Author: deborahanndykeman

Writing has always been a love of mine. Except for school reports! I didn't cherish those moments. I began with poems in grade school, and short little stories that I illustrated. I created something for each family celebration and probably wore my family out. But I graduated to a longer 'book' by the time I was 18. Following traditional romance novel writing, I pounded out a pretty cheesy story on a Royal typewriter I had found at a garage sale. You didn't worry about your nails when using one of those! When four of our five children were still young, I wrote my first full-length book back in 1998. I followed it with three more in that series. Those are my current WIP, needing many updates and editing. I'm happy to say as of this writing, the third in the Love Defined series is almost ready to be released! Currently, I have eleven published books. My husband and I have been married for forty-one years, and we have five children and nine grandchildren. I've been a homeschooling mom, Sunday school teacher, AWANA director and a pastor's wife. I've worked as a CNA and an Activity Director. A new love of mine is book cover designing! Stayed tuned for more on that. When I'm not busy writing...which I love, BTW, I'm working on home projects, marketing and attending events, where I love to meet you...my readers!
A Quick Thought

Clean Sheets to Sweat On

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I would like to think that I’m a strong, survival-type person. In my dreams, I could have traveled the prairie, seeking a new home for my family. In those visions, I’m cheery as I sit beside my rugged husband, bumping over the rocky trail, just two ruts in the tall grass. I would be ready to jump from that wagon after a long day, gathering my children for the chores ahead. Building a fire and preparing our evening meal would be the perfect way to end another fruitful day of travel as we neared our destination. Sleeping under the stars, the wind whispering over my little world would lull me to sleep.

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In my dreams!

The reality is that I’m a bit spoiled. Yes, I am a hard-worker, and I could probably survive a lot. But there would be much complaining about the situation. As I sit here and type in my 80+ degree room, the hum of the fan behind me with sweat trickling down by back, I can’t even imagine what those pioneer women went through! I feel as though I’ve been traumatized by the fact that our central air needs to be replaced!

I need to be extremely thankful for all the years that central air plugged away for us. When we moved into this house almost eleven years ago, we knew the heating and air-conditioning unit was used and reconditioned. Each change of season, I’ve prayed that it would work, and it has with the exception of two times. Both times the air-conditioner needed charging, the second time last June. And it didn’t look good then. But, several thousand to replace everything is rather overwhelming. You kind of hope it will just all go away and a storm will go through, cooling everything down.

Well, that won’t happen here in Kansas. Not this time of year. We are looking at another three months or more of 90+ degree heat, every day until mid-September. And that’s when I begin to whine. A lot!

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So, I’ve been trying to focus on what I do have, versus those pioneer women. I have an actual home, not a soddy, or covered wagon. My home has windows that I can open and close. Each night I can take a cool shower in my very nice, remodeled bathroom. I don’t have to bathe in my mixing bowl, or walk to the creek watching for critters. When I’m clean and refreshed, I have clean clothes waiting for me that I’ve washed in my lovely front-loader, and dried in the machine right next to the washing machine. When we are hungry, we can go to our fridge and open the coolness within, and stand there breathing in that cold environment. I don’t have to cook over a cast-iron stove, or campfire unless I really want to, just for the fun of it. And if I’m really miserable and hot, I have a very nice car to ride in that has wonderful cold air.

When I think of it like that, I don’t have much to complain about. I have conveniences that women didn’t have one hundred years ago. I would like to think I could have survived those pioneer days. But I don’t know if I would have. Life was hard, and there wasn’t much time for whining. You just had to survive.

And tonight when I go to bed, I’ll try to remember that I have a bed to sleep on, not blankets piled upon the rocky ground. The mattress may be harder than I like, it may be stifling in the bedroom. But, I have a bed, and clean sheets to sweat on. Life is good!

 

 

social media, Writing

Big Smile!

deborahanndykeman

Branding and marketing are huge if you have a business, want to sell items that you have made, or if you are an author. The list probably goes on for areas where you need to brand and market, but those are just three that came to my mind. Think of brand names that you know. Whether it’s the breakfast cereal you eat before you start your day, or the shoes you put on your feet. The symbols and colors that come to mind speak of that product, and you know exactly what it is. Drive down a strip of road located in a busy city, and your brain will be boggled with all the branding. You don’t even have to read the sign of a restaurant, or fully focus on it. You know what it is. The yellow arches beckon all of us if we are in a hurry for a quick, cold drink or salty order of fries. And you can see those yellow arches from blocks away, maybe even miles away on the interstate.

Branding and marketing take up a very large amount of my time when I’m not working. My author name of, Deborah Ann Dykeman is not known in my small town, much less around the state of Kansas. Forget about the rest of the world! But in order for me to be able to retire my husband before he’s using a walker, and move to the country, my name needs to be know everywhere. And that takes a long time! I want you to see and smell roses when my name is shown to you, and know that I’m an author, and hopefully know what I write about.

So, when someone contacts me and asks to read one of my books, and they will do a review on their site…wow! There is nothing better than that. Sure, at first I thought it would be a scam, but what do I have to lose at this point in my writing career? I always check out another site to see if it’s legitimate of course. It would be crazy in this world today to not do a bit of research before you jump in with both feet. When everything looks pretty good, I proceed.

And I’m so happy I did!

Pople Backyard Farm at http://poplebackyardfarm.blogspot.com contacted me a couple weeks ago, May 17th to be exact. They requested a copy of my fourth book in the Rubyville series, A Place in My Heart. I thought it strange that they requested the fourth book, but I was just so happy they requested it at all! That put a big smile on my face! They said they would do a review and have it posted within a couple of weeks. So of course I checked them out. And boy do they review products! It’s a great site, and you should really see what’s happening over there. They were true to their word. They read my book and posted a great review here, http://poplebackyardfarm.blogspot.com/p/best-reads-for-summer-2017.html for their summer reading reviews. You may have to scroll down to read my review, but I saw some books I would like to read on my way down the list!

Thank you, Pople Backyard Farm for requesting my book, for actually reading it and then writing a review! It is very much appreciated! And I love your site! I would wish you much success, but you seem to be doing really well already! 😉 But still…much success to you!

And remember to enter my giveaways over at Goodreads. This is for the third book in the Rubyville series, A Place to Heal, https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/231878-a-place-to-heal

This is the link for the fourth book, A Place in My Heart, https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/show/231879-a-place-in-my-heart

If you win one of the three, signed, printed books I’m giving away for each giveaway, I’ll have it in the mail to you within a day…really! And please, please, please write a review if you read my books. You can do this where they are sold online: Barnes and Noble, Books-A-Million, Walmart, Target and Amazon. Some of those require a purchase first, but Goodreads does not. Thank you all for your support and helping me on this writing journey! It really does put a big smile on my face! Have a great day!

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A Quick Thought

Don’t Answer That Phone!

deborahanndykeman

Do you remember the good old days when you would sit down to eat your supper, and the phone would ring? You would roll your eyes and sigh, maybe say a few words in your head, (or not), that you would rather the rest of the family didn’t hear. But you would always answer, because it actually might be something important that you needed or wanted to hear. Your curiosity always got the better of you. If the answering machine picked up the call, then you would have to leave the table to listen to the message, because again, your curiosity would not let you finish your meal in peace.

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Yes, those were the good old days, and I thought back then that it couldn’t get any worse, but it has.

We were gone several days over the Memorial Day weekend. It was a lovely time, and as vacations go, it was over much too soon. I no longer leave on my answering machine. I check my caller ID to see who called while we were away, and I return the calls if needed. I do not return calls when I don’t recognize the number. That has worked very well for me over the past several years. And yes, we have an old-fashioned landline for those of you that are still wondering!

When we returned home late Monday night, I dutifully checked the caller ID. I found nine calls from a number I did not recognize. I didn’t even know the area code. But that caller was persistent! The calls were all made over a period of less than two hours. So, when our daughter told me that same number called two more times while I was at work yesterday, I wanted to make sure I answered it if they called again. My curiosity was really working overtime!

They called, and I pounced!

What happened to calling at meal times? What happened to introducing yourself and being polite? What happened to calling America, and speaking clear English? Yes, I do know that America is behind in the area of languages. I only speak one fluently. At one time, after four years of French, I could read it pretty well and pick up a word here and there. But if you’re going to call someone in America, odds are, you had better speak English fairly well.

That number that I did not recognize, an area code I did not know, was supposedly from the Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Many years ago I had a subscription for one year. This man asked me if I wanted to renew my subscription. How do you renew something you don’t currently have?  After I scratched my head on this one, starting to boil a bit with his rude demeanor, I told him I hadn’t had a subscription for many years. Then I started to say, “And I don’t want to–“, and he hung up on me! I usually tell them to take me off their list. With this guy, I would have told him to quit harassing me with the phone calls every few minutes over the course of an hour or so!

Telemarketers and sales people have always been rather a pain to me. Usually, by the time I’m ready to purchase something, I’ve done weeks, months, sometimes years of research on the product. I know what I want and what I want to pay for it. If I have a question, I don’t want to be sold on the product, just  answer the question…politely please. The more I’m pushed, the further away I’m going to go.

After working retail for a couple of years, I really think most people feel the same way. People don’t want to be nagged, prodded, pushed and overwhelmed to make a purchase. And if they do agree to buy that timeshare, insurance policy, vehicle or magazine subscription, just to get that sales person off their back, they probably won’t be very happy with the product.

I pray your Wednesday is off to a wonderful start. Don’t they make you want to smile?

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Parenting 101

Soapbox Post

deborahanndykeman

We’ve all done it…taken our thinking or opinion about a topic or person to the extreme, and lumped it or them into one big melting pot and stirred vigorously. In our world today, this is reaching epic proportions, and it’s rather scary.

I have my hackles raised a bit about this because of an article that was shared about a child that was being home-schooled, and that child ultimately died because of abuse suffered at the hands of the child’s parent. The child’s grandmother is very upset about this, and rightly so. But the grandmother is making the case that if the child had been in public school, this abuse would have been seen and reported, rather than hidden behind closed doors because the child was home-schooled. So now the grandmother wants more rules and laws imposed on home-schooling parents so this does not happen again. This is kind of stated in a nutshell to get to the heart of what is bothering me about this.

I have home-schooled our children over the years, and our children have been in public school, as well as enrolled in a day school with some curriculum I have used. We have moved several times during our children’s school years. I have obeyed the rules and laws of each state regarding home-schooling. Some states were more regulated, others not so much.

What bothered me about the article was that the grandmother was making the case about home-schooling, not about the abuse her grandchild had suffered at the hands of the child’s parent. We as people, tend to strike out when we are hurt, misjudged, maligned, angry or grieving. We all do it, but when we cross over and make other people’s lives miserable because of it, that is wrong.

I believe very strongly that parents are responsible for their children. It is their job and duty to raise that child, to protect them, to feed, clothe and house them. It is their responsibility to teach them right from wrong, and to train them to be upstanding citizens. I personally used God’s Word, the Bible as my guide in this, and that is what has formed my view. But I do not push that on other people, and tell them my way was or is the only way. Each person has to decide their way, each parent needs to decide and carry out what is best for their child. God has given us this freedom, and the government should as well.

This freedom should extend to many areas in life in my humble opinion. If you are a parent, it should be your choice where your child attends school, your choice to vaccinate or not, your choice of where to worship, your choice of what doctor to use, your choice of what to feed your child. More laws don’t make better parents.

We have all seen the news reports of the child abuse in the Catholic church. That does not mean every priest is a child molester. We have heard of Fred Phelps and the very tragic things he did while he was alive. But that does not make every conservative, Baptist preacher the same mindset and way of doing things as Fred Phelps. If you home-school your children, you aren’t hiding behind closed doors to physically and mentally abuse your children. Yes, there are priests, pastors, teachers and parents that have abused children…but not all do. Yes, there are pastors that act crazy, but that doesn’t mean all pastors conduct themselves or their lives in the same manner. Some people are vegetarians, but that doesn’t mean all vegetarians walk around with braids in their hair, wearing jeans with daisies on them and Birkenstocks. And yes, I can remember when this was a thought pattern back in the 1970’s! My mother was very much into the health food scene and we shopped weekly with people that looked like that.

My point…don’t lump everyone or one mode of thinking into one big mess. Yes, we can use general observations in most areas. But when our thinking and observations cross over and take away someone else’s freedom and rights, then it’s wrong.

Unfortunately, children are being abused every day. It’s not a poor or rich man’s problem. It’s not about whether you home-school or public school your child. It’s about the abuse taking place. A parent doesn’t have the right to abuse a child. When a parent does this in the form of physical or emotional abuse, which can be manifested in many different ways, that parent has crossed over into the child’s right to have love, protection, food, clothing and shelter. And that is wrong.

Imposing more rules and laws doesn’t make for a more law-abiding citizen. The law-breakers still won’t care, and the law-abiding will just get more and more frustrated. Hard-working people, and common sense thinking seems to be at a premium these days. And that’s where the problem lies.

I grieve for the grandmother and the loss of her grandchild. But it wasn’t about and shouldn’t be made into the issue of why home-schooling is wrong. The focus needs to remain on the abusive parent. If I go to the grocery store and purchase a food item, and then let it set until it’s out of date, and then eat it, and then get sick…that is not the grocery store’s fault. It’s mine for being an idiot. I can’t go and demand that the grocery store never sells that product because I made a bad decision. Well, I can, and then I would be even more of an idiot! And we see this type of stuff everyday. We as a society need to stop making excuses and address the real issues at hand.

Now I will jump off my soap box!

Gardening, Parenting 101

Projects…Labors of Love

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I love watching shows about decorating, landscaping, home renovating, and DIY projects. When the HGTV channel first came on, I was as happy as a pig in cool mud on a broiling summer day. I was amazed that other people enjoyed watching stuff like that too. I just thought I was weird, and my husband still thinks I am. I think it’s fascinating to observe something go from being a wreck, to beautiful. It just satisfies my soul.

Our house has been a project. I would have loved to have had the money and time to gut the place, and then put it back together again as I’ve seen them do on TV shows. After all, it only takes an hour or so, and you have a crew of people at your beck and call…right? And then, voila, your house is perfect and staged. If any of you have lived in a project home, you know that’s not the case. These are the facts:

  • If something can go wrong, it will go wrong, and then some.
  • The estimated cost of a project is about an 1/8th of what it will actually cost.
  • The time calculated to complete the project will be less than an 1/8th of the calculated time frame.
  • My husband loves this one…the projects will never, ever be done. Something else will fall apart.
  • You will grow to despise the big box stores and the mention of a tool.

We have lived in our house since October of 2005. We have painted the outside, which needs to be done again. We had a new roof put on, new bathroom, wiring, plumbing, etc. I’ve landscaped, and made it a real challenge to mow the grass. It would be incredibly boring to just mow straight, walking back and forth for hours. Trees, shrubs, and flower beds break up that monotony. The yard is lovely with shade, peonies and roses fragrant in the air. And it would be wonderful to sit in the yard and enjoy it, for the two weeks or so that it’s not broiling hot outside or freezing. Yes, that is a bit sarcastic, but it rather feels like that much of the time!

Whenever a little bit more progress has been made on our house, I’m thrilled. It’s something I can check off. Our kitchen base cabinets and sink was finally moved to their plumbed location about a month ago. New counters were installed. I love that little corner of the kitchen now!

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Once the wall cupboards are moved and the back splash is up, you won’t see that jagged corner line. But progress has been made.

This picture makes me feel thankful.

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The flowers were a Mother’s Day gift from our third daughter and fourth child. She made my favorite almond flour brownies and cold brew concentrate to go along with it. The little plaque was a gift from the church we are attending. The pastor and his wife had an assortment of signs from Hobby Lobby that the mothers were able to choose from. I thought that was very special. When the kitchen is finished, this will be a reminder for me, that God has already taken care of tomorrow…and all my expectations for anything in this life are really not that important in the light of eternity.

Those pictures make me thankful. Thankful for the time my husband, our son and son-in-laws put into the kitchen project. Our son’s Mother Day gift to me was installing a light in my office and lights in the master bedroom closets. Three more things checked off my list. Our second oldest took me to lunch for Mother’s Day. It was a really good day, the day after Mother’s Day, going to doctor’s appointments, oil change and shopping with a wonderfully behaved one-year old. Our oldest has been a tremendous help with my book editing, and going to events with me, a privilege I never thought I would have. Our youngest made me cake pops with the help of our second oldest daughter and her husband. All of this seems like bragging, but I’m not. I stand amazed at what God has allowed in my life, the gifts He has given me over the years. Special words spoken and written down by our children are sources of encouragement and leave me brimming with love.

This house has been a project. Many days I’ve wanted to just move, and eventually we probably will. But I walk through my humble home and think of all that has gone on here over the years. Each time I flip a light switch, turn on a faucet, or wipe down my new kitchen counter top, the love is there…the projects that have been accomplished for me by those I love. Gutting the house and having a crew put it back together again would have been wonderful. But I wouldn’t have the memories that I have.

March 8, 2008 before the Ball

This is the original corner of the kitchen, picture taken around seven years ago. The new base cabinets, counters and sink is now in that corner. Our family was heading out to our first ball that night. Isn’t my husband handsome? And this is our two youngest, ready for the ball. Fun memories!

Parenting 101

Mother’s Day IS Important!

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Tomorrow we celebrate Mother’s Day. There are so many days set aside now to remember. You name something, and there is a day for it. A very quick internet search told me that Monday, May 15th is Nylon Stockings Day. I don’t think anyone calls them that anymore, and wearing them is a trial, but there is a day set aside for that. Tomorrow is also Chicken Dance Day. Another fun day to celebrate. Our children and I actually learned this dance to share at our local nursing home a few years ago. Our youngest daughter loved it, but I don’t think her siblings thought it was such a great idea. Saturday, May 20th is, Be a Millionaire Day. That might be fun to try on for a while. But as I said before, if you name it, there is a day for it.

All of that is rather fun, but I fear that days such as Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and Grandparent’s Day will get lost in the shuffle. And yes, there is a Children’s Day, but as I always told our children, every day is your day. You don’t have to go to work, your housing and food is provided, and you have terrific parents…so every day is your day! Enjoy! They didn’t think much of that either.

I think Mother’s Day is a special day, and all of us mother’s have a list of what we think would be great for Mother’s Day. Here is a little video giving just a short version of some lists mothers may have. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVuqj0BZIGo I think any mother can probably relate to several points made here.

When I was expecting our first baby, I was about two months along for my first Mother’s Day. I was really excited about it. A day just for me…maybe some chocolate, flowers, etc. My husband was in the Air Force Reserves back then and of course he had his weekend away that first Mother’s Day for me. After feeling a bit sorry for myself, I had a great ending to that day with the return of my husband, and I know he probably brought me flowers, because he always did for special occasions.

Thinking back on that day, I smile, because I didn’t have a clue of what I was celebrating, and I hadn’t even really earned the right to wear the Mother Badge at that point in time. Being sick every, single, day for four months didn’t really count. After I delivered our 9 lb. 6 oz. daughter, three weeks late after several days of labor, I was beginning to have a clue. Along came our second, then our third, fourth and fifth. Every one with the four months of misery. Thankfully the hours of labor lessened with each one!

But delivering a baby isn’t the only aspect of being a mother, and it’s not the most important one. Because you can be a mother without delivering a baby. And that is why I believe we should celebrate Mother’s Day.

My first Mother’s Day back in May of 1987 was very special to me, but with each succeeding one, they became even more precious. The flowers and cards are always appreciated. The chocolate is anticipated. Breakfast in bed or on the way to church would be lovely, or lunch afterwards just as delicious. Jewelry, new clothes, a manicure…all great gifts. But I think any mother would say that the day is made special by the children that made her a mother.

I look back on all those years. The years that seemed as though they would take forever to end when the children were sick and up all night. The years of preparing meals, all day long, the loads, and loads, and loads of laundry. The little squabbles that irritated me, and all the questions asked. I can look back, but all of that fades into a blurry haze, and what emerges is the memory of rocking each child to sleep at night. The stories read, the times of singing when we all did the dishes, and the little squabbles that ended with hugs.

Those years are what make a mother. Those years that flew by more swiftly than I ever thought they would.

Happy Mother’s Day to our three daughters that are now mothers. I wish each of you the same fulfillment and love that I have experienced being your mother. It’s because of our five children that I can wear the Mother’s Badge.

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Just For Fun!

The Creative Soul

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There are days when I really feel as though I should give up writing, and go back to school to be a graphic artist. I always wanted to be an artist, a famous one of course! But then I also wanted to be a famous singer. I practiced my songs during my nap times, taking the top little finial from my canopy  and using it for a microphone. That was pretty hazardous when I think back on it, but I don’t recall my mother rushing in to pull me out of a pile of pink cotton and maple slats. And that would have made an impression on me! Although I also remember practicing my artistic drawings on the headboard of that same bed and surviving to tell about it. The metal clip on the back of my barrette made a delightful tool.

My memory drifts through when I was young, about elementary school age.  Art class, drawing, painting, pottery, and anything remotely creative fascinated me. Where ever I was, I would draw what I saw. The place-mats we used at Christmas, the view from the kitchen window, an especially pretty scene while we were out on a family drive. I wanted to transform my visions into reality on paper.

I never did take art classes beyond what I received in public school. I am very thankful for the wonderful teachers I had that encouraged my creativity, and made me aware of contests to enter. A Wilton cake-decorating course and a few pottery classes in my late teens and before children just seemed to entice me further. But then children happened, and the most drawing I did for many years was shaping the letters to form a grocery list.

Oct. 14, 1995

It may seem as though I blame my children for the squelching of my artistic dreams. I don’t. For when I had children, they were also my dream, my goal of a perfect life. I emerged myself in that. And every now and then, we made crafts at Christmas, painted ceramic objects, and built gingerbread houses. The creativity was still there, just in a different form. Enough to know that our children inherited their own creativity in diverse and spectacular ways. And that’s what it’s all about.

Today I spent several hours being creative. I designed a meme for Facebook in honor of Mother’s Day. I also made a couple posters for an event I have for my books on Saturday. I feel refreshed, and able to breathe again. Being creative seems to release pent-up emotions and frustrations in me…and not everyone would understand that.

Dunlap Church Event

Dunlap Craft and Flea Market pricing

What I am most thankful for, are the talents that God has given me. And we all have them. Some people just tap into their talents and gifts more than other people do. Maybe someday, a painting course, or learning more about using the computer for art will be an option for me. But right now, I have so many things that interest me, and I get to dabble in them all. And I like that!

In honor of Mother’s Day, I will include this meme I designed for Facebook. And if any of you have a mind to, please stop by and like my author’s page. I would really appreciate it! https://www.facebook.com/deborahanndykeman Have a fantastic weekend!

Happy Mother's Day

Our Christian Walk

Droplets to Deluge

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Water is a much-needed entity in our everyday lives. We drink it for our health, and we bathe in it for cleanliness. Rain is needed to grow beautiful flowers, and to water crops and gardens. We enjoy water for a boat ride, or to cool off on a hot summer day. The gentle patter of rain on a tin roof can lull us to sleep, while the pounding of a deluge can cause us to question our choice of roofing material. A babbling brook welcomes our toes after a long hike in the mountains, and the roaring of the ocean’s waves engulfs our senses. Water is magnificent, beautiful and a curiosity.

This liquid becomes a curiosity when it reaches out of its bounds. Sometimes the unleashing of a storm pushes those limits. The confines of reservoirs and dams that are man-made, and other times solid rock or shifting sands of nature can be challenged to hold…water.

I have always been intrigued by flooding. Maybe the Big Thompson Flood of July 31, 1976 piqued my interest. I was just eleven years old that summer, and watching the coverage on the news of that canyon flooding  really made an impact on me. I lived in Longmont, Colorado at the time, and that was almost too close for comfort. Those areas had been Sunday afternoon drives in the mountains, and I could remember them.

Water is a need in our lives. Without it, we die. But too much in wrong places can be devastating.

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Missouri and other areas are looking like those three pictures. Kansas has had some local flooding as well. We went from needing some rain after a dry winter to needing to dry out. Our garden, which needs to be tilled, is one giant mud pie. But my newly transplanted rose of sharon and baby elms are doing fantastic with all the water.

And that’s life. In everything there can be a curse and a blessing. Please pray for those affected by the flooding in Missouri. I know a few people dealing with it. Each time I look up at those gray skies and dread more rain, I’m thankful for a newer roof, holding secure. I’m thankful for my flourishing plants and the cool days. And I’m thankful for my dry house, and not needing a boat to go to the grocery store. In everything give thanks.

 

Just For Fun!

13 Chocolate Mocha Recipes

deborahanndykeman

Okay, anyone that knows me, knows that I love chocolate. My husband and our youngest daughter know not to leave any sitting around the house. Chocolate must not be saved for later eating! That is a no-no! So when I saw these pictures, I just had to share with all of you. Agatha Chocolats@agathachocolats is a great site for chocolate visuals and recipes, as well as many other great reads. Check it out after you read this post from the site.

I have some serious cravings going on now! Enjoy this and your Friday afternoon. With a cup of coffee of course!

A Day to Remember, Parenting 101

Shopping Is…

deborahanndykeman

For many, many years, Walmart was my place to shop. I was thrilled that I could go to one place and find everything that I needed for the week. And yes, I went every week. I would generally start in the garden section in the warmer months, browsing the plants and looking for deals. Then would come the shampoo and toothpaste aisles. Of course I would swing through the clothes section, always shopping the clearance racks. Then the last, and most expensive part of the trip would be the groceries. This was my routine and I thoroughly enjoyed it, sometimes dragging several children along with me.

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Last night, my husband and our youngest went to Walmart. Long gone are the days I mentioned above! That store is now my least favorite, and I don’t even know all the reasons why. But of course I’m going to list a few here for your enjoyment! And remember, for the past several years, even getting me into a Walmart is a chore.

  • The prices are not what they once were. Yes, there are some deals still. I usually get my Tide and Downey there. Some things like mini-blinds and curtain rods are still reasonable.
  • Gone are the racks of children’s clothing on clearance with prices marked down to $.50 for a shirt or shorts. I once shopped a full season ahead, praying the clothes would still fit by the time our children could wear them without freezing or roasting. To be fair, prices are higher for everything everywhere. But last night, the clearance rack was not a deal. I know because I had just spent the better part of my day shopping online for children’s clothing. I found better deals there.
  • The atmosphere is not the same as it once was. Maybe I’m coming at it with a different perspective now. My days are fairly quite with a twelve-year old at home. Going shopping isn’t a calming experience. I think that all those hours spent in Walmart were my salvation, my opportunity to connect with the rest of the world and know there was one out there! It was my little treat, and all it cost me was the price of my groceries.
  • People everywhere are over-worked, over-stressed, over-stimulated and just plain depressed about their lives in general. That just kind of oozes out when you are in places like Walmart in my opinion. The clerks usually growl at you, the customers don’t make eye-contact, even if their phone isn’t in front of their face. It just isn’t a fun place to be. And if you are there late as we were last night, the truck is being unloaded…and don’t try to shop then! You have to be one fantastic cart-driver to get around that obstacle course! And don’t even think of browsing a shelf. If you can move the pallet of boxes in front of what you need, you’d better be quick. That Walmart associate has a job to do, and you’re not part of it.

Farmer’s Markets seem to be calling me. When I had several children trailing behind, they didn’t feel like a responsible way to spend my money or time. I wanted to leisurely choose my goods in that environment, maybe sip on a coffee and have a bagel as I chatted with other friendly people and vendors. Plus, to purchase in bulk and get all my shopping done in one place probably wasn’t going to happen at a farmer’s market when all five children were at home.

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This photograph reminds me of a place called the Carrot Barn. It was located in Schoharie County, upstate New York in the Catskills region. The place smelled earthy and fresh. There was local produce, some clothing, some antiques and always a friendly person. They even had delicious baked goods. And there was always music playing. Calming, soothe-your-soul music. Even to this day, our children will hear a song and comment that it sounds like Carrot Barn music.

Those are the memories I want to make now!

This last picture is included because I just think that’s neat! What a way to store shopping carts! Try getting one of those unlocked!

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Shopping should be as it once was. Picture the Waltons, barefoot children trailing into the store greeting Mr. Godsey. They always had something to talk about, he gave them candy. Sometimes he would make a special purchase possible, even when the money wasn’t there right then. Going to the store was a time to visit, to catch up on the town’s happenings. I can even smell the atmosphere…the earthy, fresh aroma of ground coffee beans, leather, spices and the oiled wood floor. And now…

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