God is Good!

At times I wonder if decisions people make ever go as planned. Even the most thought-out, all-scenarios-reviewed-plans seem to have a glitch or two. Is this one way we stay on our toes? Helping us to mature and examine all aspects of an important decision? Or is it road-blocks designed to hamper what we would like to do?

I don’t know if I will ever have the answer for that question. I can say that one should always expect to have a fly in the ointment, and be extremely thankful when there is not! Maybe this is looking at the glass half-full, but I prefer to call it being prepared.

When we pack to go away for a few days, I always bring my raincoat, even if the weather says it won’t rain. I’ve been extremely thankful for this many times now. It seems as though the weather is just a toss-up. The more technology and tools we have to predict, the more it’s wrong. Again…a road-block, or is God reminding us that not everything is in our what we think capable hands?

Our son left yesterday for another year at a Bible Institute. When you have been living on your own, working two and three jobs, and having surgery after surgery for a few years, this is a huge decision to make. But he felt that since he had to leave his last semester due to the surgeries he needed, he wanted to finish what he had started. I don’t know if that was the best decision, but he is an adult, and I can’t tell him ‘no’ any longer. This picture is of our son and son-in-law. They became good friends while they were both at the Bible Institute in the same class. Our son is 6’2″ and our son-in-law is 6’4″…just to give you a bit of perspective!

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Going away to a Bible Institute would probably be considered a good thing to do for a Christian man wanting to serve in a ministry somehow. He is a gifted teacher in my humble opinion, and he is very talented musically. That in itself is beyond belief. The surgeries he has had have been for his ears, and at one time we thought he would be deaf. He can still play guitar and sing. God is good, merciful and gracious. He uses people as a testimony to this, over and over. Our son is not unique in this.

A question asked over the last couple of months is if he should make this decision. We tried as parents to give him the good and the bad of it, and I know he was praying, knowing all the same scenarios. He decided to go…and the road blocks just kept coming. I don’t know if it was a nudge saying he shouldn’t go, or a slap from the side that does not want God’s good to prevail. I struggle with that in my own life, and I think most Christians do. That’s why we are advised to seek wisdom.

Our son left, after two days of car trouble, and more money spent to repair it. He began his twelve hour drive on two hours of sleep. But he did arrive at his destination. He is already greatly missed…but we all have many of his projects to finish up to remind us of him! I pray this year goes well, I pray the answers he needed are made known to him.

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God is good! Have a great weekend! (The lake at sunset was taken by our son.) Here is a video I shared on here before. Our granddaughter was loving the concert! This makes me smile…and I need to smile right now!

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Another Anniversary

When I was young, a wedding was a happy celebration for me. It was a day to dress up in a beautiful gown, have flowers overflowing every surface, and you walked down the aisle to your handsome husband-to-be. It was the most tremendous of happenings in a young girl’s life. And I looked forward to my wedding day with great expectation.

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When our first daughter was married almost eight years ago, it wasn’t a happy day for me. Yes, I know that is a rather blunt way to put it, and it seems a bit selfish, but that was the way I felt. I was losing my oldest daughter, and all the attributes she brought to our family circle…and I was depressed. That tiny baby I held at birth, and cherished, was no longer mine, she belonged to someone else.

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As I look at my husband in this picture, I see sadness on his face. And I know he was feeling many of the same emotions I was.

Fast forward a few years to our second daughter’s wedding. No, I wasn’t any more happy about it. I was sad and depressed. Again, a part of our family was once again changing, and it would never be the same. She was leaving us by choice, and that hurt.img_0539

I think the most difficult part of each wedding ceremony for me was watching my husband walk our daughters down the aisle, and then kiss her goodbye. It really symbolizes the ending of one way of life and the beginning of another.

Our third daughter is celebrating her first wedding anniversary today. Her wedding, one year ago was just as hard on the emotions. Even more poignant was the fact that she wore my wedding dress and veil. It was an honor, but flooded my mind with so many memories of my own wedding day. All those years shuffled away under the load of babies, jobs, bills, and responsibilities. Where had they all gone is such a hurry?

When I was young, I never thought of weddings as being a sad day. I pretty much thought people were shedding tears of happiness. I didn’t understand all that was behind those tears…just as our daughters do not understand right now. And that’s how it should be.

Our three daughters, (we have one more to go), have all married wonderful young men. They have lives of their own now. Yes, it’s been very difficult to let go of each one, and I know I’m not successful at it most of the time. Those girls were MY babies┬ánot many years ago. I fed them, rocked them, and sang them to sleep at night. I dressed them up in matching clothes, and fixed their hair every morning. I was frustrated with them as teenagers, hoping they would leave home very quickly on many days over the years. But now they are no longer mine as they once were, and in reality, they never were really mine.

I was allowed a very short number of years in their life in my role as their mother. Yes, I’m still ‘Mom’ but not in the same way. It’s hard to let go, and it’s sad. I think I cry each time one of them celebrates another anniversary. But I am happy for them, proud of them, and thankful that they still choose to include me in their lives, sometimes almost on a daily basis. And someday they will understand. I pray that by the time that day arrives, I will have matured enough to hold them, and give comfort. That I will be able to tell them there is happiness in watching their children grow as men and women, husbands and wives, and fathers and mothers.

And that’s just as it should be.

Happy First Anniversary, Mitchel and Alyssa Lynn! You are loved!