Author: deborahanndykeman

Writing has always been a love of mine. Except for school reports! I didn't cherish those moments. I began with poems in grade school, and short little stories that I illustrated. I created something for each family celebration and probably wore my family out. But I graduated to a longer 'book' by the time I was 18. Following traditional romance novel writing, I pounded out a pretty cheesy story on a Royal typewriter I had found at a garage sale. You didn't worry about your nails when using one of those! When four of our five children were still young, I wrote my first full-length book back in 1998. I followed it with three more in that series. Those are my current WIP, needing many updates and editing. I'm happy to say as of this writing, the third in the Love Defined series is almost ready to be released! Currently, I have eleven published books. My husband and I have been married for forty-one years, and we have five children and nine grandchildren. I've been a homeschooling mom, Sunday school teacher, AWANA director and a pastor's wife. I've worked as a CNA and an Activity Director. A new love of mine is book cover designing! Stayed tuned for more on that. When I'm not busy writing...which I love, BTW, I'm working on home projects, marketing and attending events, where I love to meet you...my readers!
Writing

Have YOU been scammed?

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Life can be frustrating at times! We’ve all said this, thought it, maybe shouted it out and not been too pleased with our actions after the fact. Life is also not fair. Unjust actions, words and thoughts happen. That’s the way it is.

My topic for today…copyright. Last night, while checking reviews on my book, my daughter came across a site named, DJ Maza that was advertising my book for free. There was some kind of  blurb about normally having to pay for this book, but at that site you didn’t have to. As the publisher of this book, I generally know who has my books and where they are available.

To Thee I'm Wed-2

So this morning, I did a little research. When my daughter tried to access this site to get ‘my’ book they wanted her to jump through a lot of hoops. She never did get to it. She mentioned that at some point, you would probably have to pay money to access something. This morning, when I went to the same site, you couldn’t find ‘my’ book. I checked all my distributors this morning, and from what I could find, DJ Maza Books was not among them. They could be at some affiliate that I am not aware of, and I didn’t try that name in a bunch of different scenarios. By that I mean: all lower case, all run together, etc.

Life is not ‘fair’, it’s not ‘just’ under man’s terms. Wrong and bad things happen. There will always be people ready to cash in on someone’s work. That’s just the way it is. Please remember, when an artist, musician, photographer, writer, etc. has work published, there are copyright laws to protect their work. People can and do steal it, but it’s WRONG.

‘To Thee I’m Wed’ is available through the sites listed here on my blog. A short list of those sites is Amazon, Barnes and Noble and CreateSpace for the printed versions. Barnes and Noble, Smashwords and some other sites for the e-version. There are many different places with the book now, so I don’t want to list them all here. For the holiday season of Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day, I have lowered the price of the e-book to $2.99. If you have a business card, you may use the code on the back to get another 50% off toward your purchase. For those of you that do not have the code on a business card, the code is: DN98A. Again, this code is good through December 31, 2015. If you are a library, wishing to purchase the e-version, your price is $1.99. As far as I know, you may also be able to use the code. For those of you in the Council Grove area, ‘To Thee I’m Wed’ is available at the library, in paperback.

I appreciate you, the consumer! I appreciate all the great words and compliments given and the reviews. Please remember to view my book, and read the portion given for free from the sites I’ve listed. We can each do our small part to NOT encourage those that scam and take advantage of other people. Thank you, so much, for your help with this!

Just For Fun!

Gone With the Wind

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My absolute favorite characters from any book or movie are Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara. I first read ‘Gone With the Wind’ when I was a young child, but I watched the movie first. I don’t remember the reason, but the movie was showing at our little theater in the town I grew up in and my mother took my brother and I to see it because she had enjoyed it so much.( I think my father said he had slept through most of it the first time he watched it! My husband did the same after I coerced him into watching it with me!)

My inspiration

The movie made a HUGE impact on me. The Civil War was and still is my favorite era. I loved the clothes they wore, the houses they lived in. Yes, I know not everyone lived on a plantation, but in my dreams I would. The concept of slavery and the difficult political situation was lost on me as a nine-year old and all I could think of was the romantic part of the movie. I wanted to meet a ‘Rhett Butler’ someday and be swept away.

At some point, I happened to be in an old book store in that same little town. Wouldn’t you know, they had a very old copy of ‘Gone With the Wind’ and I snatched it up with my paper route money. I read that book in its entirety and loved it! I learned much about the battles that were fought and gained a bit more clearer thinking of the Civil War and what it entailed. Of course I read it several more times over the years, loving the worn gray/blue cover and yellowed pages. It had a smell all its own. I’m afraid that copy ended up in a flood we had in our basement many years ago, because it went missing shortly after that. I still miss it!

I remember thinking as a child that the title for the book was exceptional. That era; the clothing, the mannerisms, the plantations were all truly gone after the Civil War ended. That time period didn’t return. The south was crippled. Again, this post is not to get involved into the issues of slavery…many horrendous things happened during that time period. The south could not continue as it was and probably for the better. But I will always love and enjoy the sweeping grandeur of the movie, the actors, the colors that were so vibrant.

When I think of writing, and great Authors, I think of Margaret Mitchell. Just a housewife, plucking out a great story on her typewriter. That doesn’t come along too often.

The above picture hangs above my desk where I write… for inspiration. This picture means a lot to me because it was a puzzle my husband purchased last Christmas with MANY pieces. Our family spent the first part of the New Year of 2015 putting it together. So not only does the picture mean a lot to me, the memories I will always have assembling it are very special as well!

 

Writing

It Begins Here…

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fall5

Well, after a month of a lot of ‘stuff’ happening around our house, I was able to get back to writing. It may not sound like much, but it is a huge accomplishment for me. I am working on the second book in a series of four or five. My daughter is editing the first book. Usually, if I can get into the ‘zone’ of writing I can type out about 10 pages in a day on a good day. The big obstacle lately has been being able to get into that ‘zone’.

If you write, you know what I’m talking about. This probably applies to most anything actually. You have to get into that space in time when you can only concentrate on that project. But life happens and it is difficult to put other things aside at times.

A cabin, far away in the woods at the top of a mountain sounds pretty peaceful and like a great place to be. But I wouldn’t want to be there alone for long. I would really like my husband to be there with me. He is rather low maintenance most of the time. It’s just nice to have him near by.

So, I’ll be dreaming about that cabin as I sleep tonight and of course the plot of the story I’m working on! You all have a great night as well.

Our Christian Walk

I’ll Be Me -Glen Campbell

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Last night my husband and I watched the movie about Glen Campbell and his diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. The movie follows him and his family on his Farewell Tour. Included is a couple of doctor visits and home movies of Glen Campbell when he was younger, with his family. Of course there is some great music and clips from concerts and shows that he has performed in over the years.

For me, the movie was very sad. I think it was filmed wonderfully. The disease of Alzheimer’s was handled gently and with respect to Mr. Campbell and his family. I so appreciate that they ‘let us in’ for the year of filming and were candid about what was taking place in their lives. It was very informative and I learned new information about the disease.

I’ve worked as a CNA and in rest homes over the years. I’ve seen what Alzheimer’s can do to the person with the disease and to the family. It is such a heartache to watch someone that has been a spouse, parent, grandparent and friend…change so drastically over a period of time.

Our memories of life can bring heartache, but so many are centered around joy and the person with this disease is slowly robbed of the ability to remember. Our families are usually our greatest happiness and to walk into a room and have that family member not recall who you are, or how you fit in to their life…well, is heartbreaking.

My own mother has not been diagnosed, but I am fairly certain she has the disease. This hit home just a couple of weeks ago. It will be a trial to even get her in to see a doctor to have the diagnosis…but the signs are pretty clear.

I often wonder why God would allow such a thing to happen to people. Our minds are such a beautiful, complicated jumble of thoughts, emotions and senses. How devastating to be here and have vacancy where so much has taken place for so many years! But God does know, He has a plan. I don’t understand all the intricacies of why my own brain works, but God designed it and I rely on it now. I use it every second to do something, whether it be typing, reading, smelling, eating, walking…and the list goes on. I have faith that I can perform those tasks, I don’t have to think about them or figure it out. I take my abilities for granted much of the time.

Just a reminder to myself and all of you reading this post. Life is short, but it is the time God has given us here on this earth. Redeem the time. Enjoy what God has given you…the family and friends you have, the seasons of the year. Visually take in each sight and vibrant color, smell the damp leaves and really taste each bite of food. Hug your children, no matter how old they are and hold the hand of your loved one…and remember. It is the gift you’ve been given.

 

A Quick Thought

Getting Rid of the Dust Bunnies!

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We’ve had some cooler weather here in Kansas and Thanksgiving is right around the corner. It’s put me in a different mood…needing a little change.  So I’m cleaning house! Actually, I have most of my fall cleaning done, but I wanted to tidy up here. I’m still trying to figure out WordPress and all the bells and whistles. So please bear with me!

I know when I’m reading something, I like it to be colorful and easy to read. I absolutely LOVE fancy fonts…but they are not so wonderful for this site. I adore muted colors and an old-fashioned look to something, but also maybe not the best for posting.

So stick with me as I find my little comfy chair in blogging. I may change it up a bit here and there, once in awhile.  And as always, please let me know what you think!

Marriage

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

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My parents have been married fifty-two years today. I always remember their anniversary years because they were married one year when I was born. That may not sound like much…but as I grow older, that’s pretty important to me!

M&M anniversary

What makes a couple commit to fifty-two years of marriage? Let’s set aside the number of years and make it seventy-five, thirty or maybe five. Usually by the time you’ve been married even five years, you know that person fairly well. As the years add up, that knowledge grows…and you still make a commitment to share your life with that person.

This is NOT a post to judge others that don’t make it to many, many years of marriage. Each person has to evaluate their own life and decide what roads they need to take. This post is more about thoughts on why couples DO stay married. And it is different for every marriage.

My book, To Thee I’m Wed, (available on Amazon for $9.99, :)) deals with this topic. Many couples would have decided to go their separate ways under the circumstances that Jason and Kathy Miller faced. But they remained in their marriage. It doesn’t make them better people, just the decision they made.

If you’ve been married more than one year, you know marriage is NOT a ‘bed of roses’, a ‘walk in the park’, or ‘easy peasey’ as we used to say as children. You have days and months that go well and you really love that person you made a commitment to…that may go on for even a year or so. Then…you have hours, days, months and hopefully not too many years when you really don’t feel much love and sometimes don’t even like that person. But you stay committed.

In this day and age, when you don’t want to stay with a phone plan for more than a few months before a better offer comes along, marriage has taken a hit. Years ago, you were married young and you stuck it out. That was your spouse until one of you left this earth. Not so much anymore.

That’s what sparked my interest even more on why a couple decide to stay together in this era when there is always a better phone plan. Because let’s face it, that other person has their less-than-perfect attributes. Sometimes the ‘lovey-dovey’ feelings don’t look past the mud on the floor or the bucket-load of dirty laundry. Think about what makes you stay committed. Are you in it for the ‘long-haul’ or is Verizon calling?

Just For Fun!

Ozark Mountain Memories

deborahanndykeman

missouri in the fallThis was our past five days…Branson, Missouri. My husband and I were very thankful to get away for a while. One of the days was spent driving around the country side. I grew up in Colorado and my husband lived in upstate New York until his mid-twenties. So neither of us were strangers to mountain roads. But it has been a LONG time! Needless to say, after several hours of driving around the back roads north, west, and east of Branson…we were a little jittery. Black-topped roads, twisting among the autumn foliage, no shoulder to speak of and local people driving with confidence, made for an exhausting day. I haven’t been car sick for a few years, so I had the wonderful experience of that again…even sitting in the front seat.

The beauty of the views was extraordinary! Climbing the steep grade, cresting the top with hills covered with the remains of color. Deep valleys below, water shimmering in the distance. You could just picture a small cabin, nestled against the hillside, puffs of smoke from the chimney floating lazily in the cool breeze.

Of course my mind had to drift back to the early years in the Ozarks. Before there were paved roads to make the travel easy. Back to the days when a small cabin was home to a very large family. Water was pumped from a well or carried from a mountain stream. Food for eating was planted on the steep hillside when no flat area was available. Chickens roamed freely, pecking bugs from the ground. The colors of each season greeted you in the morning and at night, the whispering wind sang you a sweet melody.

I didn’t grow up in the Ozarks and I haven’t lived there. But I can imagine all the above and it gave me a sense of homesickness as we were driving through all that beauty. A loss for what once was. The lives of the people that experienced that time period, were difficult, I’m sure. No modern conveniences like stores or doctors nearby. No running water or electricity.

What they did have, was family, friends, and time. Time to appreciate the seasons, time to plant crops, time to sit on the porch and listen to the night sounds. In our world today of ‘hurry, rush, don’t be late’, there isn’t much time for the simple pleasures anymore. The Ozark people of long ago just lived their lives, doing what needed to be done to survive. We do the same in our world today, but it seems so much more complicated. Am I envious of that long-ago world? Yes, in a lot of ways. If a person from that time were dropped in our world of today, they would probably think I was crazy to say that. Then they would return to their porch or hillside and look over the rolling mountains…and sigh with relief.

missouri mountains

Just some thoughts to share on a Thursday afternoon.

Our Christian Walk

I’m under a ton of dirt!

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Have you ever been under a dump truck as it unloaded a ton of topsoil? All that rich, dark, moist, soil pounding your head? Probably not, or you wouldn’t be here reading this! I know a load was about a ton because that was what I had delivered to our yard a few years ago. I remember it being A LOT of dirt and it made for some sore arms the next day, after I had raked it all evenly over the area I wanted it for.

That was the image that came to mind as I thought of this post. I have been buried in a ton of dirt and I’m struggling to breathe right now, much less move. We’ve all had times in our lives when we’ve felt that way. I venture to say more than one time!

I often ask why God doesn’t spread the misery out , just giving out little bits here and there. Then I could manage it well, put a little effort into the situation, take a little breather, sip some tea. I could quote some scripture to all my friends on how well I’m doing with the ‘little’ crisis, thinking I’m a superior testimony. I could then glide along for a few days, weeks, or months before the next ‘bump’ in the road.

But, no, God often sends the deluge, the dump truck of topsoil. When it rains, it pours, the roof is leaking and you don’t have enough containers to hold the dripping water. THAT is the reality of life and our Christian walk with God.

Why is God so cruel, so merciless at times…we feel? After all, love is about giving us what we want and not being too hard on us. Life is about an easy stroll through a fragrant garden if you’re a Christian. Right?

So VERY wrong!!! Use the analogy of your children. As a parent, you love your children. You give them what they want, when they want it. You feed them candy all day, fix only what they decide to eat, let them watch TV, talk on the phone, text…anything they think is best for their life. Because of course they KNOW what is best for their lives. That is how you demonstrate your love for your children. I had five children, and there was NO WAY that above scenario would have EVER worked.

I loved my children…actually I still do today. Because I loved them, they rarely ate candy, I decided what was best for them to eat with an occasional ‘treat’ of a meal for a special occasion. We didn’t have TV to watch and only rarely watched movies. Talking on the phone didn’t happen very often and texting wasn’t really an option  when my oldest three were still at home. But I can guarantee you it wouldn’t have been allowed very much. No, this didn’t make my life easier. Many times it made it more difficult and I had to stay on top of the pile. I did it because I loved my children, and I wanted what was best for them. Eating well kept them from being sick and energized their mind and body. Rarely watching TV or movies kept them from becoming a couch potato. Talking a lot on the phone would have been another time waster as well as texting. I was very big on ‘face-to-face’ communication. I still am. I think it’s a lost art form. But that’s for another post!

I did all this because I LOVED my children and I wanted what was best for them. I wanted them to be happy, well-fed, intelligent and competent adults one day.

God loves us! He does what is best for us in the light of eternity. He wants us to be well-fed on His word…pray without ceasing so our minds aren’t filled with fluff. Why does he send the deluge…the ton of dirt? To stay focused on Him and what is REALLY important in this life. If we had an easy road and what we wanted, we wouldn’t turn to Him for guidance. We would ‘have it covered’.

Be thankful for the ‘occasional special meal’, for the times that you do have a breather. God is allowing rest for your body and mind so you are strong for the next round. With each ’round’, you progress toward the person He has designed you to be. He’ll be there to rescue you from the deluge…in His timing, when He knows it’s best. Just as you would for your own child.

Parenting 101

Rainbow Baby

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Every day I seem to learn something new. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older now and I’m willing to listen and learn or if I really just wasn’t very tuned into what was going on around me. Whatever the case, I love to learn new things.

While I was using Facebook this morning, I saw the term ‘rainbow baby’. Of course the very first thing that came to mind was a baby painted with rainbow stripes. As I’ve said before, I’m very visual and sensory oriented. I thought a rainbow-painted baby would be strange, but maybe cute for photographs. I’ve always loved those pictures taken with a baby in the middle of a flower, by Anne Geddes. Here is one of hers:

baby in a flower

Many of you may already know this, but a ‘rainbow baby’ is a baby that is born after a miscarriage, stillbirth or death of a child. I didn’t know there was a term for it. The term is to portray the happiness or ‘rainbow’ after a stormy time.

Our youngest of six, is our ‘rainbow baby’. Between our fourth and fifth child, I had a miscarriage at ten weeks. My husband was driving over-the-road at the time. He was thrilled about a new baby, me…a little hesitant. We already had four children and I was getting older, heading to forty. Just a little scary. The pregnancy was very different than all the rest. No morning sickness, or I should say all day for the first couple of months. I was tired, but felt very well over all. Again, not like the previous four pregnancies.

Just as I was beginning to accept the idea, knowing that I could handle it, and even getting excited about a new baby, I had the miscarriage. This was a complete shock to me more than anything. After four children, it was not expected. I know it never is, but after four, I just wasn’t thinking of it being a possibility. I was in denial for a couple of weeks, thinking it had all been a mistake, that there really would be a baby born that August of 2003.

In January of 2004, after moving back east, settling our children in school and getting a full-time job, I was pregnant once again. So many emotions were involved this time that hadn’t even been there before! I had decided to change our entire lives with a move, new job and children in school after I had been homeschooling. Needless to say, we were all a little shell-shocked. My husband was also working locally after driving for so many years. When I knew I was pregnant, I was not happy and I was even closer to being forty. After having a previous miscarriage, I didn’t even really accept the pregnancy for a few weeks, knowing that it would end in the same, devastating scenario.

Then came the morning sickness, lasting all day for the regular, (for me) four months. I was so sick and exhausted that the job was stopped. I had older children that were not happy with me ‘ruining’ their lives with another baby. Now don’t misunderstand, our family LOVES children, but when you are seventeen, this is not what you want your parents doing. My husband and second oldest were absolutely thrilled and all I could do was survive and wait for the miscarriage to happen.

When I saw ‘rainbow baby’ today, I knew that was a very appropriate name for our youngest. She arrived in September of 2004 and she was greatly anticipated and loved. She was born just two months shy of my fortieth birthday and one month before we celebrated our twentieth anniversary. That will always be remembered in our family. After the despair and feelings of loss, our youngest was a balm to my soul and helped to heal the hurt in our family. Our fifth child will always be missed. I will always wonder if the baby was a boy or girl and what they would have looked like now, at age twelve. The knowledge that I  will meet him or her someday is a comfort to me. No, I don’t understand why the miscarriage happened. So many things in this life are difficult to understand and don’t make sense. But God knows, and I have faith in that.

A Day to Remember

A Day REALLY makes a difference!

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Wow! ‘What a difference a day makes’! Remember that old saying? I’m going to call it ‘old’ because I remember a song by the same title and it was around before I was! It was sung by Dinah Washington. You can listen to this great song right here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmBxVfQTuvI

For those of you that are a little younger than I, you may prefer this version by Amy Winehouse: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_MllRG5aBU

Or…if you would love to hear a little girl with a VERY big voice, check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSfgCIGd7k4 I absolutely love her long hair!

I love that the last two versions use the original arrangement that Dinah Washington sung. It’s also fantastic to see some younger people singing the ‘oldies but goodies’! Thank you to those that posted the above on YouTube so that I could share them on here.

Yesterday, I was finally able to have the printed version of my book on CreateSpace. That was wonderful enough. But later that night, my oldest daughter was here helping with editing, technical ‘stuff’ again and she checked Amazon. There it was! Now this was especially exciting because CreateSpace had said yesterday that it wouldn’t be available through Amazon for 3-5 business days. There it was! So many people have asked if it would be available at Amazon because it is just easier to purchase through them. It was just amazing to see my book on the Amazon page!!! You may purchase the e-version and the printed version through links on here as well as my Facebook page.

I had a wild, crazy, and exciting ride yesterday in the publishing journey. I woke up this morning to a drippy, overcast sky…usually a little depressing for me. I crave sunlight and occasionally like a cloudy day. But then I remembered that song, which isn’t talking about publishing or the weather. It did seem to fit my thoughts for the day. ‘What a Difference a Day Makes’…I pray your day makes a difference in someone’s life.