Just Because…

I don’t think many men would relate to this or understand. I know my husband definitely doesn’t. And that’s okay. God made him different than me and I am so very thankful for that! Being married for 30+ years has had its ups and downs, but I can say with assurance that it has been a learning experience. That’s a good thing. If you’ve been around for any length of time…you should have learned something along the way. If nothing else…don’t repeat that again!

Back to what I started to write. I think women just have the need to COMMUNICATE. It doesn’t have to be important. If it’s not important they can make it so. Women in general, in my opinion need to have that verbal interplay. My husband doesn’t really have that need. He will talk when asked a question, he will have a conversation. But he is probably just as content to not have it. I have conversations…Just Because!

Because the sun is shining and I want to rejoice in that, the clouds are growing dreary and heavy and I want to commiserate. My child has done something I’m pleased with or frustrated about. The washing machine marched across the room again with a full load of jeans and by the way, “Did I tell you? Oh… I did.” My children probably want that one engraved on my headstone! I’m sorry, with five children I tend to forget which one I told what story to. Just Because…

This isn’t a new idea. Women have been getting together for centuries. Quilting, births, meals for various activities like weddings and funerals were always a time for women to get together and share their life. Talking to other women, sharing child care, observing older women in their lives as wives and mothers was a way to be encouraged and instructed. We have lost much of that in our modern times. Everyone is in such a rush that it’s hard to find the time to talk…Just Because.

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A Wedding…Buttercream or Fondant?

IMG_2475 IMG_0722I’ve decorated a few cakes in my day. I took the Wilton cake decorating course when I was 18. Believe me, when the course was over I don’t think my family or prayer meeting group wanted to see another cake from me again! We even left half a cake along side a road in Arizona. (And no, we just left the cake, no box or cardboard to litter.) I had made it for my grandparent’s anniversary. After the celebration, the rest of the cake was with us. All those buttercream red roses took on a smell all their own and none of us could stand it anymore. So, we set it beside the road. I hope no unsuspecting desert animal became sick from that one!

So, I made cakes. Birthday cakes usually, a few anniversaries here and there, one wedding cake…which I don’t want to do again! I even entered one in our local fair. But that’s another story. I made cakes when I didn’t even know fondant was a food product, (although I’m still not sure it is!)

Back to the wedding cakes. The trendy, popular covering on your cake of today is the fondant. It is beautiful in it’s clean lines, simplicity and elegance. You can make items out of that you would never dream of. But think back to the buttercream days.The talent of the crumb layer and then the smooth top coat. I’ve  seen some truly beautiful cakes from this as well.

But this post is more than just the ‘topping on the cake’. Remember, this is just my opinion and thoughts on this matter. I would truly love to hear yours as well. For me, the fondant symbolizes what weddings have become. Everything perfect and just right, not a rose petal out of place or a wrinkle in sight. Huge celebrations and expense to go with it, meals for 300 and attendants lining the sides of the church. The Bride and Groom are center stage, but I think get lost in the shuffle. Certainly exhausted after planning the celebration of the century. The ‘Buttercream Days’ for me, symbolize a more relaxed time. The wedding cake was still beautiful, but maybe not perfect. Weddings were about the couple, their family and close friends. It was their time to rejoice and celebrate the union of the two people and their families. You usually didn’t try to ‘wine and dine’ several hundred people. You didn’t go into debt to pay for a few hours of partying. What has our focus become? Is it about the couple and their vows, or how fantastic the wedding is?

There’s a trend toward tiny houses now. Maybe we can relax on the expectations and ‘clean lines’ of our lives. Maybe we can again enjoy the buttercream frosting and focus on what really matters. I know it would certainly take the pressure off me! We have four daughters, two more to get married. You know why I want the buttercream! (It DOES just really taste better!)