Author: deborahanndykeman

Writing has always been a love of mine. Except for school reports! I didn't cherish those moments. I began with poems in grade school, and short little stories that I illustrated. I created something for each family celebration and probably wore my family out. But I graduated to a longer 'book' by the time I was 18. Following traditional romance novel writing, I pounded out a pretty cheesy story on a Royal typewriter I had found at a garage sale. You didn't worry about your nails when using one of those! When four of our five children were still young, I wrote my first full-length book back in 1998. I followed it with three more in that series. Those are my current WIP, needing many updates and editing. I'm happy to say as of this writing, the fourth in the Love Defined series is written and waiting for edits! I can't wait to get this final book in the series into my reader's hands! Currently, I have published twelve books, creating the covers on most of them. The cover work is something I really enjoy! Stay tuned for more on that. My husband and I have been married for forty-one years, and we have five children and nine grandchildren. I've been a homeschooling mom, Sunday school teacher, AWANA director and a pastor's wife. I've worked as a CNA and an Activity Director. When I'm not busy writing...which I love, BTW, I'm working on home projects, marketing and attending events, where I love to meet you...my readers!
Writing

How is YOUR imagination?

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As you can see, I’ve been kind of playing around with this site. I did that with my furniture when I was first married. I moved it pretty often, sometimes once a week. Now my living room furniture stays where it is for years at a time. I’ve become comfortable with it there, (or too lazy to move it). But I prefer to think of the first option.

That all leads me to the picture on my header. (I think that is what it’s called!) Although the ‘hall’ is heavily ornamented, there’s something about the way the light is coming in the windows that makes me want to jump in there and run to the end. Of course I would have on a wedding dress with a long train and veil, both flowing behind me…lifting on the breeze stirred by my quick retreat. And yes, it would be a retreat. Not a retreat in a bad way. Not running FROM something, but running TO something or someone. Maybe running from the confines of the room or the situation to the openness of the garden beyond and all that sunlight that is streaming in. And yes, there is a garden beyond. Filled with fragrant roses and graveled paths, ornamental benches waiting for an occupant or two. Did I say I would be barefoot as well? With pink, sparkly toenails?

How is YOUR imagination? What do you see or imagine when you see the above picture?

My love of reading and writing come from creating those pictures in my head. I used to tell my children that reading was so much fun because you could ‘watch’ the book in your head, kind of like a movie. I’m sure they thought I was crazy in that area and many others, but they didn’t watch much TV or movies while growing up. They all loved to read at one point in time. I was so excited when each of my children learned to read and then enjoyed it. It is such a simple pleasure!

So share your thoughts on the above picture. I love to hear what people’s ideas are on things like that. There are so many possibilities…

Just For Fun!

Remember when…

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Cover Girl make-up was all the rage? I’m thinking of the late ’70’s. All the girls at school were wearing it. During that time there was a commercial running. I want to say the model was blonde and tossing her hair. (Aren’t blondes always tossing their hair? I have few in my house.) This little picture made me think of that and it made me smile. I wanted to share it with you and make you smile too. Thank you to my children for showing me the picture! Have a great day!

Now this makes me smile!
Now this makes me smile!
Our Christian Walk

Thank you for faithful men!

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As I was typing the title for this post, I was thinking it might mean a whole different thing to some people. But I like the title so I will keep it. If you read the entire post, you will then know.

My husband, our second to youngest and I just spent this past week in Hot Springs, South Dakota. We went there to collect the rest of our daughter’s ‘stuff’ from Cornerstone Bible Institute and to attend a Pastor’s Conference there. And…to bring our daughter home.

The purpose of this Pastor’s/Bible Conference is to give pastors and those in ministry a time of encouragement and relaxation. This ministry is just in its beginning stages, this was the third year we have met together, but the founders of this would eventually like to have a retreat area there in South Dakota. Pastors and their families could stay in cabins with a stocked pantry and just have time to rejuvenate, be encouraged and relax. This is called Black Hills Ministries. I personally think it is a fantastic idea!

And that is why I am so thankful for these faithful men. Each year we have had men, usually pastors or teachers that come and speak for several sessions for three days. It has been a time of such learning and encouragement for my husband and I! These men present God’s word in such a way that these days just fly by. God’s word comes alive and is an encouragement. It teaches and at times steps on our toes, but we always feel refreshed and ready for the battles ahead. These men take time out of their very busy schedules and teach us…and that is a privilege.

So why isn’t it a privilege for all Believers? Why is it that church and learning God’s word is something to do if you don’t have anything better to do? A hundred years ago, families gathered in their homes and read from God’s word. If a pastor came through the area, they were thrilled to be taught by a man that had studied God’ word and could teach them deeper truths. Now, we have churches sitting almost vacant with no one wanting to be taught. And going to church IS about learning God’s word. It is for the equipping of the saints, the Believers. It’s not about what you can or can’t wear, how exciting the Pastor is, how long the music program is, etc. It’s about truth being taught. If truth is not taught, you should not be there. The only way you know and understand if truth is being taught is by learning God’s word and having sound discernment.

Are YOU thankful for these faithful men? Do you support them by attending services that they have spent many hours preparing for? After all, we only sit for maybe an hour or two out of our entire week. We devote more time to exercising, cleaning house, gardening, watching TV…you name It, than we do for Godly pursuits. And yes, I struggle with the same things. I too have to prioritize my life. I do know that I don’t want to stand before God and give a list of ‘things’ that were more important than Him. What about you?

A Day to Remember

Remember Memorial Day

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Today is Memorial Day…the unofficial start to summer, picnics by the lake, grilling hamburgers and hotdogs in your backyard…the unofficial start to summer?

Remember Memorial Day…when ALL small towns had a parade, veterans marching in their uniforms, small children waving the American Flag? High school bands marched proudly, playing patriotic tunes. Remember Memorial Day?

Remember the Civil War, Flanders (October, 1914), Omaha Beach (June 6, 1944), Vietnam, Iraq (Gulf War) and the continuing battles of today. Remember the men that fought in those battles, some giving their lives for us and our freedom, so many living with the memories of those battles. That is what today is for, remembering those that have died.

PLEASE remember Memorial Day. Fly your American Flag proudly, teach your small children the significance of today. Watch a parade if you can, wear a red Poppy. If you see any of our armed forces on the street, thank them for their service…and REMEMBER.

A Day to Remember

Where are you, rotary phones and typewriters?

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Remember the days when your telephone rang and you went to a certain location in your HOME and answered it? You stood by the base in your kitchen or sat down in a comfy chair, (because you placed your telephone by a comfy chair) because you were attached to the base of your phone? How about typing? You hit the keys with force on those old typewriters…typing a letter was a workout and really did a number on your nails. There wasn’t an ‘enter’ key on those old machines. Or a ‘delete’ key. You kept bottles of white stuff around for the eventual mistake.

There are times when I really miss those days. I’ve never claimed to be any kind of a ‘tech’ person. Don’t even know or understand the lingo. But I think of myself as fairly able to get around a computer or set up a new phone, etc. Until hours like this morning. Yes hours. Hours of trying to figure out how to work this site. About the time I think I have it down, I lose something and I can’t remember how to get it back again. I guess I will have to ask my 10 year old what to do. Children today seem to be born with the ‘tech’ gene. Their little fingers know how to type and they can abbreviate before they turn a year old. I thought it was kind of neat when other kids my age spoke pig Latin when I was a child. I could say my name. Children today have a whole other language that you have to decode to have a conversation with them. If you don’t have Facebook, Twitter, etc. you can even forget the conversation!

Yes, I do miss the slower, less complicated days of technology. But I do appreciate my laptop and my cell phone in case I need it for an emergency. If I text you, you will know how much effort went into that message. So, please bear with me as I learn to use this site. Strange things may show up and you may try to ‘click’ on something and find nothing. Just give me a few days…or hours. I’ll catch up…eventually.

Parenting 101

Parenting 101…Boundaries make happy parents and happy children…really!

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Have you ever driven down an interstate, swerving over white lines and rumble strips? Scraping the car next to you and bumping the one in front? How about pushing a grocery cart down a fully stocked aisle, crashing into shelves? Or decided to use your neighbor’s swimming pool because it was a hot day and you didn’t have one? These are rather silly scenarios to make a point.

Boundaries are not the enemy, they’re our friends and children need to understand this at an early age. It makes for happy parents and happy children. Think how frustrated you feel when you walk into a situation and you don’t know the rules or ‘boundaries’. If you spent your day everyday in this type of setting, you’d be throwing temper tantrums as well!

Children of all ages structure their security by their boundaries or what is expected of them. They know the rules. No rules or boundaries, frustration sets in. Babies cry, toddlers throw tantrums, older children nag, scream, fight, and teenagers tell their parents to take a hike and do whatever they want. No, I’m not a professional in the strictest sense of the word, but I’ve had five children and I’m sharing what I’ve observed and lived over the years. Boundaries make happy children…really.

As I’ve shared with my daughter many times over the almost six years of her parenting life, the best way to establish boundaries, especially in younger children is to be consistent. As a parent, don’t establish, say or threaten ANYTHING that you won’t be willing to adhere to. Then, SAY it once and ACT the second time. It won’t take much time to establish the boundaries if you as the parent stick by this religiously. Example: as soon as a child is born, have a routine and stick with it as best as you can. Yes, you have to be more flexible with babies, you have to learn to communicate with them. But they are extremely smart little individuals and they will know your weakness very quickly. Have getting up,nap, play, eating and going to bed routines. If you stick with this most days, your children will know the boundaries at a very early age. They will become frustrated when that routine doesn’t happen. They will be secure in their little life and understand that mommy/daddy love them when they know what is expected of them. As children grow up, adjust the routine, but still have one.

How many times have you been shopping and seen the child wanting something? It can be toys, candy while checking out, clothing when they’re older. The parent says maybe or no, the child asks again and again and the parent starts to doubt the answer they gave. The child senses this and goes in for the kill. The nagging and begging starts and can accelerate into tantrums if not addressed. Many years ago I witnessed a five or six year old child kicking and screaming on the floor at the checkout because they still wanted the cereal I saw the mother tell the child ‘no’ to several aisles before. Guess what? The mother went and got the cereal and threw it into the cart saying, “Will you stop asking now?” Only until the next time the child wants something they can’t have.

The scenarios I gave above were pretty over the top. But I guarantee you, they’ve happened at some point in time. Usually in those situations the law will be called in before someone gets hurt. When you drive on the interstate, you stay within the lines. Those are your boundaries. When pushing a shopping cart, you don’t bang into the shelves. On a hot day, you don’t swim in your neighbor’s pool unless they invite you. So, teaching your children the boundaries at an early age will make for a happy life…really.

Marriage

Just Because…

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I don’t think many men would relate to this or understand. I know my husband definitely doesn’t. And that’s okay. God made him different than me and I am so very thankful for that! Being married for 30+ years has had its ups and downs, but I can say with assurance that it has been a learning experience. That’s a good thing. If you’ve been around for any length of time…you should have learned something along the way. If nothing else…don’t repeat that again!

Back to what I started to write. I think women just have the need to COMMUNICATE. It doesn’t have to be important. If it’s not important they can make it so. Women in general, in my opinion need to have that verbal interplay. My husband doesn’t really have that need. He will talk when asked a question, he will have a conversation. But he is probably just as content to not have it. I have conversations…Just Because!

Because the sun is shining and I want to rejoice in that, the clouds are growing dreary and heavy and I want to commiserate. My child has done something I’m pleased with or frustrated about. The washing machine marched across the room again with a full load of jeans and by the way, “Did I tell you? Oh… I did.” My children probably want that one engraved on my headstone! I’m sorry, with five children I tend to forget which one I told what story to. Just Because…

This isn’t a new idea. Women have been getting together for centuries. Quilting, births, meals for various activities like weddings and funerals were always a time for women to get together and share their life. Talking to other women, sharing child care, observing older women in their lives as wives and mothers was a way to be encouraged and instructed. We have lost much of that in our modern times. Everyone is in such a rush that it’s hard to find the time to talk…Just Because.

Marriage

A Wedding…Buttercream or Fondant?

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IMG_2475 IMG_0722I’ve decorated a few cakes in my day. I took the Wilton cake decorating course when I was 18. Believe me, when the course was over I don’t think my family or prayer meeting group wanted to see another cake from me again! We even left half a cake along side a road in Arizona. (And no, we just left the cake, no box or cardboard to litter.) I had made it for my grandparent’s anniversary. After the celebration, the rest of the cake was with us. All those buttercream red roses took on a smell all their own and none of us could stand it anymore. So, we set it beside the road. I hope no unsuspecting desert animal became sick from that one!

So, I made cakes. Birthday cakes usually, a few anniversaries here and there, one wedding cake…which I don’t want to do again! I even entered one in our local fair. But that’s another story. I made cakes when I didn’t even know fondant was a food product, (although I’m still not sure it is!)

Back to the wedding cakes. The trendy, popular covering on your cake of today is the fondant. It is beautiful in it’s clean lines, simplicity and elegance. You can make items out of that you would never dream of. But think back to the buttercream days.The talent of the crumb layer and then the smooth top coat. I’ve  seen some truly beautiful cakes from this as well.

But this post is more than just the ‘topping on the cake’. Remember, this is just my opinion and thoughts on this matter. I would truly love to hear yours as well. For me, the fondant symbolizes what weddings have become. Everything perfect and just right, not a rose petal out of place or a wrinkle in sight. Huge celebrations and expense to go with it, meals for 300 and attendants lining the sides of the church. The Bride and Groom are center stage, but I think get lost in the shuffle. Certainly exhausted after planning the celebration of the century. The ‘Buttercream Days’ for me, symbolize a more relaxed time. The wedding cake was still beautiful, but maybe not perfect. Weddings were about the couple, their family and close friends. It was their time to rejoice and celebrate the union of the two people and their families. You usually didn’t try to ‘wine and dine’ several hundred people. You didn’t go into debt to pay for a few hours of partying. What has our focus become? Is it about the couple and their vows, or how fantastic the wedding is?

There’s a trend toward tiny houses now. Maybe we can relax on the expectations and ‘clean lines’ of our lives. Maybe we can again enjoy the buttercream frosting and focus on what really matters. I know it would certainly take the pressure off me! We have four daughters, two more to get married. You know why I want the buttercream! (It DOES just really taste better!)