Author: deborahanndykeman

Writing has always been a love of mine. Except for school reports! I didn't cherish those moments. I began with poems in grade school, and short little stories that I illustrated. I created something for each family celebration and probably wore my family out. But I graduated to a longer 'book' by the time I was 18. Following traditional romance novel writing, I pounded out a pretty cheesy story on a Royal typewriter I had found at a garage sale. You didn't worry about your nails when using one of those! When four of our five children were still young, I wrote my first full-length book back in 1998. I followed it with three more in that series. Those are my current WIP, needing many updates and editing. I'm happy to say as of this writing, the fourth in the Love Defined series is written and waiting for edits! I can't wait to get this final book in the series into my reader's hands! Currently, I have published twelve books, creating the covers on most of them. The cover work is something I really enjoy! Stay tuned for more on that. My husband and I have been married for forty-one years, and we have five children and nine grandchildren. I've been a homeschooling mom, Sunday school teacher, AWANA director and a pastor's wife. I've worked as a CNA and an Activity Director. When I'm not busy writing...which I love, BTW, I'm working on home projects, marketing and attending events, where I love to meet you...my readers!
A Day to Remember

Nostalgia…the word for today

deborahanndykeman
I always wondered how you could have nostalgia for something you never experienced. Here is the definition:
nos·tal·gia
näˈstaljə,nəˈstaljə/
noun
 1. a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations
The time periods and places I have a sentimental longing  or a wistful affection for in the past, are things that I have never experienced and I really don’t have a happy personal association with. And as I have posted before…I’m in the wrong time period…in my opinion!
I’ve always loved the Civil War decade in history. The plantations were beautiful and the clothing was extravagant and lovely. But that’s not how I would have been living. My ancestors were generally pretty poor and farmers on my father’s side of the family. Hardworking, yes, but not sitting on the veranda sipping a mint julep. They were sitting on the porch smoking a corn-cob pipe wearing hob-nail boots…and those were the females! No, I never experienced that, but I have nostalgia for that period in history.
The next decade or so was just after the second World War. My Rubyville series is living those years for parts of two books. The research for that has been exciting and I’ve learned so much! I think that after that war, America was filled with hope and a sense of accomplishment. Fathers went to work and mothers stayed home, raising the children, generally. Life was more simple and I think people were more content with their lot. And they enjoyed their little world.
No, I was not alive during these years following that war, but I had grandparents that were and I’ve spent a lot of time in assisted livings and nursing homes. I’ve loved hearing the stories. Life was not all a bed of roses, but I think there was a peace and contentment then that is lacking today.
When I was a teenager, I loved the fifties. I wore circle skirts and saddle shoes to school…a lot, and I listened to the music of that time period. I had nostalgia for the fifties, and I still do. I have SiriusXM in my car so I can listen to ’50’s on 5.
vintage-1950s-887272__180 Love this picture!
When I was a teenager, I wanted to have a red, 1957 Chevy Bel Air someday. A Ford Thunderbird that same year would have been fine as well. I would still love to dress that way…if it didn’t look so strange. Again, there was a sense of family and femininity that seems lacking today.
Maybe that’s why I enjoy writing so much. I can re-create these worlds that I missed out on. My characters can waltz in a ballgown, full skirts over hoops with tiny slippers upon their feet. They can dance the Lindy Hop to the Big Band music of so many great artists, their saddle shoes keeping time. My characters can ride around in great old cars…and for them, it’s today.

The 1960’s swept in, the decade I was born in. I didn’t care much for the styles during that decade and they seemed to just go down from there. Pretty much the same for the music. The cars lasted until the early 1970’s and then the last of the muscle cars were gone.

I’ve lived since 1964. I can appreciate some clothing, music and cars over my years here on this earth. But I have nostalgia for all those decades before.

Just For Fun!

Laugh

deborahanndykeman

Some days you just need to have a good laugh. Our second oldest shared these ‘kid snippets’ with us a few years ago, and I enjoy them. For the reason I’m watching them today, you can read my post on procrastination! 😉

These little videos are acted out by adults, but the original conversation is between children. I think it’s funny to view what children think of us and adult situations. Sometimes their take is probably as ridiculous as we sound. I’m going to share this one about Trick-or-Treating, but there are many to watch. It helped me brighten my day for a few minutes before I get down to work. Enjoy!

Our Christian Walk

Change YOU First

deborahanndykeman

Change can only begin within each one of us. Yes, I’ve seen and heard the depressing news once again. No, I don’t want to get too political and rant on here. Sometimes though, little thoughts just come out and have to be shared.

We all have a set of standards and rules for our lives, whatever they be. The most liberal person in the world still has ideas and values that he/she holds to. Each of us has opinions whether we choose to share them or not. Any one of us can make a change for the good or bad…and it’s completely our decision. Yes, we can be caught up in stuff that was not our making or our desire, but how we relate and interact with that is totally ours.

We have the ability to change. Change our thinking patterns, change our reactions, change our views and change our circumstances in life. We are not usually victims of anything or anyone other than ourselves. And by chance, if you are a true victim, you have the ability to deal with that in a positive way in your life. There are countless examples of people that have overcome substantial loss materially and physically in their lives. And they have survived to go on and succeed once more.

Change can only begin within each one of us. We can choose to live our lives and not be angry or depressed about what is happening all around us…from within our own families to our world. We can choose to love rather than hate, live being content rather than seeking revenge. This life isn’t about what color you are…we are all created equal. It’s not about seeking revenge…God will take care of that. It’s about accepting Him and applying His Truths to your life. If you apply love to others in your world and you are content in any situation as you deal with it as you need to…change will happen.

The world situation is not about what everyone else is doing. It’s about what you are doing.

Our Christian Walk

The Color of Heartbreak 

deborahanndykeman

Heartbreak knows no color Violence has no shame. Hate is only destroyed by perfect love. Perfect love casts out all fear. Justice belongs to He who saves.  “The Son of Man came to save t…

Source: The Color of Heartbreak 

Our Christian Walk

Home is…

deborahanndykeman

You may remember them from back in the day: the framed wall décor – crafted by needlepoint or cross stitch or calligraphy – proclaiming Home is Where the Heart is. The saying was usually flanked by tiny houses and hearts in a country blue setting. I may have made one or two of them myself. […]

via Where the Heart is — A Fierce Quest

A Day to Remember

We Went Out With a Bang

deborahanndykeman

It’s all over, and the clean-up begins. As you know, here in the United States of America, we celebrated our Independence Day yesterday. The Declaration of Independence was signed on July 4, 1776. I included this meme on Face Book yesterday to remember that day, because that is why we celebrate.

Independence Day

Now the actual way we all celebrate is a bit different. I don’t know when the traditions began, but they have been there at least since the 1960’s when I was a child. I would assume that there were parades, but I personally haven’t seen as many for the 4th of July as I used to. Very sad in my opinion.

So, the typical way to celebrate is to have a picnic…hot dogs and hamburgers, maybe potato salad and coleslaw. Potato chips and carbonated drinks are high on the list for food items as well. It seems to be very popular to make a cake that is decorated like an American flag with strawberries and blueberries on it. I think it’s a great idea…I’ve just never made one. People go camping, boating, spend time with family and just generally have a fun week-end.

This past three-day holiday here in Kansas was a bit on the cool and rainy side. Well, torrential downpour side. We needed the rain…and we got it. In bucket loads. I know it probably put a real damper on some people’s plans for the week-end, but I rather enjoyed the cool, cloudy weather. It was a nice break from the three digit temperatures we’ve had in June this year!

And then everyone goes out with a Bang! The fireworks here in our little town were really spectacular from the videos I’ve seen and from what people have said. Fireworks have never been a ‘must see’ for me…but maybe that is another post. Now, there’s nothing left but the clean-up. Traveling through our town this morning was like steering through an obstacle course. For some reason, the side roads seem to be a great place to light fireworks. Not so good when you have to drive. Just a side note…please clean-up your mess! It would be very much appreciated! 😉 Fireworks are extremely expensive in my opinion…so if you would rather, you can just throw money in my yard and I will gladly pick that up rather than burnt rockets, etc. 😉

Happy Independence Day, America!

Marriage, Where do I go?

I’m Not a Procrastinator!

deborahanndykeman

Yes, I am procrastinating! I love to write. I adore getting into that very special little space where the ideas, dialogue, and story is flowing faster than I can type. But some days, I keep putting off the begin time. This is one of those days.

typing-296047__180

I’ve accomplished all the ‘tasks’ I set for myself each day before I write. You know the ones. Dishes, laundry, vacuuming, and just general upkeep of a home so you don’t have to shovel out after a couple of weeks.

But I just can’t seem to ‘jump’ in this morning. Maybe it’s because I was interrupted during a really great, pivotal scene last night. (Really…I can’t write when I’m being stared at!) And now I’m afraid to try again because of plans I have later. I don’t want to be side-tracked . If you are a writer, you know how frustrating that can be. After you try to write a scene several times…in my case it just loses some of the ‘oomph’.

Life is rather like that for all of us at times. The best laid plans and that sort of thing. I’m not really a very flexible person. The humor is there, in the fact that I had five children and a husband that drove over the road. Anyone with children understands that your day doesn’t always, (almost never) goes as planned. But we all survived.

That last statement brings me to why I started procrastinating this morning. It was Face Book…again. No, it’s not their fault, but it’s probably the number one time waster for me. I stopped writing last night because our second daughter had given me a challenge to post pictures of my husband and I when we first met, and then a recent one. I posted that last night, and then this morning I had to check it…of course!

So, I will share the pictures with you all. That statement about survival also pertains to these pictures. My husband and I have survived. We started out as children, young and full of exuberance, and half our size. The first one was taken right after our wedding rehearsal on October 19, 1984. The second one was taken last fall, October 4, 2015. We haven’t changed a bit, have we? 😉

The third one is just a bonus shot for all of you. It was taken on October 19, 1984.

October 19, 1984 day before wedding.

We were raking my parents yard. Cleaning it up a bit before our reception at their home the next day. My parents had just purchased the property in upstate New York, the Catskill Mountain area. It was a mess when they moved in, as you can see from the roof of the pump house. But it was beautiful when they moved fifteen years later! My husband and I were commenting on how it looked like we were on a set. Then our youngest daughter asked who the man was.

This last one was of us in September 1984, just after we were engaged. We were taking pictures for the newspaper to announce our engagement.

September 1984 engagement picture for newspaper

So many memories…and that’s how I got off-track in my writing last night…and now this morning! I know you all never do that! Have a great Thursday…and now…back to that scene!

 

Just For Fun!

Handyman Special

deborahanndykeman

I spent the better part of yesterday in Menards with my son. He has a couple projects he is working on at his place. So, he was picking up supplies and wanted to know what his options were. I’m great at figuring out all the possibilities and I love designing it. But having the money to complete the project, and now the energy is another matter!

And no, the above pictures have nothing to do with our son’s place…unfortunately!

At one time, these ‘Big Box Stores’ as they call them were one of my favorite places to be. It was thrilling to be in there for hours, just wandering through all the products. My mind would race with all the possibilities of what ‘we’ could do at our house.

Not so much anymore! After four hours in there, my brain was swimming and in serious need of rescuing! Yes, we found some great deals, my son now has some wonderful plans to put into working order. All my mind can concentrate on is: Contractor anyone?

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Our Christian Walk

Our Choice

deborahanndykeman

Last week I had posted on my struggles with posting. Not about the ability to, but the content and the quality. Sometimes it is difficult to share our innermost thoughts and emotions. Doing so strips us of our coverings of pride and faith in our selves and our abilities. It leaves us open and bare for more hurt.

Writers, in my opinion, use writing in whatever genre, whatever mode, to express this. Some writers are very open and lay it all out there. Others, not so much, or they may step out and view it from afar, thus avoiding the pain or the opening of a wound.

This would be especially true in the case of abuse, whether it be emotional or physical, or a combination of both.

Such is the story line for my third book in the ‘Rubyville’ series, A Place to Heal.

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All authors write what they know to a very large extent. Yes, you can research and write a very good story. But there is something about having lived it that always comes through to the reader, whether they know it or not. My third book in this series deals with spousal abuse. I pray that I dealt with it appropriately, without slogging through too much. Sometimes less is more.

No, in my husband’s defense, he has never been abusive. He has always been loving and kind, quiet and reserved. Just what I needed after having dated someone that was abusive. That time period in my life was very difficult and disastrous to my entire family because we were all young, and trusting. Damage was done that we’ve all lived with for thirty plus years. Some of us have had therapy, and that helped in certain areas. But we all still have to live with it.

Last week, I heard that this person had passed away. Very young in my opinion, had lived many years, very sick. Did it free me? I always thought it would. But it did not in my case. For many years ago, I made the decision that what had happened would not destroy me or my life. That was when I was free. That doesn’t mean that there weren’t days, weeks or months of struggles trying to live with my damaged soul. It means I wanted to go on from that time period. I feel very sad for that person, dying so young, but he had decisions to make and opportunities as well.

I pray my third story shows that you can make changes in your life. Abuse on any level doesn’t have to destroy you. I fully believe that we can decide how we live our lives. We can rise each day and be bitter, thinking about the past or even present and wallow in that hurt. Or we can make a change. No, it doesn’t usually happen immediately and there is usually fall-out. But you can start down the right path at any time. It is up to you.

I have chosen to live my life with God’s direction. Yes, He allows terrible things to happen in our lives. The book of Job is an extremely good example of this. Know, I don’t understand why He allows this. I don’t understand why the events that took place over thirty years ago were allowed in my Christian family. But they did happen. I personally feel that they made me stronger…but that has taken many years.

The biggest take-away from this is: It’s not the events themselves. It is what we do to handle those events and our attitude toward them. We choose what steps to take in our lives…all of us do. What is your choice for today?

Writing

Are You Botching Your Dialogue?

deborahanndykeman

This is a great post for you writers and editors out there. Really made me think, and I know I have to work on this in my own writing! Enjoy and learn!

Today we are going to talk about dialogue. Everyone thinks they are great at it, and many would be wrong. Dialogue really is a lot trickier than it might seem. Great dialogue is one of the most vita…

Source: Are You Botching Your Dialogue?