hearing Sam Cooke’s voice, brought back a flood of memories. Happy ones I might add. He did address some pretty important issues with many of his songs, but three come to mind that are a little lighter. And that’s what I want to share with you all today.

This first one always makes me smile and I think of young love. School is not a huge priority as you can hear, but he is trying. And he is trying because he’s in love and wants that love returned. Literally, when you think of young love, the world would be a wonderful place if someone returns your love…and I don’t think that’s too far off base. Because being in love and having that returned makes this life a much easier road to travel.

Now this one…he has that girl. And they are just enjoying life. Just a great beat.

I’ve always loved this one. If our children are all here and we are doing dishes, we usually end up singing this one. Again, just happy, an era of innocence and more gentle times.

diner-1237078_1920

I could listen to and share music on here all day and then some. But that doesn’t get the laundry done or the dishes washed. I won’t accomplish my writing goals for today. But I sure do appreciate YouTube and the ability to listen to some great oldies. Thank you to those that put the music there for all of us to enjoy. Have a fantastic Thursday afternoon!

A Day to Remember

Greetings, September!

deborahanndykeman

My husband was raised in the Hudson Valley region of New York state. That is where we met the summer of 1983. As you know from past posts, I grew up in Colorado. I love the time period of Colorado when my family lived there. Denver was big, but not huge like today. The towns were spread out on all those flat lands leading up to the Rocky Mountains in the west. It was gorgeous, no humidity, and the snow melted quickly. But I really didn’t care for the Rockies. Yes, I can admire them…from afar. But that is about all I wanted to do with them!

But I digress. My family lived in upstate New York for awhile and Vermont. Both beautiful locations. For me, it was the Norman Rockwell existence I had always dreamed about. I adored the little mountains, covered in trees and foliage. They seemed much more hospitable to me. Even so, I still admired them from afar.

After a short time in Tucson, Arizona…a world away from upstate New York…we moved to the Hudson Valley region. I was in love! I can still remember driving in to that little town so close to the Hudson River. It was very late at night, at the end of May. Stone fences lined the roads and the mist hung heavy in the air. It had been raining for most of our drive that day and everything was dripping. You could smell the deep, earthy scents and the stillness closed around you. While living there I worked second shift, and my memories of getting off work at eleven and driving to our small town, will always be with me. During the summer, the huge trees draped their branches over the weaving road. The heavy dampness in the air would cause me to use my windshield wipers to be able to see through the inky corridor of the blacktop.

My husband and I moved further north after our marriage, to the Catskill region. My husband had always been a hiker and bike rider. And yes, he was warned that I didn’t find these activities or camping very thrilling. He did manage to get me out on some walks, and these pictures remind me of what we always had the privilege to see.

road-1072823_1920

Autumn in my mind will forever be associated with New York. These pictures bring back happy memories of what seem like more simple times.

nature-1345720_1920

When our first child was born, we spent many hours walking down paths such as the one below, my husband carrying her on his shoulders.

fall-1072821_1920

Maybe that’s why she loves to walk today!

Today is the first of September. I know it won’t officially be fall for another three weeks or so. But for me, September is the beginning of my husband’s most favorite time of year. Since he grew up around these kind of views…I can certainly understand why!

Happy first day of September to you!

 

A Day to Remember

Wow!!!

deborahanndykeman

Do you see those gorgeous pink blooms above? I am so thrilled to see them pictured here in their simple purity! I would just take a big sniff, if I could, they look just that beautiful.

You all know I’m a ditz when it comes to techno stuff. I’ve complained about it multiple times on here. But again, thanks to my daughter, a.k.a. my editor and helper for all things computer challenging, I now have those very pretty roses.

Who knew you had to download them in a certain way?! “Not I,”replied the computer illiterate writer. To give myself a little, teensy-weensy bit of credit…I did get them onto my site all by myself. And I could just weep with happiness since I didn’t lose anything or mess up something else. I was even able to make a couple more little tweeks to the site! Wow!!! This is a big day for moi!

I realize some of you may think I’m a bit over-the-top with this excitement about something you may find so very simple. But let me relish in my achievements for a little while. You have to take the joyous moments where ever you can find them! Have a fantastic Tuesday!

Marriage, Our Christian Walk

We Are What We Think

deborahanndykeman

Chapter One
Late Summer of 2003

Kathy Miller applied the last stroke of mascara and pushed the applicator back into the bottle. She dabbed at a stray fleck of brown beneath her lower lash and stepped away from the mirror to take a critical assessment of her appearance. The same thing she did almost every Sunday morning before leaving for church. The last few years of the routine had become increasingly difficult with the addition of several gray hairs as well as pounds. Her curvaceous figure of twenty years ago was resulting in a lumpy look that she did not find attractive at all. Her ample bust had lost to gravity, keeping the eye away from her once trim and small waist.
She tried to fluff her brown hair, succeeding to make it even frizzier in the late summer heat and humidity of the Hudson Valley. It was desperately in need of a good cut, but she never seemed to find the time to locate a good hair dresser. Several bad ones over the years had made her a little leery of trying anyone new.
She sighed and turned away from the mirror, feeling as though she had just wasted another five minutes of her already hectic morning. She straightened the little jacket of the floral dress she wore. She felt old and tired.

white 450x450

 

The above was taken from the first part of chapter one of my book, To Thee I’m Wed. If you are a woman, and have been married for any length of time, and you have children…multiple children… you understand the above. You have lived it while getting dressed for the day or going someplace special. Women can be very critical of themselves…probably their harshest critic.

Why?

I started my marriage full of hope and expectations. I wanted to be the perfect wife and mother, have the perfect house, and I was always going to be thin and attractive. My thoughts at nineteen, almost twenty were that I would never let myself go, as I had seen other women do. Gaining weight and becoming haggard-looking were choices…and I was going to be sure to not let that happen to me!

Now, I’ve spent the past thirty years being overweight. Yes, I’ve dieted and exercised in between having five children. I’ve never been a couch potato…but in my mind, I certainly look like a bag of potatoes! My hair is starting to go gray around the temples and there are many days when I look pretty haggard. And to me…that seems cruel!

It’s cruel because I’ve had the best of intentions. Cruel because life marches on and doesn’t wait for you to get your act together in any area. Cruel…I never wanted to look as I do now!

Yes, it’s difficult to write this. I’m baring my soul and acknowledging things I don’t really want to face, much less put down on my computer. But I know many of you feel the exact same way…we are not alone .

So…is it really about the weight and the gray hair? Probably not. And that is also true for many of us. We try to fix the outward appearance or the items that seem ‘fixable’. But we don’t deal with the real issue at hand.

To Thee I’m Wed deals with the real issue of Kathy’s loneliness in her marriage. Her children are older, her husband has a job he loves, and he is wrapped up in that. Kathy doesn’t really feel needed or wanted. I think many women attack themselves because of those feelings. They don’t know where to go or what to do, and that leaves us very vulnerable. We take comfort in many ways. Sometimes eating, drinking, and spending hours with friends so we don’t have to deal with the insecurities of our home life. And yes, sometimes male companionship enters in when we think our needs are not being met at home.

Of course those are wrong responses…usually…and no, I don’t have the answers. If I did…I wouldn’t be writing this post!

I do know that women need to take more time to be thankful for what they do have…me included. Look around and consider your life. If you are married, be thankful for that husband. If you have children, be thankful for those little blessings in disguise. Because there are many, many days, when the good side of having children can be hard to find! Be thankful for your home, your job, your church and your friends. These are all given to us to help us live this life and have enjoyment. As it says in:

Philippians 4:8 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

We can all find bad in almost any situation. Believe me…I’m a critical person. If it’s there, I’m going to find it! But that attitude also takes our joy out of life. So concentrate on that verse. Apply it to your life.

Practically…if you are overweight, take steps to lose weight. Actively get involved with changing your appearance and health for the better. Instead of watching TV and snacking, go for a walk. If you’re lonely, think of volunteer work or a job. If you’re overweight and lonely, look into a gym membership. My point being…make a change. Baby steps toward something different and positive, usually result in great strides at some point. Just start!

Just For Fun!

Millennials

deborahanndykeman

I admit it. I’m old! I’m at the place that I said I would never be. I was going to be young and hip my entire life. I was going to understand my children, their music, their clothing and their decisions. I would be young at heart and fun to be around until the day I died. I wasn’t going to be a fuddy-duddy like so many older people that I had seen when I was young.

To say a phrase I dislike…”Not!”

I have arrived at the destination I was not going to take. But I’m still a step behind. I think of younger people as yuppies, and that was how many years ago?

So the term today is millennials. I must say, I don’t even know what that all entails. But this video seemed to wrap it all up in one pretty little package. I mean no disrespect in sharing this…just a light-hearted look at what is going on in the world today. If you have been out in public at all recently, you have seen some of the things that are spoken of. If you are old like me, you’re nodding your head. If you are young like my children…you are shaking your head saying, “What?”

So, just enjoy. Start your day off with a smile on this Wednesday.

For those of you that watched this video earlier…I do apologize. There was another video after the song that I hadn’t realized was included. It was using language and expressing views that I would not state on here. Again, my point to this was to look at the millennials in a fun way.

A Quick Thought

Solitude

deborahanndykeman

I worked the night shift for a year, two years ago. I didn’t work full-time, and I am thankful for that. I don’t think I could have stood it as long as I did if I had worked a forty hour week.

I’ve never been much of a sleeper. Everything has to be about perfect for me to get a good night’s rest. The correct pillow, mattress, and room temperature. For me, around fifty degrees, snuggled under a bunch of covers works out very well. Then I sleep.

So, to have me up to work from 10 pm to 6 am a couple nights a week, usually meant no sleep for that day. By the time I arrived home, it was wake-up call for everyone else in the house at the time. Dark curtains at the window, and the temperature as cool as I could reasonably have it, didn’t seem to help when the sun was shining outside. After a year of that, I was pretty much exhausted.

What I loved about that shift was the solitude. In nursing, generally the patients and the residents are sleeping…until you go in to wake them up. Yes, I had tasks to accomplish before the next shift came in, but it wasn’t crazy with the hustle and bustle of day-time hours. The lights were low, it was quiet, and it was peaceful. Solitude.

For me, being alone isn’t a bad thing. I do appreciate my family and friends. I love a day away, or a few days when we can manage it, with my husband. An afternoon with a dear friend is very special. I look forward to our family times when we are all together, eating around the table or playing games. But I do enjoy the times like now, when I’m alone for a bit.

tree-753069__180

Yes, I should be sleeping, and I will probably regret this decision to write at two in the morning. I’ll regret it when I’m at work later today, dragging through the last couple of hours until I can go home. But for now…it’s really nice. Just the hum of the ceiling fan, the air-conditioner coming on every now and then, and solitude. My mind works much better during these times. How about yours?

solitude-1209296__180

 

Gardening

Cooler Days are Coming!

deborahanndykeman

Summer! Hot and humid days, sun so bright that everything is a blur. Nights that barely dip below 75 degrees, the air dripping with moisture. That’s what it’s been like here in Kansas. And I’m ready for fall!

I’ve been trying to get back on track with my walking. It really takes a nose dive during June, July and August. This morning, I finally made it out to the lake at around seven this morning. It was still ‘cool’, in a manner of speaking. Only 72 degrees out. But the steam hung heavy over the lake and after twenty minutes, I was soaked through. Ugh! Our daughter’s dog, Buddy went with us. He gave up before us and just about needed a lift back to the van.

But before summer ends we still have tomatoes to redden on the vine. Lots of peppers to pick and cucumbers that are as big as zucchini squash. I have made refrigerator pickles in the past. They are my favorite because I can put them in a jar, add vinegar and spices, and let them sit. And I don’t have to add sugar. After one bite that puckered our lips and rolled our eyeballs, I added a little bit!

I love sour pickles, but these were over-the-top. The ‘weeds’ in the jar, as our son called them, are dill. I’ve grown my own in the past, but these are store bought.

To be fair, this summer has been a little different than others in the past. We’ve had lots of rain, sometimes torrential downpours. My little fountain has been filled to over-flowing many times this year. The flowers, grass and trees have loved it. My hedge has adored all the rain and this Monster Hedge deserves a post all it’s own. I planned to keep it trimmed up tight and neat. I wanted to keep it trimmed that way! But this hedge has a mind of it’s own and now, our son-in-law will have to return with the chain saw. Sorry David! I really did try to keep it under control.

The above picture on the left was taken in March, shortly after the hedge was trimmed back. It looked so forlorn! You can see the shepherd’s hook and the hedge is the same height. The next picture was taken a few minutes ago. You can’t see the shepherd’s hook enveloped by the branches, just the white bird feeder. The hedge is probably five feet higher than the top of the hook. The little fountain is covered as well. And I notice just now, my sun tea sitting on the table. It’s heated to around 100 degrees by now!

Summer…very special in it’s own way, but cooler days are coming and I can’t wait!