Day: June 13, 2015

Parenting 101

Happy First Anniversary, Jon and Courtney…June 7, 2015!

deborahanndykeman

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Life rushes by. We learn to walk as toddlers, skip through our teenage years, run through our young adulthood and now it’s galloping, me holding the reins for dear life. Anyone that has been on a run-away horse knows the feeling well. I want the horse to stop, (slowly of course and not dump me on the ground.)  I want to sit under a huge tree, munching an apple, the sun filtering down through the leaves, a breeze caressing my face and setting the grass around me to a nice sway. I want to lean against that tree, the rough bark gently scratching my back and I want to sit there…for a long time. Then I would replay all the wonderful moments of my life in slow motion, savoring the memories of them, the emotions that assailed me at the time. I would take each one and stroke it gently, holding it close to my heart and locking it there for the years ahead.

My early, growing-up years with my family, my grandfather whistling as he worked. The first time I saw my now-husband walking into church. Our wedding day, him standing so slim and tall at the front of the church…so handsome. The birth of each of our five children. That moment when you meet them for the first time…and your heart, just melts. Our times as a family at Silver Dollar City. The weddings of our two oldest daughters and the births of our three grandchildren. So many other memories as well, but those are the REALLY special ones that always come to mind.

I want to relive them…see them in full, vibrant color. Breathe deeply of each memories’ unique aroma. And I want to experience the rush of each excited heartbeat and little shiver down my spine, the warmth of knowing…you are loved.

Because this time…I would appreciate those memories, I would savor them and slow down, experiencing, reveling, wallowing in each emotion. Okay, probably not, but it would be fun to have a shot at it.

I wrote all of the above to say that I missed our second oldest daughter’s FIRST wedding anniversary. Yes, the first one! I planned for what I wanted to do and thought about it for the week leading up to it…and then I forgot all about it. It was a Sunday after all. Being a pastor’s wife gives me an excuse…right? Wrong!

So, Jon and Courtney, Happy First Anniversary! Know that you are both loved and not forgotten. But I’m riding that runaway horse and looking for the softest mound of dirt to land on. I pray for you a better second year of marriage. We have all been there. The first year is wonderful because you are together…finally. But the first year is a challenge because…you are together. I pray for you a marriage that is built on a strong foundation, each layer laid carefully and thoughtfully. I pray for you a marriage that blends your two worlds as it grows and flourishes. I pray for many wonderful memories. Savor each and every one! I love you both! xoxo

Our Christian Walk

Facebook…a life shared.

deborahanndykeman

Once upon a time I had a Facebook account. Back in the early stages when it was young. I had a farm, (for a very short time,) and I ‘met’ many people from my past. I ‘checked out’ people, just as we all do. My daughter’s friends, friends from years ago…”Wow, they’re aging pretty well, or not so well.” I used it primarily to stay in touch with our two oldest daughters, far away in upstate New York, going to school. I could say, “Hi!” with very little time expended and watch their lives through all the pictures they took.

Once upon a time I had a Facebook…then our oldest daughter married, their oldest son, our first grandchild was terribly burned by a water distiller, I took a full-time job at our local nursing home as an Activities Assistant, we put our two youngest children in school because I was working full-time…and life rushed by.

It doesn’t take a brain scientist to figure out that the above paragraph was a recipe for disaster. Too many HUGE changes in too short of time. I stopped going to the gym, connecting with my children and I stopped writing. And I closed my Facebook. I couldn’t handle what was going on in my own tiny, little world, much less keep up with everyone else’s’.

We all look back on our lives and see situations that we wish we had handled differently. We wonder what life would have been like if we had made a different decision. In some areas we KNOW we should have tackled it from another angle…but it can’t be changed now. So we start down the new, rocky road, kicking aside the stones that bruise us and forge ahead, praying that smooth pavement isn’t too far over the next hill.

I can look back now and know I shouldn’t have taken that full-time job. I should have kept my girls at home with me, just as I had for so many years. Not that it was terrible to put them in school, but it was terrible to make such a huge change at that time. I should have traveled to Ohio to be with our oldest daughter and our grandson. She had a wonderful support system there…her husband’s family. God worked that out much better than we all could have planned. But our daughter should have been the priority…just being there.

I don’t write this with regrets or guilt…well maybe, just a little, I’m a mother. But more to say that we all have a journey, a rough and rocky road to travel. That road is very seldom smoothly paved, dark and glistening in the sunlight. But we do have to travel it. We each have to prioritize our lives.

Once upon a time I had a Facebook.